limerence is a bitch.

felicia marie. twenty-six. mom. taken. ask . submit . my face . dexter instagram: ask snapchat: ask

[cantbringthisdown]

[thebpdevil]

No offense but I’ve literally never forgiven anyone or gotten over anything in my life

[acoolguy]

sometimes it’s annoying when your character can’t jump in a video game but how often do you jump in real life?

[questions-within-questions]

“Do you even remember the last time you jumped?” is a question I never anticipated leaving me feeling so hollow and terrified.

[teeny-tiny-taurus]

[edgar-thorn-deactivated20200514]

Bitch thats me

[purple-buddha-project]

[conop-8888]

[tiffanarchy]

if there was a 6 and a 9 there would be 69 and that’s the sex number

[moistnugget]

[im-the-batmann]

Male Country Songs:

I got my Truck, my Beer, my Dog

Female Country Songs:

I am going to kill my husband.

[thesunshore]

this is a perfect summary of straight culture though

[danielnelsen]

im watching a food show and one of the contestants literally said ‘i was introduced to food when i was very young’ like fuck i sure hope you were!?!?

[misskamala]

[sobeitjayt]

I drink water but i still be eating what im not supposed to im fake healthy 

[jurassic-parks-n-rex]

[1i73-deactivated20221021]

[northernwinedregs]

Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.

[aspidosecalis]

why is winter Like This

[paleopsychotic]

Planet’s tilted

[aspidosecalis]

Tilt it back.

[hismami]

[0v9]

Anyways, last week I was getting soup and I fell in love with a boy who made eye contact with me while he was picking up a takeout order, and so now today I’m gonna go back at the same time and hopefully see him again

[0v9]

if he was gay and the connection between us wasn’t fake, he’ll be back too

[0v9]

only one more hour…!

[0v9]

you know what? love is fake and im never falling for a boy ever again

[ironychan]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: When you treat retail employees like shit, you become an instant joke. You are the story they tell over coffee to make their friends and family laugh at the idiot. You are the person they mimic in a squeaky voice.

Next time you want to yell at a retail employee, imagine them repeating what you are about to say in a squeaky voice. Because that will be your legacy.

[xodarkparadise]

I know I'm a handful but thats what you got two hands for