Scream @exhausted-exe - Tumblr Blog

mirdania

Obsessed with this French twink and the way he says “keesses”

whitebisexual

eez et becauze I ate ze lazt poptärt thees mo'ning??? :(

jonahmarshall-deactivated202206

i will never NOT reblog this

knifefightscene

stephenroot

one-time-i-dreamt

WHAT

ririazul

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

call that layin tailpipe

thetyrannosaur

cucked by a truck!

divorceddadrock

rattle-my-stars

maculategiraffe

Brew a pot of coffee, pour it into the blender, add honey, cinnamon and nutmeg (and a little bit of clove if you have it), your favorite non-dairy milk, and a couple of tablespoons of canned pumpkin. (US grocery stores have it year-round. It's in with the canned vegetables.) Blend till foam forms on top. Pour into a mug and sip.

500 times better than Starbucks pumpkin spice, plus it has nutrients, plus you don't have to wait for Starbucks to release anything, plus it's vegan,* plus you don't have to go to a coffee shop in a pandemic

*don't @ me about whether honey is vegan. Honeybees are better compensated for their labor than baristas

hazeldomain

Honeybees are better compensated for their labor than baristas

gdskfhdjksalfhkjladshfkjdsahfkjlads

tami-taylors-hair

Ya know how in Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan exists in all times at the same time? That’s what watching this felt like. I am both in 2020 and 2005. Who is this intrepid time traveler???

rthstewart

Someone on Twitter pointed out that apart from all the different elements, this is a master class in story telling and comedic timing.

byjove

I own a book that should not exist.

I collect old books. Mostly turn of the century stuff published between 1870 and 1920. My parents did too. They emassed a collection of books somewhere in the thousands. They got them out of abandoned houses, at auctions, as gifts and at every antique store on the east coast. My dad cleaned out his house after the divorce and I got some of the books. I planned to keep the good ones and hopefully sell some of the ones I didn’t have room for. For the past several days I have been researching the different titles and publishing dates to see how much they’re worth, usually it’s somewhere between $15-$50 so I’m not getting rich off it any time soon. I encountered this book:

Beautiful, right? Screams late Victorian period opulence. Definitely keeping it. I check for an owner’s name or little note on the title page, I love books that were Christmas gifts long ago. Instead I find this:

A gift for a student as an award for her academic success. From either 1875 or 1895. Very fucking cool. I search for the Chatsworth Institute of Baltimore Maryland in hopes that I am holding a significant piece of history in my hands. No such Institute has ever existed in Baltimore, none. Not historically, not currently. There is a Chatsworth school in Maryland but it’s a contemporary public school. I cannot find record of this school anywhere online, there is nothing left behind, it must have been a formal school to afford to give awards. There should be some trace of it. It’s like this book came from an alternate universe.

Let’s go to the title page:

Beautifully illustrated by a W Cunston or W Gunston. Neither name being up anyone. The name of the author of this book is nowhere to be seen. The publisher is London based and mostly published childrens books (including the words of Beatrice Potter) and that is the only concrete fact I can get. Googling “Eilon Manor” and “The Four Sisters” brings up very little. I sift and I find a book called Eilon Manor published in 1863. Like Baptista, it’s an incredibly boring piece of literature for Victorian young women. The author is listed as D. Richard, no first name, no gender, no location. D. Richard does not seem to exist either.

I cannot find any other copies of Baptista a Quiet Story. I cannot find D. Richard or W. Gunston. I cannot find a publishing date on this book. It is truly as though it slipped out from another parallel dimension.

byjove

Both of my parents confirmed they’ve never seen this book in their lives, it was not in the house when they moved in, they don’t remember buying it or rescuing it from an abandoned building. They have no idea where it came from. This is me right now:

winter-seance

Night at the Museum 2

maggins

whitepeopletwitter

schrodingers-anarchist

Villain: Dude, what about Frank?!

Hero: … who?

Villain: Frank! Franklin Jones! Wears my henchmen’s uniform, had the key to my door, GOT MURDERED BY SOME ASSHOLE TWO WEEKS BEFORE HIS KID’S BALLET RECITAL?!

Hero: … you know your henchmen’s names?

Villlain: OF COURSE I DO! I SEE THESE PEOPLE EVERY DAY! THEY’RE MY FRIENDS! What, you thought I just went to the fucking minion store and bought three hundred assistants?! People don’t work for evil overlords unless they really like the evil overlord!

Hero: Well, I mean, I though henchmen were just kinda… there?

Villain: … you thought Frank. Whom I entrusted with the key to my personal chamber. Who I named the godfather of my children. Was just. There.

Hero: YOU HAVE KIDS?!

Villain: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT?! WE’VE BEEEN NEMESI FOR DECADES!

Hero: WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT? YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE I WANT DEAD!

Villain: HOW AM I THE VILLAIN HERE?!

noctumsolis

whitepeopletwitter

tiktoksthataregood-ish

lotr-shitposts

thebutchriarchy-deactivated2019

Medusa with the Head of Perseus, Luciano Garbati, 2008

arbitraryimposition

I adore how she carries his head low, at her side, and not aloft in triumph. This is not a self-aggrandizing hero lauding her great deed. This is a woman who wanted to be left the fuck alone.

drunkenhills

Also look at her body. The double hips. The asymetrical boobs. She’s thin, but she’s realistic as hell. That’s a real woman.

And the look in her eyes. Damn.

marlene

I originally saw photos of Garbati’s Medusa a long time ago, but I specifically remember this post from earlier this year. Medusa was one of those pieces that really buried into my head and heart. Sounds silly, but just looking at it gives me strength.

Today I was lucky enough to see it in person. She’s incredible. And, something that the original pictures don’t show— she’s HUGE!

heroineimages

I love this even better now that we can see the baffled look on Perseus’s face.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

I am here for this :D

spooky-eeee

if apex ever did killcams the people i kill would be asking themselves how they could get killed by a trash player like me

like imagine watching a killcam of someone just spraying a devotion and trying to melee at the same time i would go wild

1ightly

this is what friendship between bisexuals is like

laughconfetti

I’m smiling so much rn

mrdsc1010

Honestly, they would make cute couple.

ororomunroedontpullout

The rituals…they are intricate

kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd

it's 2022. donald trump has died in disgrace days after being impeached and jailed. my chemical romance's new album is coming out the same day as the new spiderverse movie. the lizzo and janelle monaé collab song is blowing up the radio. lil nas x has a verse in it. you and your partner have time and energy for dates after work after jeff bezos' assets have been seized and distributed to the public in the wake of his arrest for keeping employees in unsafe working conditions.