they call me joint pain

because I show up at the most inconvenient times and never truly go away. icon from potatolord's picrew

[animentality]

[evanddexx]

I don't want to unpin this so I'm doing this

pepper-fandom-things -> evanddexx

MY LINKTREE

🏳️‍⚧️♂️ cosplay, gaming, Dr Pepper, my cat Meeko, hyper fixations. Stay tuned for the 100 hour warrior cats video

[violet-periwinkle]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

THEY RELEASED THE COYOTE VS ACME TRAILER !!!!!

WE WON !!!

[chucktaylorupset]

sorry the looney tunes movie that got buried by a massive company for corporate purposes is about fighting back against a massive company trying to bury incidents for corporate purposes?

[ultramaddie]

when it happens, there will be a crab rave like no other

[ultramaddie]

every day i ask the crabs “is now the time?”

and every day the crabs sadly reply with a negative

[edgebug]

[piranya]

[edgebug]

[femmenietzsche]

My eyes immediately shot to Bret Devereaux but there's really a lot to take in here

[st-just]

[philippesaner]

Link to source.

[teaboot]

Highly unlikely to be of use but I want a card I can carry in my wallet that says “If I Die First In A Traumatic Survival Scenario I Want You To Know I’m Okay With You Cannibalizing Me, It’s Fine, Don’t Be Weird And Guilty About it”. And then on the back there could be like. A list of recipes n shit

[chirp-featherfowl]

if infinite monkeys on typewriters will eventually write shakespeare then surely 100 million americans with pistols will eventually successfully assassinate the us president

[foldingfittedsheets]

There is a word I’m not allowed to use. I love it. I love it so much. But my darling beloved wife hates it with a fiery passion.

I came across it from Anne Lister’s diary, where she says that she would “grubble under women’s skirts” and honestly. The word perfectly encapsulates the fumbling feeling of fighting your way through layers of fabric to reach the promised pussy land.

However the word has been forbidden, reviled from the first moment my beloved heard it. They shuddered and it’s truly one of the only restrictions they’ve ever placed on my vocabulary so I don’t say it. But I do think it, on occasion.

Sometimes the word will pop into my head and I will think it too hard and my wife will turn and glare at me and accuse, “I know you’re thinking it!”

“But I didn’t say it!” I protest. But they’re always right. Even with no context they always know when I’m thinking it.

Today I told my wife, “I shared the unmentionable word with Astrid today and she quite enjoyed it. She repeated it several times.”

They bellowed liked a dying wildebeest and said, “I can go months without remembering that word exists and then it comes up again. It’s so disgusting, it’s what Sméagol would do on the ground digging for worms!”

I was laughing and protested, “It sounds like fighting through skirts, the groping around.”

“No! That is something that happens in the muck and the filth. It’s negative sexy.

“Bet you're gonna take to Tumblr and share it and some people are gonna be like, ‘Oh what a great word! We should definitely use that in our lexicon. Top tier word!’ And you know what? THEYRE WRONG. GARBAGE WORD. GROSS.”

I listened to their impassioned hatred while cuddled in their arms and radiated love at them and remorse for having reminded them about the existence of grubbling. But now you get to hear about it. As a treat.

[tlirsgender]

Teenagers are like that because every problem feels the same amount of Catastrophic. There's no sense of scale going on there cause they lack frame of reference. This isn't the fault of The Teenager but it does explain the Discourse Circles I was in when I was younger. Like it operates in both "blowing shit that doesn't matter WAY out of proportion" and "not taking Real Problems seriously enough". This is why dni banners are like that

[tlirsgender]

I fear the only cure for this is to simply stop being a teenager. If you're an adult and still like this I hope you stop being a teenager soon

[trapped--under--rice]

please behold the 24 Hours of Lemons race, in which you can only spend $500 total on a car to cross country race for 24 hours

named after the legendary 24 hour Le Mans race, Lemons rallies barely legal cars in an endurance race across America. had the privilege of sharing the freeway with this race and seeing the absolute art od this event

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

This is so American I could CRY

[hogmilked]

oh this is nothing. some of my favorite lemons entries are:

an airplane stuck on a toyota minivan

this miata built by rocket scientists

the mr2 boat

the nyan cat bmw that i think actually played the song at all times

the homer simpson car built by uranium workers

this limo whose brakes caught on fire

the dumbest corolla and supra wearing funny hats

and so much more. 24 hours of lemons my beloved

[transarsonist]

The absolute metaphorical snarl that is a Limo modeled after the titanic called "unstoppable", whose breaks caught fire, is just, absolutely sending me

[skyporf]

@miata-detector

[miata-detector]

ohhh ive been! my favorite was a car that wasn't properly cooled so they installed a barbecue in the engine to slow cook ribs while they race!

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

no idea if this counts as a lemon or if it raced but I NEED you guys to see chewbaru

It is covered in teeth, dentures, toothpaste, various bones, and several baby doll and mannequin heads which IF I remember right had teeth put in them

[ramenheim]

@brosser-les-dents

[brosser-les-dents]

No, *hides* omg it's horrifying. 🫣😂

Remember to brush and floss your teeth car?

[disorientation]

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

[were--ralph]

when the human 2.0 patch rolls out i think people with uvulas should lay eggs rather than keeping them up in there

[were--ralph]

i can not stress the confidence when i paused and thought "I'm pretty sure uvula is the right part" and got it in one

[were--ralph]

i feel like im being pranked is it a uterus or an ovary or what what is happening in there

[were--ralph]

im tired y'all got conveyor belts and stuff in ya coochie ig

[posts-with-10000-notes-in-spirit]

current note count: 82

[were--ralph]

don't you put that curse on me

[were--ralph]

you little shits

[jurassicshields]

[catchymemes]

[minicy]

[ID. Video of a woman recording an opera performance when her cat, fluffy and with bulging eyes, hops into frame. She stops singing and tries to push the cat slightly out of the way, but on her next cue the cat starts meowing before she can sing. The woman starts laughing as the cat continues meowing to the music, as though it was singing as well. End ID.]

[lew-basnight]

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[m1ssc0mmun1cat10n]

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

[silly-activites]

THE ORIGINAL??

[draconym]

Getting a phone call about an assassination attempt hits a little bit different on the 1988 Spuds Mackenzie promotional telephone

[evanddexx]

[earthnation]

I want to fuck your throat

my thrussy!?!?

[ventrue]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[mighty-meerkat]

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

[moonlitstargazer]