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i don't do bad sauce passes
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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art blog(derogatory)
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@erysian
I know a bunch of people are into this as a kink thing, but as a person who is really into survivalism, this is so cool.
Strap them on like backpack
writers take note if you have a scene where a character needs to move someone
some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs
* body language masterlist
* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does
* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes
* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said
* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again
* some more body language help
(hope this helps some ppl)
Send help I’ve been laughing for 15 minutes the internet killed my sense of humor
I was expecting exactly that and was not disappointed
to those of you who are moving here from tiktok, from someone whos used both tiktok and tumbr for years...
1. DO NOT censor your posts
dont censor sex, abuse, suicide, dont censor it. we dont have censors like tiktok does, you wont be banned for talking about these things and tagging them properly helps people avoid them (also, we dont have shadowbanning here)
2. we dont really have an algorithm
you follow who you follow, and you see posts from who you follow or what you search. the 'for you page' is basically useless here. this also brings me to my next two points
3. dont crosstag
we get it, on tiktok you have to crosstag for reach, but thats not really a thing here. just tag your posts properly (also posters often leave more info about the post in the tags!! and when you reblog stuff you can leave your own notes in the tags, kind of like the old "repost comments" on tiktok)
4. dont expect to go viral/be famous
"viral" isnt really a thing on here (at least not for the average blogger). your posts will probably get 2-10 likes and you wont get nearly as many followers than on tiktok. thats just how tumblr is
5. blocking is your best friend
tiktok is VERY discussion based, and while tumblr is much more discussion based than other social medias, its still not a good place for ragebait/discourse. dont interact, itll make your experience worse in the end, just block and move on
6. you cant go into someone elses house and start rearranging their furniture
this is tumblr, not tiktok. dont diss old tumblr users for how they use the site or try to change them, thats like going into someone elses house and trying to rearrange their furniture. we've been here longer and we're familiar with the site and its culture, either find your niche, adapt, or find a different app
It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.
I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.
How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?
Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.
HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.
WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.
(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:
Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.
In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.
Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place.
We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps.
And by god, we will eat anything.
We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food.
We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin.
We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live.
We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out
We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places.
We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights
We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them.
On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us
We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!
On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.
Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.
Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow.
The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.
Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.
We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it.
Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel.
They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”
#an individual human being is actually a microbiome in its own right—you are dealing with a legion each time you approach them #they carry pathological agents inside their deep tissues and this is advantageous to their health #one of the most widespread and resilient viruses on their planet is treated as mildly hazardous—even though it causes #massive disruption to the body’s homeostasis #(their young offspring endure multiple rhinovirus infections EACH YEAR yet they seem unperturbed by this) #they have developed such long lifespans that now their primary threat is their own body’s degeneration #humanity has literally figured out how to survive so long that their body gives out under them #and they are not satisfied with that #stupid willful vengeful survivalists who treat mortality like a challenge
I am speechless
We are the real terror to the aliens. That’s why they don’t come around
HERITAGE POST
this is the OG humans are scary space monsters post!
@hellsite-hall-of-fame tell me you’ve got itttt
OH MY GOD THIS POST
Okay I know you all had fun with this for half a million notes now but as the op I declare all additions to be non canon because I specifically said we would be “one of” the “more” scary aliens. Not the most. Not even one of the most. We would be “one of the more” awful as in there’s millions of species, and we’re in the upper thousands of most undesirable nasty ones thanks to having ONE rare and dangerous property. Of course not all of our biology is special, don’t be silly, vision and healing and spicy cuisine would have evolved all over the place.
But maybe you need an assassin so you go to the seediest scummiest space bar you can find and there’s one of those guys with the antimatter breath, one of those soul sucking energy beings, a cerebral parasitoid and a human playing cards together.
Maybe the human ends up being just what you need because your nemesis is one of the many, many species that explode if a human farts on them. I never said our infamy would be glamorous. Maybe we’re even just so damn ugly nothing can stand to look at us outside our suits and mutual eye contact causes temporary insanity.
I made the original post because I love settings packed full of creepy monsters and would love to see us put in the creepy monster category, not humans as an all powerful nightmare terror. As other notes have put it that would just be sad. I don’t want the universe to be full of vulnerable weaker creatures we can obliterate I just want us to be one of the sketchy guys. :(
i guarantee theres aliens feeding on radiation and aliens communicating through and using radiation. i think thats scarier than eating a spicy pepper
As a matter of fact one setting that always got me thinking on this topic as a kid was the 90’s Men In Black movies and animated series, and it has a whole episode about an alien that generates increasing amounts of radiation as part of its life cycle, with the potential to explode like an atomic bomb:
We don’t get insight into the world or civilization they came from, but it’s confirmed to be their natural biology; that they’re all “walking nuclear reactors.” For them, their radioactive output is as normal as breathing. So how did these beings FEEL when they took the stars and discovered species that can get cancer and die just by standing near them? Worlds like ours where their destructive potential is on par with what we consider one of our most unspeakably heinous weapons? How unusual ARE they, even? Are there lots of other radioactive space-faring species they can get along with, or are they truly a freakish extreme, banned and reviled by most worlds?
At the opposite end of the spectrum is a one-off joke in another episode about this alien who had to be arrested for “exposing his odor glands in public” and held in a specially designed cell. You have to wonder if it’s a defense mechanism, which means they would be used to it repelling other species even on their own world, or if it’s just how they communicate and smells perfectly nice by the standards of their native environment. So now imagine taking to the stars, right, and other species think you fucking reek so putridly they made it a crime with its own dedicated stinky bastard jail.
And heck, just look at poison ivy on our own world; most animals can touch it and/or eat it without any problem. Humans are unusual in being so horribly allergic to it, which means the effect is “accidental,” and not likely to be any special defense it evolved against large mammals. Lots of things can be toxic to us and not to other animals, or vice versa, through nothing but coincidental biochemical incompatibility. If we’re naturally dangerous by the average standards of the universe, I like to think it isn’t for any reason we can predict. ABSOLUTELY NOT REMOTELY anything we already know is exceptional about us among other animals or anything we make use of. I want to imagine how it affects us to discover that through sheer cosmic happenstance we are able to Create Problems that fall somewhere, modestly, between the severity of a Nuclear Bomb People, and a Rancid Stank Ass People. That, as it turns out, we are a civilization of Poison Ivy.
i think he wants a hug
Drawn by babezord
1 Beast of Darkness art doll is available now in my shop
The one with bigger teeth is sold
Beast of Darkness is a character from Berserk manga.
Resin, fabric fur, wire+plastic armature, primer, acrylic paint, varnish. Posable neck has plastic ball-and-socket armature inside and can be posed. Tail is also posable and has wire armature inside. Legs contain wire armature inside, so you can carefully and slightly move it to find perfect balance if you keep the doll on uneven surface.
Size: 26 cm tall and 49 cm length
Lighting striking atop Acatenango volcano in Guatemala
Jötunn's folly
ya’ll i am fucking sobbing at these photos of a horse catching a frisbee
valid to eat frisbees
I try not to have too much disc horse on my dash, but I guess this is ok.
The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"
And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down
Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!
i will never stop reblogging this how the fuck did she slide against the wall so perfectly
write a story about how you became the world’s most powerfull person… by accident.
You learn about the butterfly effect in school. The concept is interesting, but not so interesting that you don’t fall asleep partway through the movie. You hear something distantly about a butterfly beating its wings and hurricanes. You think it will never apply to you.
You know now (not then) that power comes through and from favors.
If you had known that then you would probably not have done so many.
(This is where it starts.)
One.
There is a strange creature crossing the road behind the lecture hall. You stop on your bike and frown at it. It looks a little like a turtle, but it’s limbs are longer than any turtle you’ve ever seen. It’s stretched out on the hot asphalt, long, pale limbs clawing forward towards the small stream that runs on the other side.
You hop off your bike and gently pick the creature up, hands under the belly of the shell like you learned from the internet.
Imagine your surprise when the shell slides off the creature instead, dropping a tiny woman onto the asphalt.
“Water,” she croaks, tiny eyes screwed shut. Her eyelids are the size of yours which means they’re huge on her. “Please.”
(You will not know until later what exactly please means to the fae.)
You feel yourself move through your shock. You pick her up and take her to the water’s edge. She slips under the surface, pale skin flashing like the scales of a fish, and she’s gone.
You’d wonder if your roommate slipped you something this morning if she wasn’t back a moment later, pushing a small rock into your hands.
“A boon,” she says. Her eyes are large and black, suited for her underwater world. “For a favor.” She smiles, showing teeth jagged and sharp like a piranha.
When you blink, she’s gone.
You stare at the rock in your left hand. It’s smooth and worn from years in water, an interesting swirl of granite and quartz. “I wish I knew,” you tell it.
The rock ices over so fast that you don’t have time to drop it. The frost swirls across your skin, burning you where it touches, and you watch in horror as your skin turns a mottled black and blue.
You fall to your knees from the pain and choke on a scream as the stone sinks into you, touching your bones and sending more ice through your marrow. It climbs up your arm and touches your eye, changing you vision so now that you’re see double, a strange, blue world juxtaposed next to the one you know and love.
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No need to unmute, he sounds exactly how you'd expect a man of his disposition to
