Spirit

"I'm treading water, I need to sleep a while"🪽 | vent blog | '05 | ENFP |

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Donte Collins

[hel7l7]

I just want to feel clean

[sapfang]

[wispmusic]

ŵ3lc0me to he4ven

[family-oddity]

[astriloquum]

Frida Kahlo, from a letter wr. c. November 1933, featured in The Letters of Frida Kahlo: Cartas Apasionadas

[family-oddity]

Being ex-Christian never does seem to fully leave your body. Its like a condition and some people have it worse than others. I was four the first time I thought I might go to hell. I couldn't even pronounce it right, I called it "hail" and I was already deathly afraid of eternal damnation.

I remember for a couple years, every time I told a white lie I regretted I'd skitter down to my mom and dad's room at night. I'd burst through their door and tear up at the foot of their bed, fidgeting with my hands. I'd confess whatever I'd done, because what is God, if not a deified parent.

I stopped being religious around the time I was 13, but I never stopped believeing in some kind of higher power. I never stopped being full of repentance either. There are a handful of people who roam this earth who know the very worst things about me.

I willingly told each and every one of them and if I had to relive it I'd feel compelled to do it again. I have never stopped searching for divinity in the people I love and hoping they could absolve me of something.

[family-oddity]

[family-oddity]

[family-oddity]

Between my fury and grief, love still remains.

[family-oddity]

I shake my head when I'm told I've done nothing wrong by someone who does not know the things that keep me up at night

I need to find a God in someone, strip myself bare, and ask, "Is it forgivable?"

[family-oddity]

[family-oddity]

[family-oddity]

[family-oddity]

[lobotomyscars]

do you ever laugh with your friends and think oh this is the point. this is the point of everything

[family-oddity]