Any Graves Can Hold My Body Down I Won't Eat The Dirt

[kimpimpam]

happy clams

[adz]

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

[honeylemony]

What the fuck who drinks that

[adz]

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

[phage-necro]

this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life

[valtsv]

microdosing on catharsis by watching a fictional character or persona i relate to have an emotional breakdown until my chest starts to ache from the amount i've repressed

[valtsv]

[spaghetti-gremlin]

[Image ID: an image of a pair of scissors cutting a red thread on a plain white background. the scissors are right at the edge of the thread, but haven't cut them yet. the thread is labelled: "the thread i'm hanging on by". the scissors are labelled: "someone's voice cracking with genuine emotion during a performance". /.End ID]

[boeing747]

When your partner has a praise kink but you're Montessori trained so you know that praise is an ineffective way to encourage development and it's much more productive to acknowledge their effort so that they learn to effectively give themselves feedback so they can develop a healthy intrinsic motivation instead of deriving their self worth from labels put on them by other people .... "baby it's amazing how much you could last today compared to last week"

[fanyeline]

#I can tell you’ve been practicing hard and working to build your stamina #how did it feel to last longer? did it feel good? I’m so glad to hear that

[asstrongasyouthink]

lifetime sub who's an experienced dog trainer & teacher trying to encourage a newbie dom w a master's in education: i know iT'S BAD PEDAGOGYYY. JUST PUNISH MEEEeeee please before i die

[sycamorality]

mobility aids and glasses AND MEDICATION should be free for everyone

[voyaging-too]

It's so important to acknowledge the very real and sometimes truly horrible failings of the healthcare profession and the pharmaceutical industry while never ever ever letting them drive us into the arms of pseudoscientific bullshit. This is something I feel really strongly about.

[homunculus-argument]

Hey idk who needs this but helpful reminder that "virgin blood" in any witchcraft shit that requires that means "virgin" in the same sense as "virgin hair" means hair that hasn't been dyed or processed in any way, natural in the default sense. So no, "virgin blood" doesn't mean blood from a virgin, just blood that hasn't been used for any other kind of witchy shit earlier.

Whether nor not someone has fucked before is completely irrelevant. Any act of fucking doesn't instantly make someone contaminated or un-magic any of their shit. You're just not supposed to re-use blood for blood magic. That's just not. Just do not. Like that's just weird who does that.

[homunculus-argument]

no wait that- no that's not- no.

Unles you've like, poured out ALL OF YOUR BLOOD, used it for a spell, and then somehow SIPHONED THE WHOLE THING BACK IN, that doesn't mean the blood on the inside of you is also used. And even then, if you'd had your sacrifical blood IV'd back into your body-

actually nevermind, I need to draw a graph to illustrate:

I hope this helps.

[wardenaristraith]

The blood inside of you is used. Constantly. It's why there is blood there.

If anything, the blood on the outside is unused.

[homunculus-argument]

damn they ain't lying, it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people.

[masao-micchi]

Book rocky is so serious bruh but i love him so much HAHAHAH this is just one of my fave parts in the book

More swap species au here

My other phm art here

Gonna share some other book grace and rocky interactions featuring a bossy/impatient rocky HAHA

[evilnicegirl]

recently my plug has offered free weed for:

bunch of ice

mw2 double xp tokens

[evilnicegirl]

new fetch quest dropped

[evilnicegirl]

[loth-caatgirl]

[prokopetz]

If you want to write in the classic high fantasy mould, you don't have to be hung up on food specifically, but there must be some very mundane thing you're prepared to cultivate a sincere interest in and describe in excruciating detail every single time it comes up. Clothing. Furniture. Architecture. It doesn't work without it.

[prokopetz]

(The trick is, it needs to be something you can touch or hold. If you're infodumping about trade routes, you've crossed the line into the venerable "worldbuilding bible with a fantasy story stapled to the side of it" genre, which often overlaps with classic high fantasy but is not identical with it!)

[misscromwellsmonocle]

The Little Art Connoisseur (1863) August Friedrich Siegert

[darnitjack]

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your toddler was the Little Art Connoiseur

[dogfennel]

first contact

[captain-price-returns]

gentrification is when trash goes in trash cans

[jame7t]

tumblr Mobile apparently has a new processing tab & it turns out I’ve been processing a video for five years

almost done I bet

[elliespectacular]

it would probably move faster if your phone wasn't encased in green gelatin

[jame7t]

the liberal media won’t trick me into removing my protective delicious gels

[prokopetz]

I can never take those "maid and princess" kink scenarios as intended because every time I see one I get a vivid mental image of a scenario where owing to a series of bizarre miscommunications each is convinced they're the one taking sexual advantage of the other.

[prokopetz]

What I'm getting from the notes on this post is that for a lot of y'all your ideal kink scenario is basically an erotic Abbott and Costello bit.

[toomanyassassins]

some of my favorite underrated moments from the phm deleted scenes:

grace inadvertently pushing the button to bring out the other two beds with his butt, immediately after ripping the catheter out of his rectum

"please do not share the food paste with the medical arm" cut to armando using a polite little handkerchief to wipe its "face"

grace pulling the wrong toilet flush and getting his head vacuum-sucked into the centrifugal-oriented one (also thank you phm deleted scenes for the only other angle of the bathroom we will probably ever get <3)

"wHY IS IT IN RUSSiaN???"

idk if the guys in the spacesuit tutorial video are some of the props crew, but if they are then i'm glad they got to show off their creation and have fun/be silly about it

grace's red-and-white stripped boxers + Scorpions t-shirt = incredible sleepover combo

"goodnight grace" "goodnight rocky" "goodnight armando" "goodnight john boy" "goodnight jim bob" "good night mary ellen" etc etc

"rockyyyyyyyy. it's time to go to sleep!" "okay you start!" "i'm trying" "try harder"

just... the whole sleepover scene. these two i stg!!! four fucking years of this shit. i just know grace and rocky achieved levels of co-dependent friendship previously thought unattainable

the original *shake head slowing becoming a nod* that the later post-rocky-wake-up scene calls back to

"maybe we're cousins" "wOAAUUGGGHHH!"

grace doesnt look even vaguely surprised when rocky whips out the split arm tongue thingy. they probably spent the entire trip to adrian just showing off weird body parts to each other

[morningradio]

headcanon that Grace grades the other scientists work only if he’s focusing on something else or he’s tired.

Like. Imagine one of the scientists studying Astrophage gives Grace a paper detailing their recent findings and Grace being locked in on something else, he just looks up, skims the paper, then pulls out a red pen from somewhere and marks it, “B+, you forgot to account for…” then after a 5 minute lecture on how to improve, he goes back to typing or smth. The scientist just standing there baffled thinking ‘B+? What are we in? A classroom?”, and kind of bum hurt that they only got a B+ (bc ofc they want an A) so they go back to researching with a new ferocity cuz dammit they’re going to get that A. Cue the science team being fueled by Dr.Grace’s grades, them just rubbing it into each others faces if they get A’s or A+’s. Headcanon 2 is that he just keeps gold star stickers in his pockets so for example: All of them are in a meeting, Dr. smth pipes up with a good suggestion and he goes, “Great job! You get a gold star.” And just puts it on their phone case or badge and moves on, everyone is flabbergasted and a bit jealous except for the scientist who is just vibrating with happiness and a bit of fear because the co-dictator of the world just gave them a gold star.

Extra: Grace also hits Stratt with the 1 2 punch of “A+! Here’s a gold star.” On one of her presentations after staying up for 36+ hours and slaps a gold star on her forehead before conking out on the desk. Carl is in the corner desperately trying not to laugh bc Grace just did this in front of the entire Petrova task force while Stratt is just staring at him in confused amusement. Extra-extra: The mess hall on Stratt’s Vat has a ‘Fridge-board” which is a magnetic board acting as a fridge for all of their papers with A’s on it. Grace just being mortified when he learns that he’s been grading and giving gold stars to the top minds of the world and Stratt having to assure him that is boosts morale and that it’s fine.

(Once he gets sent off to space, everyone in the task force keeps their stars to remember him, because he never said goodbye.)

(Eva looking at her star and throwing it away, because she couldn’t stand the thought of having a gold star from the man she killed.)