The Family Man Diaries

Ordinary thoughts from a modern family man navigating fatherhood, emotions, work, mental clutter, and life in Australia.

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Was My Education Worth It?

It is indeed the dream of most parents — well, at least for mine — that their children should receive the best education possible. And for many middle-class Asian families, education comes with enormous sacrifice.

Parents spend their entire lives saving, compromising, and working hard so their children can study at good schools and colleges.

I was also part of that same race.

From the very first day of school, the message was simple: Get good marks so you can get a good job and build a successful life.

But life does not always work according to formulas.

Being an average child academically, I worked hard, but somewhere along the journey I often felt success standing just one step away from me.

Still, the sacrifices and expectations of my family never allowed me to give up, so I kept pushing forward and continued giving my best.

Even after completing my bachelor’s degree, I still had to start from the basic level and slowly work my way up.

And honestly, it was not my degree alone that kept me from sinking midway.

It was my hard skills, soft skills, attitude, communication, and ability to deal with people that truly helped me survive.

Surprisingly, some of the most important lessons needed to survive in a workplace were never taught in college.

Yes, you heard that right.

No one really taught us: how to handle difficult managers, how to survive toxic workplaces, how to communicate during pressure, or how important attitude truly is.

I often hear employers say: “We can teach skills, but attitude is very difficult to change.”

And looking back now, I realise they were probably right.

In college, we were taught how to become future managers and successful professionals, but nobody really prepared us emotionally for the realities of working life.

It has rightly been said: Employees often do not leave organisations — they leave bosses.

And another harsh truth: Love your job if you want, but never expect the organisation to love you back the same way, because companies replace people far more easily than people expect.

That is why I believe education — in any field — should spend more time teaching people management, emotional intelligence, communication, teamwork, and self-awareness.

Because at the end of the day, how long you survive in a workplace often depends less on your degree and more on the relationships you build with your team and managers.

Otherwise, many educated people slowly become lost souls carrying qualifications but searching for peace.

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Who Are We Competing With?

It is often said that babies are born neutral. At first, they only know two emotions — to cry and to smile.

Little do they know that one day they will become part of a never-ending competition that quietly follows them through life.

The competition is so deeply embedded into society that we subconsciously compete for almost everything.

From getting better grades on our report cards, to getting the girl before someone else proposes to her.

And once you marry, you slowly become part of the system — almost like in The Matrix — where you buy a house, work endlessly, and retire while still paying off the mortgage.

Only a few people who think differently seem able to step outside this cycle earlier than the rest.

We compare: our salaries, our lifestyles, our children’s accomplishments, and later even the destinations of our holidays.

The race quietly keeps changing forms.

But not all competition is bad.

As they say, when you understand the limits of your body and mind and push yourself slightly beyond your comfort zone, you can achieve far greater things than you ever imagined.

The problem begins when the competition is no longer with yourself, but with everyone around you.

Because when you compete with yourself: if you win, you celebrate. If you lose, you learn.

Either way, the journey still belongs to you.

But somewhere along the way, many of us stop asking an important question:

Do we even realise we are part of this competition anymore?

Or are we simply running endlessly, hoping to reach a finish line that may never truly come?

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The Stranger Next to Me

There is a stranger next to me, And somehow its story bewilders me.

This stranger comes with many faces, Yet somehow you can always sense its traces.

Sometimes the stranger is busy scrolling on the phone, Surrounded by people, yet travelling alone.

Sometimes the stranger quietly reads a book, Unaffected by the noise or wandering looks.

The stranger’s dressing often amuses me, And I wonder what inspirations shape their identity.

At times our eyes briefly lock, But unfamiliarity quickly interrupts the story.

There is a stranger next to me, Travelling day in and day out, just like me.

Somewhere in another dimension, Maybe we would have connected deeply. But damn this city, And its culture of silent disconnection.

Virtual worlds now dominate the eyes and heart, Making real people invisible to one another.

“Hello stranger, how are you? How was your day?”

Sometimes I genuinely wish to ask.

But the fear of being misunderstood Stops the conversation before it can even begin.

Still, somewhere inside, I hope we connect someday.

And maybe one day, The stranger next to me will simply smile and say, “Hi.”

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Me and My 10 Minutes

Hey busy man… yes, you.

How are you really doing?

Juggling the responsibilities of life, are you finding any time for yourself?

You wake up in the morning and, if you are lucky enough, you had a decent sleep without the continuous pounding of thoughts chasing you through the night, slowly pulling you towards an abyss of worry and overthinking.

If you are health-conscious, maybe you hit the gym. If you are chasing goals and responsibilities, you rush yourself through another morning and marathon your way to work.

The monotony of work slowly eats you from inside, but the responsibility of family keeps you moving forward.

You have ambitions. Dreams. Plans for life.

But somewhere along the journey, you start feeling time crumbling down on you.

The energy in your eyes that once carried a spark now feels hidden behind a face you barely recognise anymore.

And yet…

the lines on your forehead quietly tell the story of every struggle you have survived, while you still continue to walk around with a smile.

So hey man, my humble question to you is this:

Are you stopping sometimes? Taking a pause? Looking after yourself?

“Me and My 10 Minutes” allows me to do exactly that.

These ten minutes give me a small sense of control over my life again. Somewhere inside those quiet moments, I find peace.

Now how you spend these ten minutes is completely up to you.

Maybe you sit quietly. Maybe you pray. Maybe you walk. Maybe you listen to music. Maybe you simply stare at the ceiling and breathe.

But I truly believe that if you give yourself those ten minutes and engage in an honest conversation with your inner self, you may slowly rediscover yourself again.

Because sometimes, the answers to our hardest questions are not outside in the world.

They are already sitting quietly within us.

I have started doing this.

And you, my friend… what is stopping you from rediscovering yourself?

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Shake It, Don’t Fake It

(Shake Your Problems)

Shake it, but don’t fake it, Or else the problems will cake it.

Gather facts and do the research, The answer is there in your search.

Don’t hit the wall and let the heat rise, Support is the key—so apply the ice.

Use patience and wisdom to keep on track, Without the right tools, it’ll be one big wrack.

If the drink is right, you’ll see a smile, Else repeat the process—go another mile.

[familymansblog]

Shake It, Don’t Fake It

(Shake Your Problems)

Shake it, but don’t fake it, Or else the problems will cake it.

Gather facts and do the research, The answer is there in your search.

Don’t hit the wall and let the heat rise, Support is the key—so apply the ice.

Use patience and wisdom to keep on track, Without the right tools, it’ll be one big wrack.

If the drink is right, you’ll see a smile, Else repeat the process—go another mile.

[familymansblog]

The Pursuit of Happiness

Like a stray dog, I kept roaming through the streets, But could not find the candy To give this heart a treat.

No matter how high I rise, The ache inside still stays. I searched everywhere for happiness, Yet found myself lost in its maze.

Every man’s life feels incomplete without it, As if the sole purpose of life is to become it.

East I went and west I go, Seen the stretches from north to south. Yet the endless journey keeps stretching out, Like a road that never runs out.

Every morning I wake up, The pursuit of it shakes me up. The pursuit of happiness — The thing I endlessly chase, Believing somewhere within it Lies the key to a peaceful life.

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What’s Eating You Inside Out?

Emotions are strongly linked to the human psyche and the body.

They can control the mind, and the body bears the reaction. The mind becomes the victim, while the body quietly absorbs the aftershocks of those emotions.

As humans, we keep absorbing experiences — the so-called stimuli — from the day we are born. Of course, we do not remember all of them. But the ones that disturbed us, shook us, or impacted us deeply leave their carbon footprints on our memory lane.

The other day, I was reading about IFS — Internal Family Systems — and came across the idea of “exiles.” From what I understood, exiles are pockets of embedded emotions locked away in our subconscious. The protectors within us do not want these parts to come out, because they are connected to pain, fear, shame, or old wounds.

But even when we do not consciously know them, they can still interfere with our daily lives. They can create disturbances in the body, while we keep living in the void, unaware of their effect.

Modern medicine can provide relief, but sometimes that relief feels temporary.

When I look at my own past — constant fights and arguments between parents, and some bullying during early school years — I wonder whether some of the symptoms my body shows today are somehow connected to those old emotional wounds.

And then I wonder:

How many people are out there who do not know their own exiles?

How many are carrying pain inside without even realising how it is affecting their body?

So if you really want to know what is eating you inside out, maybe the first place to look is within yourself.

Because sometimes, your body bears witness to the silent skirmishes that your emotions have played on your mind.

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My Psyche!

Let me know what you feel while reading this.

My Psyche is on a hike, Feeling restless as if on a spike. Calm I may look from outside, But a volcano is erupting inside.

The heart is racing to a beat, Rising momentum, building heat.

My Psyche is on a hike, Feeling restless as if on a spike. Veins are busy showing highways, My thoughts are drifting sideways. The hairs on my body are standing, While these thoughts struggle with landing.

My Psyche is on a hike, Feeling restless as if on a spike. These emotions are playing games, Plotting conspiracies and making me lame. Lines are forming on my forehead, Sharing stories from inside my head.

My Psyche is on a hike, Feeling restless as if on a spike. Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s treason, God only knows the spellbinding reason. Lying on a bed with a messy sheet, Falling into an abyss with its dark fleet.

My Psyche is on a hike, Feeling restless as if on a spike. Kneeling down and calling my psyche, End this misery and stop this shite. No good will come from this fight, Maybe it’s time to make things right.

So come, my psyche, break this wall. After all, we are just one body and soul.

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Another day in Paradise!

Hey folks,

This is not some hi-fi blog filled with perfect advice or fancy life lessons. This is just the honest voice of a dad trying to make ends meet while creating a small community of ordinary people like myself.

I have a wife, a four-year-old daughter, and we live here in Australia, trying to build a decent life one day at a time.

The sun rose fine this morning. The day started normally. Tea, breakfast, getting ready, checking the clock, rushing through another weekday. From the outside, everything probably looked perfectly normal.

But sometimes the mind is louder than the day itself.

Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering if I’ll be able to pay off the loan on time. Sometimes I drift away into small fantasies and dreams, helped a little faster by a beer or two. For a few moments, life feels lighter.

Then suddenly it’s 5:30 in the morning again.

My faithful friend — the phone alarm — reminds me to come back to reality, get up, and start another day in paradise.

I know people expect men to stay strong all the time. And trust me, I try. I really do.

But sometimes the child within just wants to scream a little, breathe freely, and escape from all the pressure for a moment.

Maybe that’s why I’m writing here.

So tell me honestly — How do you all manage your day? How do you take care of yourself? And what is troubling you these days?