vwrtlz

it's about the piles

[egax]

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

[freefitty]

literally has been in my queue for an entire year. you just can’t miss reblogging.

[manypersons]

gotta queue this for next year too

[crtter]

I mean, Josef Mеngеlе DID die here. Like, that’s something that happened. You know, the piece of shit Nаzі ““doctor”” who experimented on people? His bones are here. We’re using him as a practice skeleton for forensic medicine students at the University of São Paulo. I’m 100% serious.

[crtter]

For the record! We’re not fucking around with his bones just because. Technically, they should be given to his living relatives, but they really, REALLY don’t want him. Like, we’ve been asking them if we can mail him to them ever since he was identified in the 90s, and every time they’re like “hell no, fuck that guy” which is understandable but now we’re at this standstill in case a family member eventually does want him back, and we’re absolutely NOT burying a nаzі all nice and cozy in our soil if we can help it. So I guess it was decided that the best course of action was to fuck around with his bones. In the name of education.

[loth-caatgirl]

[anarcho-gamerist]

Cant be considered a win since brazil gave him and thousands of other nazis sanctuary in the first place. Oh he died there? How did he get there ????

[crtter]

Well, gee! I have NO idea. You see, us third-worlders aren’t too smart! That’s why we need you, brave internet people who have never set a foot here, to teach us about our own history! I always thought that the Nazi ratlines into South America were organized by this Argentinian Nazi sympathizer millionaire who gave a fortune to the political campaign of the future dictator of Argentina in exchange for him to turn a blind eye to war criminals being smuggled into the continent, but I suppose I was wrong! Maybe our government just decided to give Nazis a warm welcome and cushy government science or engineering jobs and never try them for their crim-

*presses fingers to earpiece* What’s that? Operation? Paperclip? What are you talking ab- huh. I see! Turns out it was a different country that did that. Whaddaya know!

[blumineck]

Putting the “arch” into “archery”

more of all this nonsense on Patreon

[blumineck]

Good to know tumblr is feeling very Normal about this video and the information it contains.

[sexboobomb]

I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.

What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?

[sexboobomb]

first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you

[sexboobomb]

ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually

[mbrainspaz]

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

[foldingfittedsheets]

@chekhovs-tantrum

Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

- Jumpin' Jehosaphat!

- Mother Russia! (my boss uses this as a work-safe version of "motherfucker"and it's infiltrated my lexicon)

- GOD-[pause]-BLESS AMERICA (my dad used to say that a lot before remembering he wasn't supposed to swear in front of little kids. Or maybe he knew that we knew what he wanted to say and just thought it was funny to leave us hanging because we operated on the "if Mom and Dad swear we can say whatever we want" rule at home and we would all just randomly start yelling individual unconnected swear words)

- Goldurnit! (Dunno which vaguely rednecky cartoon character said this, but I always use this as a folksy unserious way of cursing)

- well [physical contact] my [body part] and call me [woman's name]! (also my dad, expressing disbelief) For example, "well pick my nose and call me Martha!"

- Son of a diddly! (shoutout to Ned Flanders)

- That's not gone well. (Top Gear)

- Permission to say "oh, cock." (Also Top Gear)

- Oh, my giddy aunt! (Yet more Top Gear)

- Bloody Nora! (Actually, James May specifically is just full of these slightly stuffy and extremely English exclamations)

- What the shit! (Archer)

- Shit off! (The Mighty Boosh)

- Conflammit! (invented out of whole cloth by my friend Tom while we were tripping on acid)

- OH MY GEEEEEEEED (middle school Christian friends who wouldn't say "oh my god" but wanted a funnier thing to say than "gosh")

- Ow, my spleen! (A different middle school friend, whenever he was hit anywhere with any amount of force)

[yesornopolls]

should i drop out of college/medically withdraw ? im genuinely really enjoying what im doing but recently my illness has come back intensely again. i puke up almost everything I eat, i faint frequently, im exhausted and shaky all the time etc. im having a hard time studying and ive been having to skip class. we've never figured out whats wrong with me, and it went semi into remission for a year so i started college. but now i seem to be getting ill again :(

medical withdrawal would mean my grades would essentially be wiped clean and i could reenter college when im physically capable without many issues

do what you need to do for your health

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

Taking a medical withdrawal is much better than failing your classes because you're too sick to keep up!

[yesornopolls]

Is making sexual songs using Hatsune Miku pedophilic because Miku's official age is 16? (This is a real argument somebody made to me.)

Is making sexual songs using Hatsune Miku pedophilic because Miku's official age is 16?

Yes

No

Voting ended onApr 4

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

I am begging some people on the internet to find more important things to care about

[mithli-archive]

[wolfsteax]

Some of y'all need to understand this isn't about blowing up countries with the giant red button, it's about abolishing tyrannical and oppressive governments that go by the names of the land they hold hostage.

[mr-deep-downer]

meanwhile on Twitter

you could make the argument that it’s foolish that everyone in the world should know what the Odyssey is but if you’re from a western country that literally has Greek history stolen away in your museum then well, really a child left behind.

[mr-deep-downer]

Greek Architectural Treasures in the British Museum

Greek Architectural Treasures in the British Museum

“The world doesn’t revolve around America” the illiad was actually a pseudo historical/mythological text about the first game of baseball

[thedragonitus]

Its a metaphor for the drive through

[sauteedkapi]

I dunno what you guys are talking about, seems pretty American to me.

[mr-deep-downer]

only 8 dollars and 12 cents huh? What the fuck was Odysseus problem then

[thatiswhy]

there was road work

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

Also the dollar hadn't been invented yet. Demetrios Tollbooth was WAY ahead of his time

[newvegascowboy]

"Tumblr is my bedroom" this "tumblr is a pinboard" that

Tumblr is an apartment complex with thin walls and every so often you just have to listen to your neighbors say the most deranged shit imaginable

[bingomann]

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

making the radical claim "11 year old children should be taught how to make extremely simple food" has resulted in people making arguments like "I wasnt allowed to plug in electronics until I was 16 and I think this is super normal actually" and "children dont know what ratios are so its unfair to expect them to be able to comprehend the idea of adding equal amounts rice and water to a rice cooker" and I gotta say originally I thought maybe I was being too judgy but now I feel very secure in my opinion because what the fuck

[hannah-snow]

Children might not know what ratios are in the sense of 1:1 notation, but they are more than capable of understanding 'you have to use the same amount of water and rice otherwise it goes wrong'.

[hannah-snow]

In addition to this, cooking is an excellent way to teach children scaling and ratio in Real Life.

[ohifonlyx33]

"Children don't understand-" AND THAT'S WHY IT IS YOUR JOB TO TEACH THEM????? LIKE HELLO??? THEY CAN LEARN??????

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

"I don't let my children do things because I refuse to parent them by any method besides yelling at them for incorrectly performing tasks that I refused to teach them"

[nabakovian]

i'm sorry i don't know the source of this because it was posted on reddit without credit but i'm obsessed with this

[guerrillatech]

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

Holy shit that's so cool

[knightofleo]

[beckiboos]

Finally “do you love the colour of the sky” got compressed for our convenience

[kandykittixd]

This is now my favorite photo

[realm-of-clouds]

Cloud spotted

[the-one-and-only-vic-lociraptor]

Cool shit!

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[fool-counter]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

fool count: 2

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the older i get, the more i appreciate the competency and cooperativeness of those politicians who got together to kill caesar 

[byjove]

unfortunately I have idgaf autism instead of I’m upset autism so I handle a lot of situations incorrectly by not giving a fuck when it should upset me

[byjove]

going into any situation about to massively under react to important things and massively overreact to very trivial things

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

And sometimes I don't know which is which until I realize I've been feeling Off and Vaguely Shitty for several days in a row without knowing why and then suddenly I realize I'm actually furious about something that it's now too late to address

[byjove]

unfortunately I have idgaf autism instead of I’m upset autism so I handle a lot of situations incorrectly by not giving a fuck when it should upset me

[byjove]

going into any situation about to massively under react to important things and massively overreact to very trivial things

[mioxenoblade]

🍜🍥🍜

[ghost-mantis]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post