FelineDicatorminion @felinedicatorminion - Tumblr Blog

this and also the only difference between fanfic writers and writers who sell their own original works as careers is that fanfics aren’t monetized. that’s all.

being a “professional” writer doesn’t mean your works are inherently better than fanfics. I’ve read so many fics that are more professionally written than some published books.

whether or not a piece of writing is monetized has nothing to do with its quality.

dykethang

big if true tbh

paradoxgavel

looking it up, apparently this was an artist who made signs like this to parody the actual city council's signage, just told apart by his logo in the corner, "christchurch city confusion", and they had locals rly confused for a bit. my favorite is this one!

aquilacalvitium

@ominous-signs

themoonandmyman

baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.

Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.

littleewhitelotus

i just HAD to draw this

jewelcoatfish

shane was out and about with rose one day at one of her jewellery appointments that sort of merges with shane’s schedule and he offers to come along with her because otherwise they couldn’t see each other at all.

anyway so rose is an ambassador for that brand and they’re getting her to try on jewellery while shane browses like a regular customer, before a brooch catches his eyes. it’s one of those gorgeous brooches that has a massive sapphire in the middle and diamonds all over and okay, the sapphire really looks like ilya’s eyes. so now shane ends up with a brooch, and rose gushes over how he spoils his husband sooo much

he gives it to ilya and when ilya asks what occasion he just shrugs and says “it reminds me of you” and when ilya opens the box he nearly fainted. because my guy knows the quality of jewellery of that brand and how expensive they are

softgnome

Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.

xiaq

I need a fic where Hayden’s youngest, Amber Pike, is Shane’s flavor of autistic, and as soon as they realize, Ilya is like, oh, step aside, I’ve got this.

Like, he’s generally fab with kids anyway but he has a near lifetime of knowledge figuring out what makes Shane tick (and twitch) and this is just a child who isn’t able to control their environment or modulate their responses to things in the way that Shane can.

So when they’re having dinner with the Pikes and Jackie is tiredly recounting the ongoing process of getting Amber tested and how lost they’re feeling, Ilya is like, oh, I have been training my whole life for this. And when 3yr old Amber inevitably starts having a meltdown, Ilya jumps up and says, “Here. I will fix. You stay.”

And they’re like, you know what, sure, have at it.

Within a few minutes of Ilya disappearing with Amber, the crying stops. When they track the two down a half hour later, they’re in the basement on the rug with all the lights off. Amber is wearing a pair of Christmas Pjs (notably a bamboo/cotton mix) despite the fact that it’s February, and she’s laying on Ilya’s chest, ear to his sternum, alternating tapping along as he hums, spinning his ring on his finger, and rubbing his shirt (also a Nice Fabric since obviously Ilya’s whole wardrobe is Shane-approved).

And when Amber sees the family + Shane trooping down the stairs and starts to get riled up again, Ilya is immediately like, “Turn off hall light. It is Dark Floor Time. Only quiet people allowed to join, okie?” And Amber lets out this relieved, shuddery little breath because she has someone who understands and can advocate for her which nearly ends Ilya’s life but also Shane is like, oh shit, yeah, I’m the the best at floor time, I love being quiet and grounded and aimlessly touching my husband, lets fucking go.

So even when the other Pike children get antsy after a few minutes, and their parents take them upstairs, Shane and Ilya stay, letting Amber crawl all over them and get chill before they get her ready for bed.

Afterward, Ilya gives Hayden and Jackie an exhaustive rundown of all the various things they might want to consider for clothing and food and overstimulation and regulation and they’re very grateful but Shane is listening to this going, okay some of this I obviously knew about myself but some of these things I didn’t even notice? Holy shit? He pays such close attention to me?? Hold on, some of these things I haven’t done since middle school. Ilya, did you talk to my mom about my childhood behavior?? And yes, Ilya gives Jackie Yuna’s phone number for additional consult until they get Amber’s official diagnosis and are provided with more resources.

(And maybe at first Shane wants to be annoyed about the fact that Ilya has been, what, researching and compiling some sort of manual on how to handle him? Right up until Ilya reminds Shane that Shane has an Ilya Spreadsheet that now contains over a dozen tabs of Ilya’s likes and dislikes, injuries and recovery protocols, training and diet and supplements, depression treatment with behavioral red-flags and mitigation techniques, and even sexual preferences. And Shane is like, oh yeah, okay, that’s fair)

But anyway. As the Pike kids grow up, Ilya tries not to be obvious about it, but it’s just Known that Amber is Uncle Ilya’s favorite. And everyone is mostly okay with that.

His doting is so quietly impactful for Shane, though, because here is a child who reminds Shane of his own younger self: a little odd, who struggles to articulate what she feels and needs, who gets overstimulated easily and has obsessive interests, but even so, Amber is a favorite and so loved and accommodated by his husband. That’s gotta be healing.

Also, as much as they try to get Amber to hyperfixate on hockey, I think it’d be hilarious if she became a horse girl and Ilya literally buys her a pony.

(Hayden: Oh my god, Ilya. Do you know how expensive horses are?? Ilya: Yes, yes, maybe for 15th best player on the Metros with one hundred other children, horse is big cost, but not for best player in the league married to second best player in the league with Yuna Hollander in charge of sponsorship deals. I set up fund for board and train. Is couch money.)

(Shane is unavailable for comment because he is feeling a velvety horse nose for the first time and realizing that maybe he is also a horse girl).

j0esp00ky

In my soul I know that in the future when both Troy and Shane are in therapy (because they both desperately need it) one of the two of them gets an autism assessment done, and when the one who gets it down mentions the fact that they got it done and that they’re autistic everyone in the locker room’s head whips to the other one. Because those two act so similarly all the centaurs realize if one of them has it the other probably does too.

j0esp00ky

The Troy raising his younger brother au

This is inspired by a post by @troy-barrett-love I don’t know if I’m ever gonna fully write this fic but I need to get the thoughts out of my head. If anyone else wants to steal this pls do.

So as we all know Curtis is a pos with a significantly younger wife. It’s really not a crazy leap to imagine him having a basically replacement kid with her after Troy comes out and he realizes Troy is a “failure”. Now in my head this kid is a boy for the ultimate angst of it all (Curtis getting his do over in this new son). I’ve been calling this kid Curtis Jr. or CJ for short, idk it just feels like it fits. Then timeline wise I’m setting this about 13-14 years post Role Model, Troy is freshly retired, he and Harris are childfree, instead they just have animals.

Okay now that I’ve set the scene a bit. Troy just finished his final season, he’s starting at settle into things when he gets a call from a Vancouver area code. It’s a social worker calling about Troy’s little brother, he’s been removed from their father’s custody (dealer’s choice on why). And first of all Troy is freaking the fuck out this all because what the fuck??????? He has a brother????? There’s a huge scramble to prepare a room for CJ and since it’s a move between provinces and a pretty significant move at that they’re also communicating with a social worker in Ottawa specifically to make sure everyone is acceptable. Then when Troy and Harris finally meet CJ he’s basically just what Troy was like in the beginning of Role Model but worse. Because I imagine that Curtis decided that what went wrong with Troy was that he didn’t exert enough control over Troy, so he’s going to fix that mistake with CJ. So CJ has internalized just as much bullshit at 13 as Troy did at 25.

After this it’s all more nebulous in my mind. Like I think maybe he’s in a hockey league. And maybe Curtis is trying to get custody back. I don’t know to me this all sounds so juicy. I’m not planning on doing anything with this concept rn, but if anyone else wants to pick it up…

hyphenemdash

The Cens are in the locker room after a pretty light practice, the season not yet in full swing, and the topic turns to married life, as it often does.

Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…

“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”

There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.

“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.

“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”

The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.

“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”

Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.

“Say that again.”

Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.

“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”

Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.

“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”

And thus starts the social media scrolling to figure out which Charge players are 1) single, 2) in Holms age range, and 3) into men

gaynehollander

The “do you want to know how it feels, holding the cup?” is genuinely such a fucking cunty comment and all Shane does is throw his underwear at Ilya and then grin like he’s so proud of himself.

What I’m saying is this, sometimes Ilya will say something to Shane in front of the Centaurs that makes the whole locker room freeze up because if they said that shit to their own partners, they would be in the doghouse for months. But Shane will just shove Ilya or punch him in the shoulder and then they grin at each other like it was the funniest shit ever.

They learn the hard way that although there seems to be no boundry to what Ilya can chirp Shane with, the same does not apply to anyone else. If anyone makes a comment to Shane that is deemed not appropriately playful, you will be facing the wrath of his husband and you will wish you were dead.

meebles

In love with the concept of Ilya pretending he doesn’t understand English when someone asks him some fuckass question that he doesn’t want to answer. Especially post-TLG.

Ilya gets pulled for a live post-game media scrum, and instead of being asked about the two goals he scored or how cohesively their team played that day, he gets asked the umpteenth question by some smarmy sports reporter about his and Shane’s relationship, with thinly-veiled jabs about how having two married queer players on their team must be bad for their locker room.

And Ilya loves being able to openly talk about Shane and their relationship, but he’s so sick of this offensive line of questioning. So instead he just makes his innocent-confused-puppydog face and replies in rapid-fire Russian. The reporter is thrown off and repeats his question, but Ilya just replies in Russian again, going on and on until the reporter gets flustered and gives up.

Later when the internet translates what he said, it’s something along the lines of, “I don’t understand such idiotic English questions, but if the sports reporter wants to ask questions about the sport he’s paid to report, I can answer those,” and then it’s just him praising his teammates on how well they’ve been playing.

Harris is also sick of the invasive questions, so he doesn’t throttle Ilya over it. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious. He’s later asked about his husband’s “behavior” by some reporter in the states. He also plays dumb and does the same thing as Ilya, but in French.

flower-of-the-desert

Love thinking about an AU where the relationship reveal with Yuna and David happens because something overwhelms Shane into a panic attack/breakdown, maybe they're at some NHL show or event, maybe it's just been a really long fucking day, maybe suddenly Shane feels just completely overwhelmed by the lights and the noise and all the fucking people wanting to shake his hand or slap his back or tell him how much they like his fucking play.

Yuna notices something is wrong because of course she does and together with David they herd Shane into some private empty side room hoping it will help him calm down. But it doesn't. He wont stop shaking and his breathing is too fast and he flinches at their voices even tho nobody is speaking loudly. Won't let Yuna come close to hug him or rub his arm.

Maybe Yuna is starting to panic a little herself, her heart aching as she watches Shane wrap his own arms around himself, hates that she cant do anything when her son is so clearly in distress, hates that she can't seem to think of anything that will work-

When suddenly the door bangs open and Ilya Fucking Rozanov??? strides into the room with quick steps, makes a beeline directly for her son, eyes locked on him like he doesnt even register her and David in the room as well and Yuna opens her mouth to cuss him out, tell him to fuck off and not bother Shane right now, she can feel her body moving already to stand in front of Shane protectively when David grabs her arm because-

Because Rozanov is pulling Shane into his arms, one hand on the back of Shane's neck, guiding his head to press into the crook of Rozanov's neck and Shane isn't fighting it, doesn't flinch from his touch. He goes where Rozanov arranges him and let's himself be held and rocked back and forth gently as Rozanov presses his mouth to Shane's ear and starts whispering something so quietly that Yuna can't really make out the words but what she can see is Shane's shaking subsiding, hands fisting tightly into Rozanov's shirt, his breathing going slowly back to normal because - oh. oh - her son is syncing his breaths with Rozanov who, Yuna realises, is taking very exaggerated deep slow breaths of his own so Shane can match them. And then Rozanov turns slightly while still rocking them both back and forth and Yuna sees Shane's face where it's smushed into Rozanov's neck. Sees the look there.

And that's how Yuna realises her son is in love and the man - his years-long rival - he loves must have left in the middle of his award-winning show to come here and pull her son out of a panic attack like there was no place he'd rather be than right here with Yuna's overwhelmed panicked boy in his arms, soothing him until Shane's body relaxes completely into that hold, mumbling that he's fine yet not pulling away and Rozanov makes no move to let go either.

Oh, Yuna thinks again, gripping David's hand tightly. It's not just Shane. My baby is in love. And he's loved back.

fibromyalgicaf

Edited to add: Since a lot of people are reblogging this original post, I'm adding the updated version I did that incorporates the intersex circle...

I know intersex people are still getting excluded in a lot of LGBTQIA+ spaces (let alone wider society) and I think it's crucial to show this group is included in the statement that we all deserve equal rights.

snogards

I'm willing to bet that at least one MLH player post-long game tweeted "We can thank Montreal for being so homophobic they got God and Satan signed to the same team. Say goodbye to the cup because no one else is gonna see it for another 10 years 😔" once it was announced Shane was going to play for Ottawa 😭

sexaftersunrise

Svetlana knows that Jane is a man but also she definitely 100% knows it's Shane, and the more I think about it the funnier it gets.

Like she knows that Ilya gets weird when she brings up Hollander. And she knows that he watched that documentary about his house (maybe she even knows he watched it more than once). I bet she's caught the occasional interesting word on his phone screen when she's been over his shoulder, too.

But most importantly, she's obsessed with hockey. You know she watches every one of Ilya's games. You KNOW she's seen him and Shane glancing at each other and watched the way they interact, and you better believe she clocked when they were decidedly NOT glancing at each other and both playing like absolute shit.

finelytaylored

he was down SO BAD IMMEDIATELY

finelytaylored

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