Exvangelical Christian

Just an exvangelical queer adult trying to navigate their religious trauma while still being a christian. Pronouns She/they. This blog is 18+.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Seven Things You Should Know Right Up Front

This blog is 18+.

This is not my main. (My main Is Wardrobe Warrior)

I intend to discuss religion frequently on this blog, both positively and negatively.

I am a Queer Christian. There will be queer/Pride content, there will be Christian content, and there will be content that overlaps. If that is a problem for you this is not the place for you.

I am Demiromantic, Bisexual, and Genderqueer. My pronouns are she/they.

Both my collar and my politics are quite blue. It will likely show. Especially as I am starting this blog in an election year.

I want this to be a safe place, especially for religious queers, but in order to keep it safe I will not tolerate hate. I am willing to use my block button quite liberally if necessary.

[giulscomix]

I had the need to give my contribution to kick Valentino's ass badly saga, and the last line.. "Jesus!" "Not quite." from Lucifer tv show season 4 I thought would have fit so well 🤣😈🔥

❗My COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN ❗

If interested, please send me a mail for more infos on prices: 📩 [email protected]

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Love Luci in full dad mode

[analog-knight]

Kind of tired of churches over-emphasizing the same, like, 3 sins: "Don't be gay, don't have premarital sex, don't have an abortion".

I want something new for them to fixate on, something fresh and never done before.

I want them to declare that having a Tesla is a sin. And if you have a Cybertruck? You're speed-running going to hell, actually.

(I could go more in-depth about capitalism being a tool of the devil, along with obscene displays of wealth, but I'll do that later. Also, this is a lil jokey-joke, but also not really, i hate Teslas/Cybertrucks)

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Or, here's one that wouldn't even be that major of a shift, "Cheating is a sin." It's literally number 7 in the ten commandments these churches are absolutely in love with. And there is a crap ton of SUPER CLEAR biblical texts regarding it (unlike certain other issues they give every single sliver of their attention to).

[strch4sm]

Saw this on Twitter and thought it'd be funny to draw this

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Oh look it's me.

Another variation is "Afraid of being abandoned? Literally hides in bedroom every possible minute."

Blitz and I need therapy badly. And also medication, which I'm definitely on. I'm on so many meds

[triona-tribblescore]

Once again drawing these two silly because i miss them-

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Husk, if you're gonna date a femme boy twink, this is just good boyfriend behavior.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

TW Abuse, Particularly S3xu@l abuse, 18+

In case the tw didn't give it away this post is gonna be a bit heavy.

There are many, many portrayals of s3xu@l abuse in media. As a writer, I have characters who have suffered from it in some of my WIPs too (One of my WIPs literally has a major focus on healing from trauma/abuse). It's a serious and important topic and should be written about, so long as it is treated appropriately. Some media (I'm looking at you, Game of Thrones) has developed a notoriety for not treating the subject appropriately. And as someone who watches older TV shows and movies sometimes, I have noticed an uncomfortable amount of jokes regarding, women not being safe alone with men. Sometimes it's even written in a way that romanticizes it.

One thing I really, really appreciate about Hazbin Hotel is how it treats Angel's "relationship" with Val. First off most of the time when we see, really any kind, of abuse in the media, the victim is a woman or child. When the victim is a man, the abuse is often hardly even acknowledged as abuse, especially if that abuse is s3xu@l. Angel's abuse is not only acknowledged to be abuse, but is treated with very warranted gravity, both by the narrative and the other characters. Angel's friends don't blame him, in fact they try to show him how much they care for and support him, in their own unique ways. Even if their ways of "helping" aren't necessarily helpful (Yes, I'm talking about Cherri Bomb), they are trying. They are there for him.

Representation isn't always about demographics, sometimes it's about situations too. Stories are our guidebooks, and have been so throughout history (Look at "Aesop's Fables" or the "Child's book of Virtues"). If our stories portray something as a joke it will be treated as a joke. If our stories portray something as only happening to one demographic, we will assume it really only happens to that one demographic. If we portray something as a serious issue to be handled with gravity, that is how we'll handle it as a culture. If we want to change the world we have to change the narrative too.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Okay. Am I late to the party? Yes, I usually am. Is it possible I posted about this before and forgot? Also yes. My memory is terrible. I decided to reblog my previous post with this because, I feel it's all very related.

I have seen things saying Hazbin, specifically the song Poison, glamorizing. and romanticing Val and Angel's relationship. I disagree vehemently with this. The show does not romanticize it at all. Angel Dust does. Poison is from Angel's point of view. One of his coping mechanisms, as we see time and time again is romanticizing and glamorizing his situation. He does it over and over and over. In "Addict" he actually says, "This is the mantra. This is my life."

Do "Poison" and "Addict" romanticize and glamorize things a bit? Of course they do. Again, they are from Angel's POV. That is his desperate bid for sanity and survival. BUT "Poison" and "Addict" also draw the distinct comparison between reality and Angel's story that he tells himself and others. "Poison" particularly highlights that even Angel sees the truth.

"What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself."

" My story is going to end with me dead from your poison."

"Poison, I'm drowning in poison. I'm filling up my glass, but it's always hollow. Full of poison. I'm sick of the poison. Wish I had something to live for tomorrow."

That's despair. Plain and simple.

"Poison" has so many layers and I personally believe it's one of the most critical parts of the show. Without Poison, "Loser Baby" is just another catchy song. "Poison" let's us into Angel's life, so we can appreciate his growth. I would say both "Addict" and "Poison" need to be watched and listened to multiple times because of all the layers. Both the visuals and the lyrics of the songs are so important.

But even separate from the songs, there are two main things that, I feel, make it evident that the narrative doesn't glamorize the abuse.

One is the reaction of the other characters. They never romanticize it. Even Vox doesn't romanticize it, and he's "on Val's side" sort of.

Secondly, Val is never portrayed as a sympathetic character. As someone with a familiarity with a variety of stories, spanning different genres, and as someone who has taken writing classes and likes to consider themselves a writer, and as someone who is a sucker for a redemption arc and a sympathetic antagonist, there are a few patterns that tend to be followed when you're trying to make a messed up character liked by the audience. To name a few:

A tragic backstory.

They're trying to turn over a new leaf.

They're simply misunderstood.

Another person (usually their love interest) can "fix" them.

Right thing for the wrong reasons.

Wrong thing for the right reasons.

A danger to everyone but their love interest.

I have not seen any of this with Val. Not once. Even Angel always does his best to protect and keep the the others away from Val. We see this starting in episode 2, long before "Poison."

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

I'm so glad tax season is almost over. I am really sick of tax filing ads. Because not only are they annoying, i watch some stuff for escapism. I understand that I may need to watch ads, but can they be like for toilet paper or something, rather than anxiety causing escapism destroying things. Seriously? I'm trying not to think about taxes or politics. Please don't put ads about taxes or politics on EVERYthing especially clearly escapist stuff. Although the worst one was that "we're all in this together" COVID-19 thing that was always playing in 2020. Truly just let me forget about the dumpster fire for thirty minutes to an hour, please.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Not to be that person, but I am seriously on the struggle bus financially. I have been using some of those get paid to play apps I have found that actually do pay out, and most of them have a referral program, so if anyone would be willing to help me out by letting me refer you, that would be great.

I put the links in the comments (wardrobe warrior is also me).

Also, if any of y'all have links, please feel free to share them. This is a rough time for everybody.

[wardrobe-warrior]

There is no Heterosexual explanation for David and Jonathan

1 Samuel 18: 1

"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."

(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Samuel%2018%3A1-11&version=ESV)

I'm sorry, soulmates?

2 Samuel 1:26

"I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me;     your love to me was extraordinary,     surpassing the love of women."

(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Samuel%201%3A26&version=ESV)

That last line there is so definitley straight. I can think of no straighter thing to say.

Which passage is gayer

The soulmates verse (1 Samuel 18:1)

Or the "surpassing the love of women" verse (2 Samuel 1:26)

Both these verses are equally gay

Both these verses are completely and totally straight

Voting ended onJan 26, 2025

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

(Reblogging from my main)

I was spending time in the word today, like a good little christian. I was looking up the story of David and Jonathan. A story which already is suspiciously not straight, but then I found these bad boys.

I'm not saying they were gay lovers, maybe it was more of a QPR, but this ain't straight.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

My reaction to the election

TW Swearing and religion Me (trying to stay calm): *Singing/praying* You're a good good father. But what the fuck?!? What the fuck!?!

[incognitopolls]

Have you ever held a full, face-to-face conversation with a black person?

Yes, many times

Yes, once or twice

I can't remember, but probably yes

I can't remember, but probably no

No

Voting ended onAug 14, 2024

Only count proper, in-person conversations– for the purposes of this poll, don't count things like routine customer service interactions, attending a lecture given by a black professor, or talking with online friends.

Anon is asking this because they're from a country that is pretty homogeneous, and they haven't interacted with very many people of colour outside of the internet. Polls on here frequently show that tumblr is predominantly white, so they're curious if their experience is at all common.

From pollmonger: reminder to be polite. The homogeneity of a country or region is not an individual person's moral failing.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Like 30 seconds ago.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Shoulder Buddies: Introduction pt. 2

TW relationship drama and discussion of sex.

Natalie (She/her)

Disclaimer (doubles as the master post)

“Really this is how we're starting our morning, again?” grumbled someone right in my ear.

“Good morning to you too, Lute.” I muttered.

“Jill’s door is closed, at least.” Charlie said from my other shoulder.

“At least if Crowley got ‘im, we wouldn’t keep having to chase the furry attention whore around all the time.” Lute grumbled

How is this my angel? I wondered, although I too was tired of chasing Peep around, but feeding him to my ex’s ball python seemed more than a little extreme.

“Seriously? Fuck you, Lute!” Charlie shouted at her, her horns showing up for half a second. Apparently she was a little on edge this morning. I made a mental note to check on her when I had a moment.

 “Enough you two.” I scolded, kneeling  down and looking under the couch.

I could see Tracey’s lavender hair almost directly across from me on the other side of the couch.

Man, is it dirty under here. Who’s turn is it to vacuu- or right, mine. It took me a minute to find him. It didn’t help that he kinda blended in, with his white back half almost looking like the dust bunnies, I needed to vacuum up, and his black front half blending in with the shadow. But I finally found the rascal. I thought that might just be able to reach his long pink tail. I made a grab for it.

He ran out from under the couch, and into my room.

“Dang it.” I shouted.

Charlie and Lute both made similar, although more colorful, exclamations.

“Gosh fucking dang it. You stupid rat.” Tracey practically growled, as they stood up.

We had just made it to the door when my pure cat, Azi, came out carrying a squirming Peep in her mouth like he was a naughty kitten, which I think is what she thinks he is. She padded over to Tracey, gave them a very unimpressed look, and dropped Peep at their feet.

Trace scooped up their rat up before he had a chance to run again. “Bad rat. Very, very naughty. You’re gonna give Mommy a heart attack. You know that? Gorrammit, you dumb ass rat.” Tracey chastised him, all the way back to their room.

Azi rubbed up against my legs, meowing.

I squatted down and pet her. “You're a good girl, aren't you? Such a good girl.”

“A very good girl.” Charlie agreed, jumping on Azi’s head and scratching her behind the ears. Charlie’s red suit made Azi’s already bright white fur, somehow, seem even whiter.

She purred as we pet her.

A moment later I stood up,  “Time for breakfast, Azi Razzi.” She padded behind me as I walked to the kitchen. Charlie, rode on Azi’s head. I pulled the cat food out of the cupboard under the sink, poured some in Azi’s bowl, and then finally set it on the pet food mat, next to the refrigerator. I checked to make sure the water bowl was still sufficiently full. It was. Then I washed my hands and got back to making breakfast for us humans.

“Charlie, are you doing okay?” I asked my demon, who was standing on Azi’s back, knee deep in white fur.

Charlie laughed in a very not okay way. “Not really.”

“No shit.” Lute said.

“Lute,” I said, “Shut up.”

“Charlie, what going on?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine.”

“Charlie-”

“It’s no big deal. Just a little blip. It’ll be fine.”

“Sure it will.” Lute taunted. “Her girlfriend lied to her.” Lute whispered.

Charlie is dating Robin’s shoulder angel Vaggie.

“Fuck you, Lute!” Charlie’s horns came out again.

“Okay, okay.” I interrupted, “Lute, she’s right, this doesn’t concern you.” I turned to Charlie, “Do you wanna talk?”

“Not yet.”

“Fair enough.” I poured the first pancake on the skillet.

Tracey, now dressed in their work uniform, a red and blue striped shirt and jeans, came back out of their room right about then. Emily had gotten her feathers in order too.

I heard Jill’s alarm go off.

I finished pouring the first batch. “Trace can you get the syrup and such on the table?” I have four skillets I use. The two big ones can fit two, or sometimes three pancakes, the others can fit one (I usually make about 3 batches).

“Sure.” Tracey answered

Charlie was quiet.

Emily suddenly appeared on my shoulder and gave Charlie a hug.

About midway through the second batch, I heard Jill’s door open.

“Morning, Jill.” I said, glancing up.

Stu, Jill’s mobility dog, was opening zier door.

Jill followed him, using zier crutches. “Morning, Nat.”

“Steph, still here?”

Jill’s face went red as a strawberry, as did the face of zier angel, Sir Pentious. “You heard us?”

“Yes.”

I saw Sir Pentious pull his hat down over his face.

“We both did. ” Tracey said.

Jill’s face went an even deeper red.

“I think the whole apartment complex did.” Lute muttered

I could sugge-” I heard Fizz start to say, right before Emily suddenly appeared behind him and clamped her hands over his mouth.

Jill didn't hear them.  Jill can only see and hear zier own shoulder buddies, which is more than most people can do. It’s kinda sad really.

But Sir Pentious heard Fizz and Lute. He flared his hood for a second, then coiled up so tight he was almost a perfect sphere.

Jill’s shoulder devil, Cherri Bomb, rolled her eyes, “Whatever, loser,” she said giving me an exasperated look. “Though I don't see how you think you can judge, as I recall you're not exactly quiet yourself.

 My face suddenly felt very hot.

Jill’s face went even redder.

Tracey turned and walked quickly back to their room. Smart choice.

I turned my focus back on breakfast, “You could’ve invited her to stay for breakfast.” I said, “After all you’re dating not hooking up.”

“Nat!” Charlie exclaimed.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lute smirking.

“You just said you were mad I had her over.”

“First off, I did not say that.”

“You kinda did.” Lute snorted.

I ignored her, “I just said I could hear you.  Secondly, I’m still friends with both your dumb asses and, we‘ve been over this before, I don’t care that you’re dating, Steph. However, I don’t know many people who want to hear other people’s… activities, and I’ve dated, and slept, with you both, so it’s doubly awkward.” I flipped the pancakes.

“Prude.” Cherri scoffed.

“How am I being a prude?” I practically shouted back.

Jill jumped and zier blue eye’s got big. Ze knows I can see zier buddies, but I’m not usually this open about it with zier, because ze finds it a bit off putting.

“I am not into voyeurism, Cherri.” I continued, “And I don’t think not wanting to hear my exes bang each other is unreasonable.”

“We’ll try to be quieter going forward.”

“Thank you. That's all I'm asking.”

Cherri rolled her eyes and flipped me off.

Lute returned the gesture.

Charlie looked like she wanted to die, which was kinda how I felt too.

Their was an awkward silence, as Jill came into the kitchen and fed Stu.

“I’ll tell Tracey it's safe to come out now.” Using zier crutches Jill went over and knocked on Tracey’s door. “Coast is clear.” Ze joked, laughing awkwardly.

Part 1

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Shoulder Buddies: Introduction pt. 1

Disclaimer

Tracey (She/They)

Skreee, skreek, skreech.

I groaned, waking up to the sound of metal scraping against metal.

Oil, I need to buy oil for that stupid rat wheel. I thought, rolling over.

Skreech, squeal, skreeeeeeee.  The  squeaking continued, as one of my rats, Peepicheep, ran on the wheel in his cage.

At the same time ever morning -give or take around 15 minutes- he would start running full force on that stupid fucking wheel. It didn’t matter how much I oiled it, it still made an infernal racket, but it was worse than usual today. I have tried taking it out before, that just resulted in more problems.

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooot! A loud horn blared directly in my left ear.

I sat bolt upright, “FIZZAROLLI!!!”

“Yeeees.” Smirked the tiny clown, no bigger than my thumb, who was standing on my pillow. He was holding an even tinier airhorn (The airhorn’s size did not seem to matter. It was just as loud as any other one I’ve ever heard).

I glared at him and picked him up with the tips of my forefinger and thumb, then set him gently on my left shoulder.

“Sleep well?” He asked

“Shut up, jester. Where’s Emily?” I asked getting out of bed and walking over to my rat’s cage.

“Feathers? She was still sleeping last I saw.”

No great shock there. “Great.” I scowled. To anyone who wonders why I’m a grump in the morning, it might have something to do with my shoulder devil being a very… exuberant morning person, and my shoulder angel not being a morning person at all.

I opened my rats’ cage. Peepicheep was still running on his wheel. I gently picked him up off of it. Reepicheep, my service rat came out from he and Peep’s sleeping den. Reep is specially trained to help with my PTSD. I picked him up with my other hand, then I set my rats on my right shoulder, and examined their cage. I chattered at them a bit as I did so, and they squeaked back. Everything looked good, although, as usual, I would need to fill their water bottle before I left for work. I put them back in and fed them their breakfast.

I took their water bottle and went to fill it up and wash my hands in the bathroom.

Fizz blabbered at me.

I tuned him out.  I needed to focus on finishing taking care of my two fur babies, and Fizz had a way of derailing my progress.

On my way to the bathroom, I saw one of my roommates, Natalie, in the kitchen.

 “Morning, Trace.” She whisper called, so as not to wake our other roommates

Jill and Robin weren't up yet, no surprise there either. Robin works nights, and based on what I had the misfortune of hearing last night, I don't think Jill got much sleep.

“Morning, Nat.”

“How are Reep and Peep this morning?”

“Same as always.”

“Morning Fizz.” Nat said

Fizz looked over at her.  “Morning, Nat.”  He disappeared from my shoulder and I knew he had gone over to talk to Natalie.

I walked off. He’d teleport back over to me when he wanted to.

After I washed my hands.  I filled up my rats’ bottle. Then I went and reattached it to their cage, as they munched contentedly on their breakfast. I made sure everything was secure then walked out to the kitchen.

“The coffee should be ready here soon.” Natalie told me.

“Thank you.”

As I walked by, Fizz jumped from her shoulder back to mine.

“Hi, Charlie.” I greeted Nat’s shoulder devil.

“Good morning, Tracey.”

I yawned, as I got my mug out and started putting my milk and such in my cup. Unless I’m out and about when I make my coffee, I tend to use milk instead of creamer.

Fizz appeared on the counter next to my cup, drinking from a full cup of coffee he had not had a second before.

Nat hummed as she made breakfast, pancakes from the look of it. She is the only morning person in the apartment, if we’re only counting humans that is. Jill and I can function in the morning, I guess, but we aren’t morning people at all, and Robin isn’t even always up by the time the rest of us leave for work. When we divvied out chores, Nat volunteered to make breakfast and coffee in the morning. Jill and I didn’t turn her down, as the only thing either of us would be up or alert early enough to make is, well, coffee and a bowl of cereal. Robin doesn’t really eat breakfast, but volunteered to do the breakfast dishes anyway, as they leave for work way later than the rest of us.

“Where’s Lute?” I asked Nat. Lute’s her shoulder angel, although in my opinion Lute and Charlie should switch, but nobody asked me.

“Haven’t seen her yet.” Nat shrugged. “I’m okay with that.”

I see Charlie nod. There are not many people Charlie doesn’t like, but Lute is one of them.

“I see Emily’s not up yet.” Nat teased.

“She rarely shows before coffee,” I said, “And you know that.”

“What is it with our angels?” Nat laughed.

I shrugged, zoning out a bit.

I don’t like being up this early, and if it wasn’t for Peep I definitely wouldn’t be, but there is one perk, talking to Natalie. She’s the only person that I know (except kids who are like 5 and younger), who can also see other people’s shoulder angels and demons, or “shoulder buddies”, as Nat often calls them.

“Coffee’s ready, sleepy head.” Nat said, waving her hand in front of my face.

“Huh? Oh, thanks.”

 I went and poured myself a cup. Almost a soon as I took my first sip, I felt a brush of soft feathers against my neck. “Morning, Em.” I said.

“Morning Tracey.” I heard Emily yawn.

Fizz disappeared from the counter, and I felt him rematerialize on my shoulder.  “Morning, Feathers.” Fizz called to Emily cheerfully. I'm pretty sure he gave her the nick name because of how fluffy and all over the place her feathers are in the morning. I guess it's the angel version of bed head.

I heard Emily yawn out a greeting to Fizz.

I saw Charlie appear next to her on my shoulder “Morning, Emily.” She hugged her, then disappeared, then a moment later reappeared with two cups of coffee. She handed one to Emily.

“Thanks.” Emily smiled.

I grinned, as I drank my own coffee. Nat and Charlie are good people, always taking care of everybody else.

The two of them sat on my shoulder, drinking coffee. Fizz joined them a moment later, with what was, at least, his second, but more likely third, cup. I've seen him drink straight from the pot before, I don't know why he needs so much caffeine he practically bounces of the walls already.

I leaned up against the counter. “How was last night?” I asked Natalie.

“My date? Or hearing-”

“The date.”

“I don’t think it’ll work out.”

“I’m sorry.”

Natalie shrugged. “She was nice and all, but we weren’t clicking, and I just…”

“Fair enough.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find my person.” Nat sighed.

“I’m guessing hearing your exes… go at it with each other last night was…”

“Salt in the wound? Yeah, a bit.”

“‘Go at it’, really?” Fizz scoffed.

“Fizz shut up.” Nat and I said in unison.

“Anyway…” I said, “I'm sure you’ll find your dream girl, Nat, be patient, and in the meantime you’ve got all us crazy noodles, whether you like it or not.” I took the last sip of my coffee.

Nat let out a breathy laugh, then turned and grinned at me. “Thanks, Trace.”

“And besides,” I said, grabbing my lunch bag out of the cupboard, “even if the date didn't go the way you wanted, at least you got a trip to the skating rink out of it.”

“True.”

I walked over to the fridge to grab the lunch stuff I had prepared last night. I had just opened the fridge door when, Nat said urgently, “Trace, jail break.”

I whipped my head around just in time to see a blur of black and white fur dart under the couch. Nat was already heading over there.

“Peepicheep, you naughty rat, you come out here right this instant.” I ordered, making my way too the couch. This stupid rat is going to be the death of me.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

I would honestly really appreciate any feedback you have. I'm still getting the hang of each of these characters both OCs and canon. Also, the introduction will be at least 3 parts.

But yeah, if you think my representation of the characters needs work, I agree and I would appreciate people's advice

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Okay I lied. It's 2 parts. I cut the 3rd part.

[wollowstar]

Blitzøs entire life spent being unwanted. So he adapted, and learned how to be something needed, something to be used.

Which is why I think he firmly believes he is being used by Stolas. He simply cannot fathom a different reality, one in which he is wanted for once in his life.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

I would like to suggest 2 more characters with variations of this.

Unlike Blitz, Fizz was wanted, for at least most of his life. However he was always wanted for what he could do, not who he was. This results in Fizz conflating used with wanted. We get a pretty clear picture of how this effects him in Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-season Special. It is so important to him that he win the pageant, that he prove he's "still good at this", because if he doesn't, what use is he to anyone? to Ozzie? And if he ceases to be of use, how could Ozzie possibly want him?

(I relate a little to much to that. Definitely a self call out)

I'd say Angel is on the same trajectory as Blitz, just farther down it. While Blitz thinks Stolas is using him (because Blitz could, of course, never be wanted and what could Stolas possibly need from him), he knows he is still needed by some people. Angel on the other hand, doesn't. He sees himself as completely disposable. If something happened to him, he knows Val could replace him in an instant. No one, except maybe Cherri and Fat Nuggets, would even miss him. He refers to himself as "[Val's] favorite toy." And the only way to avoid being discarded is to stay useful. But he has nothing "to live for tomorrow." He hopes he will break down enough that, eventually, he won't even be useful any more .

Before he could even consider that he might be wanted, he needs to be need. He needs to see his existence matters. Fat Nuggets needs Angel to take care of him. Cherri Bomb occasionally needs his help. And I think Angel might actually let himself believe those two might possibly want him around . It's only after he sees himself as needed by those at the hotel that he starts to open up to them.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

This video y'all... I really need the Hellaverse shows and fandom to STOP PERSONALLY ATTACKING ME (No I actually feel really seen by these shows, but still... Ow).

I was pretty isolated, especially in my teenage years. I really didn't interact much with people my own age from about my mid teens until I was about twenty.

I was homeschooled. Now homeschooled doesn't mean isolated, and homeschooling can be the best method of education for some people (it probably was for me actually), but it does make it easier to slip through the cracks and become isolated, and I very much did. I'm still dealing with that. And so many of the signs listed here, I'm just like, "oh yeah, that's familiar."

So anyway... it's a really good thing I'm in therapy.

[traumasurvivors]

Choose which one you need to hear! If it’s multiple, pick the one you need to hear most!

You are allowed to be angry about what happened.

You are safe.

It’s ok if you’ve changed. You get to decide who you are now.

I believe you.

Healing isn’t linear. And there is no timeline for healing.

There’s no “wrong” way to feel after trauma. Whatever you feel is ok.

What happened to you wasn’t your fault.

You never deserved any of it.

It wasn’t fair. You deserved so much better.

You survived the trauma. You can survive the healing.

Voting ended onAug 6, 2024

Please pass this on.

If I could, I’d say any and all you needed to hear to you. So know that even if you can’t say them to yourself, I’d sincerely say any of them to you.

[lost-romantique]

I know everyone is just harmless joking about Blitzø being bad in bed... but like let's slow down here.

Like, the first thing I noticed in this short was how 'less upbeat' Blitz was. He's still making sarcastic jokes left and right, but his usual bravado (mask) that he wears is slipping.

If this short takes place immediately after Apology Tour, than Blitz's self-esteem is down the shitter.

I don't know, maybe it's just the Blitz stan in me, but the incessant jokes about Blitz being bad in bed is starting to become tiring when the man looks like he's floundering to me.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

That's a good point

Also 18+ moment coming

Another thing I think people skip over is like you don't need to use your mouth there are other options for foreplay. I know I'm a virgin and all, but for the love of Pete, even I know that. We also know Blitz is highly into toys. He probably uses methods other than his tongue.