An Absolute Mess

Just a trans boi spamming with their special interests. My special interests are bnha/mha, invader zim, danny phantom, Steven universe, and suicide boy! I love talking! So hit me up! 24 y/o

[lurker-at-thresholds]

Thinking about a new bit where i start using “workers of the world” as my go-to second person plural pronoun. Like “chat”.

[lurker-at-thresholds]

Workers of the world what do we think of this. Is it funny.

[lurker-at-thresholds]

Workers of the world please like and reblog my post

[pangur-and-grim]

I am genuinely so fucking stupid. I was reading this book where a bunch of people have to pass a logic puzzle in order to survive, and I was like "why are they all dying?? the answer is obviously the third goblet from the left!" yeah.....that was not the answer. I would've died in this book, and I would've been SO publicly smug before I did. like giving people the finger, smirking, etc. this sucks.

[robowarrior-god]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[monsterfucker69420]

I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person

[hikes-and-moans]

UNPOPULAR OPINION: A lot of "mental health issues" disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.

[damazcuz]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

[dajo42]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[computationalcalculator]

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

[idontgettechnology]

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[fairycosmos]

being called an old soul when you were kid and knowing you just got diagnosed as a weird cunt

[beemovieerotica]

[laterkiss]

i should've locked in when i was thirteen

[natnormalatall]

roald dahl was antisemitic and misogynistic. george orwell was openly homophobic. edgar allan poe married his 13 year old cousin. dr seuss cheated on his wife (and was racist as well as antisemitic!). hp lovecraft was racist as fuck. anyways they’re fucking dead it’s not like you’re enabling their behaviors in the afterlife or something. then again I think they bleed into the books so uh keep an eye out for that

the difference between these old white guys and jk rowling is that the former group is all dead. jk rowling is alive and using your money to oppress trans people

[muttsandmustelidae]

haha yeah man female dogs are bitchy and female horses are bitchy and female cats are bitchy and female ferrets are bitchy and female rats are bitchy and female guinea pigs are bitchy and female birds are bitchy and female rabbits are bitchy and female everything is bitchy. lol! isn’t it so funny how you think that! isn’t it so silly that this is your perception of literally every species! haha! i’m sure there’s nothing to unpack there! i’m sure you’re 100% accurate and unbiased in your conclusion that female animals are just inherently evil! i’m sure you have very normal thoughts about human women too! teehee! isn’t everyone laughing! isn’t it so goofy!

[lauraciello]

I made a pride flag out of free bug stock photos.

Feel free to use it! 🌈🌈🌈🌈

[boiledegghole]

bringing this over from twitter bc this person literally gets it. watching su for the first time i was literally shocked by how wonderfully toxic the yuri was there. thank you women 🙏

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[allegedly-human]

I will. I WILL!!

[pangur-and-grim]

talking to offline friends about your online drama is good, because they’re like “not only does this not matter, but it’s actively pissing me off that you’re talking about this.” and then talking to hyper online friends is the opposite, because they’ll be like “omggg it was horrible, they dragged your corpse into the public square and everyone was taking turns pissing in your mouth!”

[pangur-and-grim]

and it's like, okay can you at least describe it in a way that isn't hot?