I Escaped From Twitter

And all I got was this lousy t-shirt. 38. She/Her. Bisexual chaotic neutral.

[writtenbybcjr]

you found it disgusting and immoral; i found it sexy and arousing. this is why i have whimsy and you don't.

[lmbibitor]

“can mutuals dm you?” my mutuals can fire me from a cannon through a brick wall, looney tunes style. as long as we’re all having fun

[moonlitmonocerus]

For the ones that need it today

[relentless-gruul-siegeseer]

So nice to get a lovely compliment.

[cumdumpstiel]

me: and the foundational family myth, the Winchester Story, the altar upon which john sacrificed his sons' childhoods, comes CRASHING down in season five with the revelation that john and mary had a rocky, tumultuous marriage and that heaven had to conspire to magically brainwash them to stay together long enough to produce their fated angel vessel offspring as part of a millennia-long human breeding program ensuring that the fated apocalypse would come to pass

my date: *puts down half-eaten breadstick* we're talking about the cable tv show? about the bitches in the car?

[apollohour]

Spin a wheel to be assigned someone!

You have now switched lives with this person. How do you feel about this?

OH GOD OH GOD THE HORRORS

Oh this is quite shit actually, why would you do this to me

Their life is actually horrible, but I like this actually <3

Could be worse but could be a whole lot better

This is just my life.

Life's a rollercoaster, but I think I could do it even better than they did

Their life is amazing, but this is not the path for me

OH FUCK OH FUCK WHY WOULD YOU ASSIGN THIS PERSON TO ME >:0

This is so much better than my current situation

THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST CASE SCENARIO, I AM CHILLING

Ooh, this person's life is too convoluted for you OP

Results/I don't know who this is lol

Voting ended onMar 19, 2025

[rocktheholygrail]

[daily-spooky]

[byjove]

knights can be created by other knights like vampires except instead of biting them they wack them on the shoulders with swords

[emmacandle]

the honey they produce is chivalrous deeds

[byjove]

DO NOT listen to that tagger. That is a more modern take on knighthood. Nobles could knight knights, knights could knight knights. Before that, any guy with a sword and a horse could just be a knight. Just because the monarchy is holding all the knight rights in England doesn’t mean that is the way it is supposed to be. Knight anarchy.

[byjove]

🗡️ If you’re reading this, I have knighted you. Fuck all those chivalric orders that popped up during the Crusades. Knight anarchy. 🗡️

[wolfythewitch]

We lay here for years or for hours Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet So long, we'd become the flowers We'd feed well the land and worry the sheep

[wolfythewitch]

Reblogging this with a cropped version because I really like the cropped version

[funsizedshark]

YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE.

[parkchanwoohoo]

A lot of people on Tik Tok have migrated over to the Chinese app RedNote, and the Chinese users are so fucking funny about it. I saw one comment that was like "Welcome, I was the Chinese citizen assigned to spy on your data, I missed you"

[yekkes]

Big fan of this, too

[slash-gallagher]

they're asking for help with their English homework lmao

[sictransitgloriamvndi]

[transmortifried]

genuinely fucked up that if i want to interact with someone online i have to say words and have a conversation instead of just mashing my face against them like a cat

[anakachow]

reblog to mash your face against your mutuals like a cat

[byjove]

I think maybe the most ironic part of the white supremacist “Muslims are taking over Europe, save European culture and its people!” rhetoric is that they’ve been saying it for the past 1,300 years. No exaggeration. This is something they’ve been fearmongering about since the 8th century.

[byjove]

Then they’ll complain about how historically inaccurate and woke it is that there are nonwhite characters in European period dramas like it is totally impossible for a North African man to be in England in the 13th century and we don’t have manuscripts of assholes complaining about it from back then.

[liberalsarecool]

Corporations have no place in health care.

[marisatomay]

You all should have this on btw

[dafterwho]

absolutely not. i know it’s useful for time sensitive posts about current events, but it can really kill the longevity of other posts. not having timestamps used to be a big part of the tumblr experience, and it still should be

[marisatomay]

I mean you can just not look at it if you don’t want but often it’s good to see if the bad or out of date post you’re looking at is from yesterday or 2014. I have been on this site since 2012 and have a lot of posts floating around from 2014 that I might not necessarily agree with now because I was a teenager then and I’m almost 30 now. On more than one occasion recently someone has come onto posts of mine from 2014 guns blazing because they thought the post was recent and were quite embarrassed to discover that the take they got worked up about wasn’t a recent discourse but was rather a decade old and was part of a larger conversation at the time but now lacks the context with which it was shared. Save yourself the embarrassment of yelling at a ten year old cloud. Turn on timestamps.

[corrodedbisexual]

WYM it kills the longevity of posts. No tumblr user in their right mind looks at a post they like and chooses not to reblog it because it's "too old". I still keep getting notes from posts over a decade ago

[marisatomay]

That too. Like be for real. We love an old post. Knowing how old it is just provides more context (and often makes it even funnier).

[fefeflufflebutt]

Right?! I’ve never looked at something and though “Oh my God this is from 2018 I simply cannot endure the embarrassment of reblogging!”

It’s always “Oh my God this is still going! I must share it! Reblog!!”

[sword-and-nightingale]

Reblog to give a trans woman a warm cup of soup