FIVE TIPS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I PLAYED [new AAA title]
1. (basic game mechanic)
2. (basic game mechanic)
3. (thing explicitly stated in three different tutorial messages)
4. (false information)
5. (basic game mechanic)
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FIVE TIPS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I PLAYED [new AAA title]
1. (basic game mechanic)
2. (basic game mechanic)
3. (thing explicitly stated in three different tutorial messages)
4. (false information)
5. (basic game mechanic)
People would take care of themselves better if they had healthbars
JUST LIKE
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
💯🙏💛🟨👍
Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is
yknow what would be a fucked up phone feature
No, I don't. Please, proceed.
if whenever you plugged it in you had to manually enable charging mode and there was no built in way to automate it
That would be fucked up.
yknow what would be more fucked up
Football field full of viruses.
Abraham Lincoln teeth sculpture.
Really big vampire.
Inside-out Sweden.
if they added automatic charging mode but paywalled it
Yeah that's pretty fucked up.
I think my biggest problem with Beastars is that all the predator animals were like, super bloodthirsty and the stigma was that predators are just murderers-in-waiting, when there should have been fuckin hamsters mauling the shit out of everything they perceived as a threat or minor inconvenience. A donkey caving skulls because some pred looked at them wrong. Rabbits biting onto somebody's neck and goring them with their machine-gun raking kicks.
It's a very fun and enjoyable story overall, but it's clearly romanticising the "power" and "ambition" of the predator, when it should have been portraying the horror that is the fury of the prey.
yeah like i had the football conversation with some guys at work the other day and it took awhile to explain this. see, i think modern american football should be played with a bull moose on the field. i would watch it if there was a moose on the field and if he got you, he got you. i think this would absolutely improve everything about the game, from the perspective of the audience.
and every time i bring up my cherished dream of Moose Football, someone says, ‘wait, like the coliseum? why wouldn’t you use lions?’
and i have to explain that lions wouldn’t fight anyone if you dumped them on a football field. one male lion versus two teams of beefy human men? it would be animal abuse, the lion would be stressed to death after like one game. lions are either cooperative or ambush hunters. you could not keep a lion healthy if you were regularly exposing it to football players. tigers are even worse, they won’t attack anything from the front, drawing eyeballs on a cow’s butt is enough to get them to back off. big cats have to fight something to death for every meal for their whole adult lives and their life ends once they start losing those fights. so they pick their battles really carefully.
a moose, though. a bull moose is not exactly full of bloodlust, but he’s big and he’s confident and he could tear through a football team without breaking a sweat, and he knows it. football moose could be a thing, easy.
and they should.
Roach I desperately need you to expound further on the virtues of Moose Football because the more I think about PvPvM (player vs player vs Moose) gameplay in a sports arena, the more violently excited I become, and I would like to enter Moose Football into the mind rotisserie
here’s what i know about football: those guys spend too much time standing around while sports commenters make noises. then they run around a bit. then stuff stops again. i don’t like any of that. i want there to be a moose to look at. any time everyone is just standing around looking hot and annoyed, the camera should be on what the moose is doing. the players can go off the field, when it’s not their turn to do the football running part, but the moose should get free reign of the whole pitch. the handlers can give it carrots depending on how many guys it’s bowled over so far. i think probably you should have two separate camera feeds: one covers the boring football game and talks about the strategies and statistics and whatever. it can have as much footage as anyone likes of the football men. the other one is the perpetual moose cam and they get like a david attenborough deepfake to tell you what the moose is doing at all times.
the other thing is that i think sports teams should all have their own moose and it comes with them when they do away games. like, wherever the game is being played, the visiting team brings the moose. i think that would probably make it interesting, strategically, for people who care about that kind of thing. it would be in a team’s best interest to bring along the biggest, meanest, healthiest motherfucker they can possibly manage. if the moose likes them, great! if the moose doesn’t like anyone, that’s also fine, at least they know this moose’s particular moves. i know teams trade players around a lot, so that could also be something for people who like football to talk about boringly at work when i’m trying to eat lunch. who’s the new guy on that team? is he any good? and how’s he doing with the moose?
anyway. there you go. Moose Football. we live in the darkest fucking timeline.
if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost
take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle
fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism
now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning
some others i found in the notes
Not really in the same vein, but i wanna add some great ones.
This whole post is my current philosophy
meth deer hero
apparently europeans have the impression that US Americans never learn the metric system.
like our science curriculum from day one is entirely done in the metric system. we just don't use metric in our day to day lives.
yeah actually we kinda just do it for the bit :)
I have had people try to gently and kindly explain to me the workings of the metric system, as if Americans are having trouble with the concept of a base ten system. like no. we get it. we were taught this when we were like eight. it's just that like. we don't really wanna do it that way. for the bit.
This is the secret Big Female doesn’t want us to know
maybe the real clitoris was the friends we made along the way
The people of Hyrule watching their recently un-cursed castle do something even more cursed
The "car community" claim that the sexual component is small. A Google search for "car porn" suggests otherwise. Of course adults can do
not what i came here for but im not about to leave
seth rogen was real for this one
I can relate to this on every level
“postmortem decay set in SERIOUSLY quickly”