Kingdom Hearts characters as things I’ve heard at the first week of each of my high school years
Vanitas: sorry, but in case you haven’t noticed, i’ve been an asshole for 4 years. it took you 4 years to notice. so, who’s the REAL asshole now?!
Xehanort: i realize we don’t have air conditioning. believe me, it is not a plot to kill you all, no matter what anyone else says. *shifty eye glance at the computer on his desk*
Xion: i snuck a cat in my hoodie, help me get off campus to protect him, his name is elvis *soft meow from the hoodie*
Kairi: I’d willingly give everyone a hug, since I know a lot of us need one, but I’m afraid one of you would stab me in the back if I tried, so I’ll refrain from doing it. (a student said this)
Riku: Not to be gay, but I love Sora. No homo though. *proceeds to hug Sora and says how much he loves him*
Riku: *sees Sora while walking around during lunch later in the day* FUCK IT, IM GAY
Roxas: yall just wanna be the same forever but sometimes, a fucker needs to EVOLVE. come on, stop pressing the b button whenever i get close. i wanna be DRAGONITE! NOW!!
Namine: *starting a drawing* alright i got this
Namine: *drops her pencil and holds her head in her hands* why did i draw the okay hand emoji
Aqua: *is asked who’s the oldest in her group of friends, she raises her hand and says she’s a senior, gets declared the group mom* okay but im not responsible for any dumb shit yall do, my expertise is bad jokes and moral support
Sora: *squinting eyes at the early 2000′s TV across the classroom, tryna take notes on the crappy school laptops* guy where’s the google button
Terra: *talking to his entire math class* last year, you guys may have noticed a substantial drop in all your grades. well, that was my fault, i got 105% on the final and i fuckin aced it. how’s it feel
(i’ll be honest, this one was told to me, i have no idea if it actually happened like that, but it’s pretty believable)
Ventus: who’s birthday is when and what is your favourite video game. i need to be prepared for this shit.
Axel: *notices anyone that looks remotely gay* HEY, YOU! YOU LOOK GAY, WANNA HANG OUT WITH US?
Saix: *watching Axel call to the gay people and silently drinks his water bottle* this is the guy i chose, huh
Rikuplica: *that one person that had to check their twin’s facebook profile to check what their favourite band was so the icebreaker activity could continue*
Larxene: I know I’m a bitch, but at least I watch something BESIDES Keeping up with the Kardashians…. Yeah, that’s right. I WATCH ONCE UPON A TIME.
Marluxia: i like… really wanna make a club. but not a club with a purpose, just a really big club. we’ll be small at first, but we’ll slowly draft in members. it’s a club that does nothing, there isn’t exactly a reason to AVOID the club. your friend will join it and then so will you cause i mean, why not join this club. one day ill call a meeting and everyone in school will be there. and ill say one word that’ll send everyone running over those chain-link fences… “SCATTER!”
Luxord: im not supposed to gamble for anything, no matter my odds… but damn it those silly bands look cooooool
Demyx: *loud trumpet noises coming from the band room* WE! ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS! *trombone noise* WE’LL ALWAYS SAVE THE DAY! *cymbal crash*
Vexen: so everyone in here knows how a gas lit flame works right? and how to handle the safety? no one? alright kids, light your matches and put your goggles on, science is about to go down and it has a high percentage chance of burning us alive
Zexion: OKAY, I KNOW POKEMON IS A WAY MORE POPULAR FRANCHISE BUT DID THE CREATORS OF YU-GI-OH SERIOUSLY MISS OUT ON THAT MOBILE SEARCHING DEVICE TREND. COME ON, YU-GI-GO IS THE BEST FUCKIN NAME EVER WHY DO I LIVE IN THIS SOCIETY
Lexaues: my name is lexaues, and i play varsity football…. *waits for someone to comment but inevitably no one replies* VARSITY FOOTBA-
(im pretty sure this was just a vine quote but i overheard it and snickered)
Xaldin: if i had a knife for every time i wanted to kill myself, im pretty sure i wouldve done it right then and there, like seriously thank god knives dont just spawn when i get suicidal, can you imagine-
Xigbar: why the fuck did they announce “cinnamon rolls in the cafeteria but only for the teachers and staff” like do they not realize that im going to march through hell to get to those rolls, fuckin idiots
Ansem: *the principal trying to read announcements to the school over the comms and a kid yells “FUCK” in the background*
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