agendaposting

phoebe | 27 | aries and insufferable | ao3: fakeroyalty & aggravatingmf

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[fuckrozanov]

shane’s aura and confidence in episode 5 always kills me like he showed up to tampa with nothing but a duffel bag full of lube and condoms and a dream. and also the unwavering certainty that he was never going near pussy again

[thisfeebleheart]

patient needs neck kisses to survive

[themoonandmyman]

Do you think Shane would further investigate and or accept that he had autism if someone broached it to him

[notahungrywish]

I think Shane would immediately investigate and research this, find a list of symptoms or a checklist and take it way too literally, and then be like “well I’m definitely not autistic then” and go back to watching hockey tape.

I also think this research would cause him to have certain products marketing to him like loop earplugs or weighted blankets. And he’d be like “wow finally some good fucking products”.

Maybe he would see a list of common coping skills and be like “oh, these autism people are smart, I should totally try wearing sunglasses in the grocery store” and then go on about his oblivious way.

[muppetyaoi]

shane: i’m not really interested in license plates or dates, so i’ll mark that as “strongly disagree.”

shane: ……so anyway those are all of the stats for the 1966-67 MLH season, ilya. now, as for the olympics…

[notahungrywish]

Not understanding social rules? Couldn’t be me, I’m better at social rules than anyone I know. I literally have a list where I write them down so I can keep track. 😌

[pisshandkerchief]

never kill yourself. discovering music is literally endless. you know songs? they're always making new ones

[pisshandkerchief]

never kill yourself. discovering music is literally endless. you know songs? they're always making new ones

[starsworth]

jeremy: he was sixteen.

kevin: it's the age of consent in west virginia. without a complaint, there was no crime, and there will never be a complaint.

neil, who got the complaint:

[agoodsoldier]

Geryon | E | 12683 words

Ilya is a young man in America. Here he is in the off hours.

Read on AO3

[ahexagon]

you're surprised the two guys that miscommunicated their way into a 7 year situationship continue to miscommunicate after they get together? huh. it's almost like...they have patterns of behaviour that don't change unless they actively try to change them. isn't that crazy

[aslongasitsblack]

[cottageloon]

MY PRETTY BABIES

[kyberinthevoid]

I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.

[snap-crackle-cunt]

shane's little smirk before saying "no" when ilya asks him if he will disappoint them.. he knows he is that bitch!! in hockey at least. don't ask him about other stuff.

[mklnet]

MARK for HARPER'S BAZAAR KOREA April 2026

[knownqueerbaiter]

#ilyarozanovisoverparty

[Tweet from @EliotFreeman] Ilya Rozanov at his first #Cens practice, being asked why he chose to move from Boston to Ottawa: “To be closer to my gay lover, Shane Hollander.” [Tweet from @letsgetdrilled] oh great another player who thinks being gay is a joke #ilyarozanovisoverparty

No one thinks Ilya's answer is serious. Twitter reacts accordingly.

humor, 2.5k, rated T. read on ao3 here.

[shillanov]

i think we need a realistic representation of sex which is that shane is definitely a slut for ilya cumming on his face and then at some point he would definitely get pink eye because he forgot to close his eyes because he just really wanted to see ilya jorkin his big meat

[shillanov]

FJFJFJDSH

[rainbow-femme]

OK but. For all his not being great with social cues, Shane was the first person to realize Ilya was playing and played along

The first time they meet Ilya is pretty standoffish and the only moment he adds to the conversation is when he calls out “You will not be so friendly when we beat you” which a lot of people would get mad at him being, you know, a cocky asshole as is his reputation. But Shane just smiles and says “That’s not gonna happen” then gives him the cute penguin wave and leaves

Ilya beats Shane in that game, then at the draft, then starts baiting him with the cycling, then gives Shane the sarcastic “Sorry” when Shane answers that the day was almost everything he’d dreamed of

And again Shane doesn’t get mad at him he just smiles and says “No you’re not”

Because Ilya is just playing! He’s just doing the thing hockey guys do and poking fun at other players. But he’s also objectively better than most other people so they take it more personally than they do other players

He’s a big puppy trying to play with other puppies but because he’s stronger they get upset and don’t want to play with him, Shane is the first one who plays back and doesn’t take it personally

Like no wonder he set up the commercial with Shane, that would probably be pretty nerve wracking on his own but he knows Shane is nice and won’t be mean to him or get mad at him, and when he starts laughing part way through other people might have gotten mad at him for not caring or not taking it seriously, but Shane just starts laughing too

He’s the only person able to match his skill at hockey, he’s the only person to actually begin getting him as a person since he arrived, he plays along with the banter and matches Ilya’s energy without ever taking it personally

And honestly given the reputation he had before he’d ever even set foot in North America, Shane was probably one of the few people in over a year who was just plain nice to him

[bizarrelittlemew]

HEATED RIVALRY S1 ↳ Ilya telling Shane what to do (affectionate) (horny) (playful) (dominant) (begging)