AYYOOO LOSERS ITS JENN

Jenn - 18 - female - Pansexual .... That's it

[bartonbones]

“makeup actually expires!!!” not if it costs more than $5 it doesnt

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

It expires when its empty

[hydro-homies]

Ope

[mbrainspaz]

talking to my dad is a freaking minefield. Today at dinner I asked him if he’d ever been to New York City in the 90′s and he was like, “nope. Only in the 70′s to donate blood for my mom in the hospital while she was dying from leukemia.” I swear I didn’t even know my grandmother had leukemia (may she rest in peace). This is worse than the time I asked him if he’d ever had riding lessons and he said, “not since my childhood lesson pony burned to death in a barn fire in Kentucky.”

[mbrainspaz]

he just did it again! I was making small talk while we were carrying in the groceries like, “yeah I have a taser in my purse but I’ve never gotten to use it,” and he goes, “I’ve been tasered before it’s not fun. Neither was waterboarding.” 

wtf dad

[mbrainspaz]

latest edition:  me: I found a bottle of vic’s vapo rub in the cabinet that expired in 2002 but it was fine. 

my dad: Oh I don’t touch that stuff but guys I worked with used it to mask the smell of bodies that’d been dead for a while. 

[heywriters]

is your dad an ex-assassin

[amemait]

An ex-assassin who loved his mum. And his pony.

[mrinterpreter-deactivated202212]

If your masculinity is threatened by a razer advert, it is fragile indeed.

[boy2use]

Fuck you. Men are tired of male bashing. Most men are good, decent men looking out for their family. The problem with this ad campaign is it paints a broad stroke that alll men are rapists and evil. Go fuck yourselves simps and manginas . A razor company and you cucks will not tell me how to raise my son.

[culopeludo]

fragile af

[homo-nerd-grizz]

I’ve never seen that gif… As a gif…

[splintes-deactivated20210922]

being the unattractive friend is not easy i don’t think we get enough credit

[grownthot]

fax. like when someone talks to your attractive friend you gotta chill back in the corner. wit our ugly ass

[gonebynow]

I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”

and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I made my own artsy motivational wallpapers. Enjoy.

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

have i seriously lived long enough to experience the resurgence of demotivational posters’s natural evolution into shitposting motivationals

[cartiercocaine-blog]

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

[dont-touch-my-fandoms]

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

[blocboybucciarati]

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

[lesbianskunkrat]

I WATCH THIS EVERYDAY

[sbrown82]

When I tell y’all this was must-see TV in my house!!! 😂✊🏿📺

[urbansocialight]

I’m Regine!!!!

[cleothegoldfish]

Living Single has aged beautifully as a comedy.

[oujioujiouji-deactivated2020021]

Japan has a bara maid cafe and im typing this from the airport

[greencarnations]

IF YOU ORDER A CAN OF BEER, THE WAITER WILL POUR IT FOR YOU AND THEN CRUSH THE CAN

FOR $27 YOU CAN ORDER THE “WALL OF MEAT,” WHERE THEY STAND AROUND YOU AND RUN AROUND IN A CIRCLE WHILE FLEXING THEIR MUSCLES

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

[misseddetail-deactivated2018120]

gettin real sick of having to reblog from the source because you people can’t keep a fucking lid on your politics long enough to appreciate a freaking bara maid cafe.

[agent-of-empathy-deactivated202]

what the fuck was in the reblogs

[rocker-socks]

@surprisebitch

[surprisebitch]

a place to put in my bucket list

[buzzfeed]

21 People Who Forgot A Word And Just Made Some Shit Up

[mrkevinmchale]

im crying

[notalwaysluminous]

a friend of mine forgot the word “lamp” once and said “light faucet”

[teddylacroix]

I’m shaking from laughter. Yes, this is the right way to start a Friday morning.

[ravingliberal-deactivated201802]

Listen guys, I have a BA in English and an MA in Professional Writing and I have:

Forgotten the word “gums” and called them “teeth cuticles” Forgotten the term “liquor store” and called it a “rum-o-rama” Forgotten the word “mohawk” and called it a “head mustache”

The list goes on and on. Wording is HARD. 

[osointricate]

You know that putty you put in holes before you paint a wall? I forgot the word “putty,” called it “hole-be-gone” instead, and now my whole family refers to it as hole-be-gone.

[mechhound]

it’s hard to make the brain do the english, ok!?

[tosety]

I wish I had this skill. When I lose a word, my brain derails. I use the term ‘derail’ because it is the mental equivalent of a train derailment (just easier to clean up)

[serinmatheson1]

At the staff meeting, my boss referred to the clipboard as “that snappy board”

[magistrate-of-mediocrity]

My 4-year-old nephew didn’t know the word “knuckle” so he told us his finger knee hurt.

[skerbbie]

I have, on more than one occasion, referred to a spoon as a ‘food digger’.

[deaderrose]

My mom once forgot the word “band” and called it a “song team”

[shiningheart1]

I once forgot the words “drivers license” and called it a vroom vroom card.

[rametarin]

I call money, ‘Green fat.’

[sighinastorm]

When I told my friend she was on this post/buzzfeed listicle, she said “I always knew I’d be famous for being stupid”.

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

I constantly mix up the dishwasher and the washing machine. I once called the washing machine “clothes dishwasher”.

[moonlightcas-deactivated2018111]

(x) source

[ackerbang]

Ackersiblings with their parents💙💜

[weloveshortvideos]

Hello big boy!

[skypestripper]

ok but honestly? how does this lion not maul the fuck out of him.

[piss-pirate]

Lions are huge kittens

[thecrazydusclopslady-deactivate]

He’s probably been with these lions for quite a while. The grunting noises the lion makes (or “chuffling” as it’s known as) are his way of saying “hello” to his human friend. Lions have pretty good memories, too, so if the lion was raised as a cub by this dude, it’s very likely he’ll remember him as an adult. And if the lion shows affection to this guy, then his pride will pretty much be like: “Ok he’s cool we’ll love him too”.

[prokopetz]

Plus, social apex predators are generally pretty mellow. It’s the solitary types and the herbivores you’ve gotta watch out for. Especially the latter - large herbivores are assholes.

[jswander]

This is Kevin Richardson!!

He is a badass and has worked for almost twenty years with a ton of lions like these ones. He has his own unique style of handling the lions where he spends countless man hours with the cats, often hand-rearing them from a very young age. The result is he is an “honorary lion” in several of the prides that he oversees in this park in South Africa. He will often go for walks with them like this, or take naps or be just generally cuddly with the lions to enforce the social bond. 

He honestly loves these guys like they’re family, and as a result is able to use the lions in films and adverts in a way that is very low-stress for the animals due to their incredible faith in him. Currently he has a youtube channel where you can see him working with the animals and promoting wildlife conservation and awareness :D!

[stephanyyl]

What an absolutely rewarding luxury

[ufocafe]

so i asked a friend what was up and she replied with this and i feel like i’m in an episode of the twilight zone

[roronoa-deactivated20180902]

[fedswatching]

my guy pikachu more heartless than the whole team rocket organization

[tarynel]

I am fucking screaming lmfao

[ladybjackson-deactivated2018082]

ADIOS MF

[gluten-free-pussy]

This is a lot lol

[africanaquarian]

“is SHE wrong?” lmao hell naw she smart as fuck

[threesideddream]

CLAP for a woman with her planning ass!

[strixkid-deactivated20240927]

Gone Girl (2014)

[thorinobsessed]

Only four years to get the money to a Great Escape? This lady is going places!

[catchymemes]

[antique-scarecrow]

THE FUCKING PUNCHLINE, I’M ENDED

[porterr-robinson]

[maricon-carne]

[wollythedane]

That slap is THROWING me, I might die.