i think it's so funny wehave like letters and whatever from Tolkien talking about how he fucked up with the orcs. it's ao funny
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@fat-rhinos
i think it's so funny wehave like letters and whatever from Tolkien talking about how he fucked up with the orcs. it's ao funny
media literacy includes understanding why a media product was made, to whom it's being sold, and the assumed preferences of its marketing demographic. narrative is not produced or sold in a vacuum.
you might be totally correct that your ship would be narratively satisfying. I don't know, I'm not watching your show. Whether your ship is likely to happen on the show is a whole different question to whether it's satisfying, because the show is being sold to Netflix or Amazon or the BBC, and they are purchasing a show they think they can market to a particular demographic and that demographic isn't you, the nightmarishly online tumblr user. The show is being made for marketability to a constructed average viewer. It is being funded with that audience in mind. This art is being made to commission, and commissioned art is art, but at some point you have to stop expecting the Church to commission a statue of Lucifer fucking St Michael. It might be narratively satisfying, but that's just not what they're paying for.
Ilya thinking he’s about to embark on a sexcation only to be bombarded by cutieful Shane Hollander with plans to spend the rest of their lives together which effectively alters Ilya’s brain chemistry to be The Boyfriend of all time is straight up the funniest thing about heated rivalry
Personally i think a flavor of this is that literally up until shane says "i would really like to relax with you, for once," ilya is very much under the impression that he is like, an alpha being dragged to his omega's secret den to be used like a sentient sex doll for 2 weeks and that Shane only wants dick from him and he is "fine with that" and "willing to have whatever shane will give him" until the end of time
Except then shane is like no, this is my comfort place, and now its yours too, and I am so giddy to see you here I cant see straight and yes im a little hard about it but mostly I just want to exist with you with no pretense of running out the door in a few short hours hey by the way dont marry svetlana even for a green card, I have a better idea--
And ilya is so starstruck by this 180 of his expectations from being here to provide orgasms to spending the rest of his life with this man that he loses his grip on himself and says I love you first and then panics but then shane says it back and holds him while he sobs and they can never go back from this
Before Shane moved in and they started spending nearly every night together, Ilya was a very light sleeper. Galina suggested it was a trauma response from his childhood.
Ilya supposed that made sense; Grigori would sometimes burst into his bedroom in the mornings and scream at him for being lazy if he was still in bed. He had taken to leaping out from between the covers as soon as the first heavy thud of his father's feet on the stairs reached his ears. He sometimes found himself up and shivering against the cold morning air before he was even aware he'd moved.
But one morning at the start of Shane's first season with the Centaurs, he was awoken gently by his husband's hand on his shoulder and the sun streaming through the window. Brighter than he expected.
"Hey, baby," Shane whispered with a smile, "you look so cozy. I feel bad waking you, but you already slept through your alarm, and we're gonna have to leave soon."
Ilya sat up quickly and checked the time. Half an hour past his alarm. Never once had he slept through an alarm before. Confused, he asked, "It went off?"
"Yeah, I heard the tail end of it as I got back in from my run with Anya or I would've shut it off sooner, sorry."
Ilya thought this was a silly thing to apologize for since he apparently hadn't heard it anyway, but he too busy stuck in his head to comment on it.
Somehow, Ilya's brain must have felt safe enough for him to fall into a deeper sleep than he had in years. Where once this accident would have been met with cold and reprimand, here he was met with warm sunshine and his love's gentle hands. Ilya felt at home.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Before he moved in with Ilya and they started spending nearly every night together, Shane was practically dead to the world every time he went to sleep. He was just always so tired after long, physically intense days, okay?
But he was Shane Hollander so he would drag himself out of bed the next morning like clockwork for his run, and if it was earlier that he would like, well, that's just one of the sacrifices he's willing to make for his career. He could relax a bit more in the off-seasons.
It's not like he didn't get enough sleep. A full eight and a half hours on game days, maybe a little less the rest of the time, but never fewer than six hours. He tracked it. And stimulating his muscles was a great way to throw off any lingering drowsiness, so by the time he got back from his runs, he was ready for the day. Work hard at the rink, crash hard at home, rinse and repeat.
A few weeks into the regular season his first year with the Centaurs, Shane woke up in the early hours of the morning. They'd had yesterday off, and spent it lazing about and enjoyed each other's company, which had resulted in a mid afternoon nap. They'd gotten up around an hour later and made an early dinner, before Ilya had taken Shane to bed and worn him out so thoroughly that they'd still ended up going to sleep around the usual time.
But now Shane was awake, and feeling sore and soft and sleepy but not tired, and he could hear Ilya's heartbeat and the deep huffy breaths he took when he was sleeping well. At the foot of the bed, Anya was making quiet doggy snores that, hilariously, almost matched Ilya's. Shane smiled, chest pleasantly full of affection for his little family, and let himself gently slip back to sleep.
The next morning he woke up naturally, feeling well-rested and satisfied. At peace in Ilya's arms.
I also ☝️ think it's important to tell the difference between "the author's barely-disguised fetish" and "the audience member's unrealised kink that they're projecting onto the author because seeing a character tied up is making them feel funny in their Audience Member Parts"
count dracula? uhhh ok. one
WRONG! searching "dracula" on letterboxd alone gives almost 600 results! and that's just movies! thousands of draculas are upon us
cmon they just started… give it some time
thank you.
two
Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about
i know fandom history that even I don’t care about
well, i know about lump fish
Good to see we’re all on the same page
“Shane was just being nice to Ilya when he told him they are equals, otherwise Shane knows he is the better player.”
You really think Shane Hollander would lie to his own partner like that? The Shane Hollander? The bitchiest player of all time? The three times Stanly Cup winner who gloated at Ilya when he won the skating competition against him by 0.5 seconds??
The same Shane Hollander would lie to Ilya about them being equals just to be nice to him??
Y’all, be serious.
He didn’t pause on getting fingered to tell Ilya, “it’s a tie”, for y’all to discredit him like that. And I would rather trust Shane’s judgment on this than anyone else’s.
somewhat about lbr, but honestly i've been on such a journey regarding things like modern/high school/college/coffee shop aus the past couple years. like it really is a matter of execution and i don't think every story/pairing/character can work well in those sorts of au fics, but it's hardly impossible to make good ones. it's all a matter of understanding the characters you're working with, the genre they come from, and the genre you're porting them into. it's an exercise in adaptation to maintain what is critical of the original and make it something compelling and workable in an alternate genre and when there's not a bitch in you're ear telling you it's all gauche and bad, it's honestly a super fun area of fic writing to play in
So in the HR universe, how likely do we think it is that Ilya Rozanov has done at least 1 Superbowl commercial for Dunkin'?
I'm sure that people who pay attention to canon timelines will instantly argue that the timing doesn't work, but in my head the ad features Exhausted Dunkin' Employee Ben Affleck taking a ridiculous drive thru order from Ilya in an obnoxiously flashy convertible. Possibly... no definitely there is a fakeout where it sounds like Ilya is ordering something for himself and some incredibly sexy but also high maintenance woman, but when Ilya pulls around to the pickup window it turns out the Stanley Cup is riding shotgun and is also somehow sentient and is not at all subtly implied to be sleeping with Ilya Rozanov. Tired Ben is nonplussed at this reveal because he doesn't have the energy for This Shit.
OP: #In my head Ilya does a bunch of cheesy Dunkin' ads #And they do that thing where they very loosely follow a narrative #And obviously when Ilya up and moves to Ottowa Dunkin' drops him as a spokesperson #But Tim Hortons sees the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever and takes it #So now there's the Coffee and Donut Shop Cinematic Universe of Ilya Rozanov ads #That there is DEFINITELY a 45 m long supercut of on youtube #heated rivalry #ilya rozanov #heated rivalry ilya
He definitely did a commercial with Gronk and Big Papi. And people outside the region think that Gronk and Roz are guys Dunkin made up to sell energy drinks.
Daniele Accossato, wrapped nº𝟤 (jesmonite, rope, wood), 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣
pleaseeee share more of your thoughts about rocky and his abandonment trauma 🙏🙏🙏
[rips open my shirt to reveal another shirt that says "I <3 TORTURING THAT ROCK"] okay :) yay :) well mostly i think that people tend to take rocky's overt confidence and self-aggrandising behaviour at face value and don't really try to read into it too much, which leads to a lot of (what i interpret as) mischaracterisation where he's extremely self-assured and "low-effort" compared to grace in ways that call to mind stereotypes of masculinity and patriarchal dominance. i'll blame some of that on the fact that he is canonically gendered as male and written from that perspective despite being a genderless rock spider, and i'll grant that i haven't seen many instances of rocky being forced to inhabit an aggressively macho role that is fundamentally nothing like him (although i do see that more when he's given a human form, which is... well, it's a lot of things and none of them very flattering to the people who make those creative decisions). but i do think that a lot of people don't give him enough credit for how sensitive and, well... fragile - and i don't mean that as an insult - he really is. which isn't to say that i think his confidence is only a facade and that he isn't aware of how brilliant he is, but rather that a lot of his behaviour also reads to me as desperate. and i think he's very aware of this - his confidence is real, but he's also overcompensating with everything he's got to avoid acknowledging or revealing the weight of the trauma he's carrying for having watched all the people he knew die horrifically and been left alone for 46 years that lies beneath it. because he feels that he's guilty, and he's ashamed for needing anything at all when he, one of erid's best, still wasn't enough to save them all. he doesn't need help, he just has to do better. he has to be better. he has to, or more will die. grace will die. erid will die. the universe itself may be condemned to an eternity of cold lifelessness if rocky doesn't - if rocky can't - fix it.
additionally, and i don't condemn it - i've participated in a few instances myself for the sake of humor - but i do kind of take issue with rocky being sincerely interpreted as this aggressively dominant and "freaky" sex maniac. while i do understand the impulse to assume that grace couldn't top his way out of a wet paper bag, it's really doing a disservice to their characters to pigeonhole them into specific roles based mostly on shallow stereotyping, even if it is simply for the sake of getting your rocks off (pun very much intended). and if we are going to characterise rocky as hypersexual - because it is a common, and often misrepresented, long-term side effect of trauma - and considered something of a pervert by his peers, then why don't we actually dig into that and consider how it would affect him? let's ask ourselves how rocky would really feel about being so "needy" and wanting so much from other people; how he would struggle to adapt and conform to the expectations of a society he's spent decades outside of. what it would be like for him to be seen by other eridians as a gaping open wound, shameful and barely recognisable as one of them anymore; more like the indecently, inescapably wet and exposed alien that he brought back with him because he couldn't just close himself up tight and stop being so hungry for something that nobody can give him. that nobody should have to. i mean, really, it's just obscene, and hideously selfish, that they should be obliged to tolerate and accommodate for such unreasonable behaviour all because one bad thing happened to him that he can blame the entire rest of his shitty life on, isn't it? it doesn't feel right, that someone like that should be their saviour. that someone like that should be anything at all.
sticker design for pride this year! 💞🏳️⚧️
i know it's because they haven't figured out how long it'll stay in theaters, but I love that "indefinitely" makes it sound like the hadestown pro-shot will be showing forever
Gift comm for @khaotiklly of their wonderful fic <3
one of my favorite scenes ever :,) from ch 5 of my fic! joy is an artistic genius this is like it was pulled straight from my brain, and it's SO BEAUTIFUL <333
big fan of the four-year-old on this flight who yelled "THEY ARE BRINGING COMPLEMENTARY BEVERAGES" when the flight attendants came down with the drinks cart
unfortunate truth of reality is that oftentimes 15 year olds will say/do/believe some stupid bullshit because they are 15 but telling them that they believe that because they are 15 is probably the most counterproductive thing in the entire universe