Extremes of Mediocrity

Superbly mediocre

[tremblegay]

it’s oingo or be boingo’d on this bitch of an earth

[zurin]

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[tlirsgender]

I think it's cute when depictions of our solar system include earth's moon. Like yeah sure the moon's invited. We just like her

[tlirsgender]

Like simplified models that don't have Literally Everything just the planets. And our moon #OurMoon

[notgreatbob]

''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments

[callmezeemonic]

You did the best you could with all you had and knew. That was then. Here is now

[castaras]

prev tags correct

[depsidase]

[raindropcascade]

@isuggesteatingtherich

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

tv show like grey's anatomy except they're veterinarians. all the soap opera drama but there's creatures all over the place. "is that a gerbil on your scrubs or are you just excited to see me" but it's actually the gerbil, he's a patient and we can't be having sex right now.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the characters still wax poetic via voiceover about how the surgery of the day is just like their own tumultuous personal lives but the surgery in question is like. neutering a bunch of kittens.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

which is of course exactly like Dr. Riverbeans trying to decide if he wants to be a father. it's such a huge decision, and he just doesn't know what to do! if only someone had made the decision for him by gently anesthetizing him as a child and fucking. cutting his balls off.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

little does he know that his girlfriend, hot livestock veterinarian Dr. Josta, is about to get kicked in the head by a horse patient so hard that she's in a coma for months because the actress needs time away to film a supporting role in the new live action polly pocket movie

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

meanwhile veterinary assistant Hermione (no relation to the wizard character) is desperately trying to hide the fact that her current love interest is a man who practices and unironically believes in "pet reiki" because her coworkers would never let her live it down

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I want big drama for the humans but I don't want to get super emo with the animals, so this takes place in the most successful veterinary practice and no animals ever actually die during the episodes. we can get silly with it. Dr. Spud has a case with a great dane who swallowed a lit stick of dynamite and we see them later looking like a looney toon post-explosion grinning ear to ear and letting us know the dog was fine

[videolottery]

Someone should make a disco elysium spiritual successor that takes place in a maze and follows a protagonist who has to eat all the dots in the maze whilst avoiding several ghosts

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[charlesoberonn]

Female Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beard

Remaining time: 5 days 7 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Child Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 5 days 7 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 5 days 7 hours

[charlesoberonn]

They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.

[2birds1pencil]

*insert piping plover emojis here*

[arthur-dentist]

I'm literally working outside of work hours rn (taking a lil break) to enter plover data bc these little buggers are so busy rn I spend all of my time in the field

[isaacsapphire]

I adore that this got in front of someone who was indeed working plovertime.

[gayskrillex]

No one wants to admit this but you don’t actually have to eat eggs and dairy for breakfast. Farmers just did that because they’d milk the cows and collect eggs in the morning. You can literally make a sandwich or a bowl of pasta or really anything you want for breakfast. There isn’t some medical reason you have to eat cereal and milk or fried eggs in the morning—our idea of “breakfast food” is an entirely artificial construct. Do what makes you happy.

[squagel]

Literally just eat something (or have a smoothie if you don't want solid food). Skipping breakfast entirely is worse for your body than having the "wrong" food.

[creekfiend]

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

Hello.

[creekfiend]

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

I can go upside down.

[creekfiend]

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU

[blackjame]

[stuffman-main]

imagine if you will, a fairly dry survival crafting game in which you live in a bunker and must periodically venture out to scavenge food, set up turrets for attacking monsters, etc

now, your computer inside the bunker has a game-inside-a-game on it which is a charming farming sim of undeniably greater quality and scope than the survival game you're playing. therefore, the object of the game becomes to keep your bunker secure so you can play the farming game more.

now, once you achieve the highest rating in the farming game, a secret shop inside it unlocks, and one of the novelty items you can purchase is a game console, giving you access to games-inside-a-game-inside-a-game. most of the games for it are typical mobile shovelware, but one of them is a highly polished, extremely brutal precision platformer with amazing level design and production values exceeding that of the survival game and farming sim combined.

it is only at this point that the purpose of this entire contrivance becomes clear: to create the most deranged speedrun community the world has ever seen.

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[i-am-a-fish]

they should teach useful skills in school like home economics and how to safely pirate media

[i-am-a-fish]

all I learned there was that the homunculus was the powerhouse of the cell I had to learn everything else myself