This week's Parkner Writer's Spotlight goes to @ethereal-parkner (Saladbabie). Saladbabie is an amazing angst writer who always has an interesting spin on anything they write. Their fics bring a new view to the parkner ship and always being wonderful. Give it up to the one and only Saladbabie.
Our Team's Fic Rec:
Nose to Nose but Wanting to be Mouth to Mouth - That night they both knew. They knew it was enough for both of them to just exist so long as they existed with the other. (or: five times Peter snuck into Harley's room + one time Harley brought Peter there himself)
Will You Still Love Me - When Peter said his best friend’s name was Harry, he certainly wasn’t expecting to be meeting Harry Osborn. Harry Osborn, handsome, home from France, billionaire. Peter could tell too, though he’d hoped that eventually Harley would be comfortable around the other boy. To be fair, everyone was a bit like that the first time they met a billionaire, but after months, Peter could still sense the venom hiding in Harley’s voice every time he talked about Harry.
Garden Growing - Harley Keener had more flower sprouts than most of the kids on the playground. Until he didn't, then it was much much worse. Soulmates AU where flowers bloom from the site of soulmates injuries CW: Peter gets "poked" by a knife
The gang uses Harry’s new fake ID to buy alcohol for the first time
read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31980718
1.7k
Harry sighed from the driver’s seat, resting a hand on the steering wheel of the parked car. He tried his best to stay calm despite the way his heart beat in the top of his chest. Harry Osborn had a bit of a reputation for being a drama queen, but he really tried to stay calm so as to not mess up their plan. Peter, on the other hand, who sat in the far back, practically filled Harry’s mini van with his own anxiety. Their veins were on fire as his heart pumped loud enough to hear.
The group of friends was sitting in the parking lot of a liquor store to, for the first time, buy alcohol for themselves. Some, like Gwen and Flash, weren’t stressed over it at all. Others (Peter) were seconds away from combusting. Peter had a tendency to stress himself out, especially in new situations.
“Dude, you’re making me nervous,” Ned hissed from the opposite seat in the back. Peter whipped their head towards Ned and defended,
“I’m not even doing anything!” Peter was betrayed, however, by his right leg which bounced rapidly against the floor, which caused the whole van to shake just enough to feel.
Harry had requested that the gang join him to calm his nerves, but bringing Peter along may have been a mistake because, unfortunately, Peter has never had even a taste of alcohol in his life. Despite spending a large majority of his time with the world’s most famous alcoholic, Peter has never had any experience with or around alcohol. Needless to say, Peter was making Harry a little nervous.
“Pete, calm down, or you’re gonna get us caught,” Harley rested a hand on Peter’s bouncing leg in an attempt to calm him down. Before Peter even tried to get offended, Harley raised his eyebrows at them, knowing he was right. Peter wasn’t the best under pressure. Even though Ned and Harry weren’t great under pressure, they at least had some experience with alcohol. They at least weren’t flooding the air of Harry’s 2009 Honda Odyssey with the pungent musk of anxiety.
Harley had the pleasure of sitting directly between Peter and Ned in the very back of the van. He understood why he, Peter, and Ned were in the back. Harry was the driver, and he let Flash sit shotgun, and MJ and Gwen claimed the 2nd row seats for themselves. What he didn’t understand was why Harley, who measured in at a whopping 6’1”, was sat between Peter and Ned, neither of which surpassed 5’7”. (He was beginning to suspect that Peter and Ned just liked to watch him try to fit his legs up in the middle).
“Okay, Peter’s not coming in with us,” Harry announced, finally tired of the suffocating vibes of Peter Parker. Upon the agreement of everybody else in the car, Peter argued,
“Why?! I’ll be cool, I promise.” They did not believe him, but, to be fair, it was pretty hard to say no to them.
“Okay fine,” Harry finally gave in. They didn’t know what it was, but Harry always had a weak spot for Peter, even more so than Harley who was Peter’s boyfriend. (Ned and MJ agreed amongst themselves it had to do with Harry crushing on Peter all through middle school and some of high school. Even though Harry didn’t necessarily feel romantically for Peter anymore, he was still special).
“No absolutely not,” Harley noted, “They’ll be too nervous.”
“Harley, c’mon!” Peter turned to Harley and grabbed his hand, “If Ned can go then I’ll be fine.” Peter had a point: Ned wasn’t great under pressure either. In the end, it didn’t matter because Peter was able to weasel his way inside with the rest somehow.
“Fine,” Harry mused, “but we can’t all stick together like a group of children. I want to see at least two different groups.”
Walking into the liquor store, Peter was obviously proud of himself, but once inside, they resembled a puppy that had just shit on the floor: he had his own guilt written all over his face. In retrospect, it probably was suspicious that all 7 of them had gone into the store together.
Harry pulled what they needed: one handle of Tito’s, and one handle of Bacardi. (He was just going to buy the Tito’s, but Ned insisted that he and Peter would want to make daiquiris, reassuring Peter that he would prefer a daiquiri over shots).
“Peter, darlin’, you’ve got to calm down,” Harley uttered to Peter who was facing a display of champagne, but looking far past it as they tugged at their shirt and kicked their Converse-clad feet against the ground. Harley, who stood behind Peter, ran his hands over Peter’s arms from shoulder to elbow and back up.
MJ, who was seemingly getting bored, decided to sneak past Peter and jab two fingers into his side as they continued past. Harley could’ve sworn Peter jumped high enough to hit the ceiling.
“Hey, hey, calm down,” Harley tried to stop himself from laughing at Peter who was busy catching his breath. MJ did not try to stop themself from laughing, in fact they laughed so hard that Harry felt the need to glare at the three of them from across the store where he stood with Flash, Gwen, and Ned.
Ned held the Bacardi like it was a baby, going so far as to cradle it in his arms. When he made eye contact with Peter, he held the bottle up with one hand, a thumbs up with the other. Gwen took the bottle from Ned, signalling her hand to not draw attention to himself. Peter was soothed just a little, knowing that, if this goes wrong, it might not be just his fault.
Peter was soothed entirely when he noticed Ned, entirely across the store, doing the robot in Peter’s direction. (Peter didn’t have any choice but to return the dance, resulting in two 19 year olds doing the robot at each other from opposite sides of a liquor store). Harry was the one who ultimately stopped them once the whole group started getting odd stares from the other guests in the store.
Peter, Harley, and MJ listened in closely from the side of the store as Harry checked out. It was the first time he was using the fake ID he bought online, so they were all hoping it would work. If they were being honest, Harley or Gwen should’ve been the one to get a fake ID. At the very least, not Harry Osborn, who was basically the epitome of the baby face. The way that the cashier eyed Harry made the rest of the group nervous, but they were reminded why Harry was the one with the ID when he flashed a smile and mused to the cashier,
“Sorry about my friends, it’s their first time in a liquor store.”
They weren’t sure how he did it, but somehow his Harry Osborn Charm made him so god damn believable. Somehow he knew how to flip a switch because, even though the group knew damn well that he was baby-faced Harry Osborn, resident drama queen and gossiper, he quickly presented as Harold Olson, charming man who is definitely old enough to be buying alcohol using his real ID. (Despite using a fake name on his ID, they still ran the risk of a cashier recognizing him as the nineteen year old son of billionaire Norman Osborn).
The cashier handed the fake ID back to Harry and rang up the two bottles, wrapping them in paper bags. Harry thanked the cashier as he took the bags and handed them to Gwen and Flash to carry out. The four of them left the store, and Harley, MJ, and Peter moved to leave shortly after them.
“Excuse me, dear,” the cashier called to them as they neared the door. She pointed to Peter, “I’m going to need to see you empty your pockets.” Peter went white. After a few moments of stuttering in his spot, MJ jostled him with their elbow.
“What pockets?” Peter sputtered out without thinking, clearly. Harley and MJ both landed their faces in their hands, Harley taking a few steps away as if trying to further himself from his sweet, beloved partner.
“I mean, sorry,” Peter laughed nervously, “You know how it is.” She did not know how it was; all she asked was for Peter to empty their pockets. Peter slowly stepped towards the counter, pulling his phone and wallet out of his pockets, along with some spare change and a vape pen he was keeping away from Harry and Flash. They quickly gestured to the items on the counter before murmuring, “That’s how it is.”
The cashier looked over the items for a moment before looking at Peter who hadn’t taken a single breath since they reached the counter.
“Alright, kid, you’re good to go,” she resigned as she sat back in her seat.
“Thank you,” Peter barely choked out as he grabbed his belongings, shoved them all into one hoodie pocket, and speed walked out of the store. Harley and MJ jogged behind as Peter did everything they could to just get out of the store and back to Harry’s 2011 Honda Odyssey.
“Pete, what the hell,” Harley began as they crossed the parking lot. Peter looked on the brink of vomiting, “This is why we told you to stay in the car.”
Peter didn’t answer, instead choosing to throw open the door of the minivan and crawl into the back wordlessly. Harley had to climb over Peter just to reach his seat, and MJ hopped in last, taking their seat and turning to the back.
“Look what I got,” they gloated to the back row. Upon opening their bag, the others saw that they had collected and taken what looked to be 7 different shot glasses from the store.
“Nice,” Gwen chuckled. Peter was horrified; he never had a problem with stealing (although he never had the guts to do it themself), but he was astounded at how MJ could get away with swiping 7 whole shot glasses whereas Peter couldn’t even stand in the store without looking suspicious.
Harry started the car, ready to drive back to his apartment with the group’s newly acquired goods.
peter may have a small, spidery advantage when it comes to DDR
another creation for Parkner discord Pride Bingo
https://discord.gg/cxwUkVW
come hang out to play along for all of pride month (+ nice chats, cool contests, and writer/artist interactions)
quick doodly series i did for these boys, and i may add some more for others someday
can you tell whose handwriting is whose?
(also im not sorry for giving them all fashion sense)
D1: Rain
hi i made this quick for the Pride bingo over in the Parkner discord :) join for fun times and to play along in pride month bingo
https://discord.gg/cxwUkVW
also yes my harley design has long hair and it’s elite so
rb this and tag the features a picrew needs to have (besides obvious stuff like your skin tone or your eye color) in order for you to accurately make yourself in it
for me it’s dark circles and a “crooked smile” mouth option
baratheonpilled
annaxmalina
kaledo-art
janainaart
vaporwave
romaincrisis
