Femme Damsel

35, Just a modern day femme lesbian damsel (not) in distress who appreciates her butch knights. Also shipper of Briensa. https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomnotes84

[pageturnerslongview]

Second book of the year, a YA novel. Quick read though I didn't care for the ending.

[femmedamsel]

This is a decent LGBTQAI+ novel that's a quick read.

[femmedamsel]

Let’s talk old fashioned, old school date etiquette!

When you are on a date with a prospective partner, unless you are on call for your job, or the president (in either case, then you shouldn’t be on a date), you should always keep your cell phone on silent and put away. Though we live in a digital age, it is a faux pas, particularly over dinner, to have your cell phone on the table or to look at the screen. It may seem hard, but you should be able to go a few hours without checking your messages. Also maintain eye contact with your date while speaking. If you simply MUST check your phone, please excuse yourself to the restroom and check while there. Trust me, she will appreciate the attention that you give her.

[unofficeleriac-deactivated20210]

Reblog if it's okay for anybody to message you if they're feeling lonely during self isolation. Let's get through this together!

[oberonsson]

Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring

[anarcho-wormism-deactivated2019]

😮

[garrettauthor]

Oh NO.

[treacleaergia]

me, a sheltered noblewoman: Pray who is that brave knight? Dame Archer:*turns around* me: gasp! *instantly in love*

[dirtyriver]

Alicia Archer

[ex-sang-uination]

my bi heart………

[ohmightysmiter]

I’VE NEVER SEEN THE ADDED PICS

[hrefnatheravenqueen]

[nyx-belial]

*dies*

[garrettauthor]

Oh shit.

[notlostonanadventure]

GAY KNIGHTS

[gafgifs]

[femmedamsel]

Indigo Girls with the Dallas Symphony Orchestra

So I’ll admit I haven’t been to the symphony since high school but I LOVE the Indigo Girls and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see them live! I’ll admit it’s breathtakingly beautiful and I’ve cried- multiple times.

It doesn’t hurt that we are like 20 feet away which is apparently bad if you want to see the musicians faces and not just their feet. But GREAT if you want to see the Indigo Girls! Major thanks to my wife for getting me the tickets for my birthday. Also glad she looks for any excuse to wear a bow tie.

Also an Indigo Girls concert is a breeding ground for single lesbians. Spit and you’re likely to end up u-hauling.

[sapphicbookclub]

Cinders by Cara Malone

Cynthia “Cyn” Robinson has only ever wanted three things: the approval of her stepmother, to save lives as a firefighter, and the attention of her dream girl, Marigold Grimm.

A socialite who most of the town refers to as Grimm Falls royalty, Marigold is so far out of Cyn’s league that even dreaming about her could be considered inappropriate. And Cyn has all but given up on her stepmother, who refuses to accept a daughter who does not delight in wearing dresses and working in her clothing boutique. Cyn tried to be that girl ever since she and her father moved to Grimm Falls, but sooner or later, she always turns back into a pumpkin.

One thing Cyn does have is her job. She’s a great firefighter, and when an arsonist strikes her beloved town, she’s ready to forget the unfulfilled parts of her life and throw herself into work – until Marigold Grimm’s beloved garden becomes the firebug’s next target.

Cyn puts out the blaze, but there’s more than one type of spark flying as Cyn and Marigold meet. Is her dream girl really within reach, or will it all go up in flames?

Genres: retelling, contemporary, romance

Get the book from The Book Depository here!

[femmedamsel]

This is a favorite butch/femme fairytale romance of mine!

[femmedamsel]

OFOS Dating Advice

Who pays?!?

Generally speaking, the person who does the asking for the date SHOULD pay for the date. However, that doesn’t always happen. If you do the asking, then you have the ability to plan the date and you should plan accordingly by selecting an activity or restaurant that is within your budget.

If you’ve been asked on a date, you should be mindful of the cost of what you order. If you go out to eat, don’t order the most expensive item on the menu, and don’t ring up a massive bar tab (seriously, stop at one drink- you want to make sure you’re fully present during the date). Also you should offer to split the check, to be polite. (If you are the one who did the asking and your date offers to pay or go Dutch, you should politely decline and pay for the date).

Remember, if money is tight, there are plenty of low or no cost dates such as a picnic in the park, taking in a local museum, going to a game or play at a local high school and a city supported event just to name a few. Do not overspend in an effort to impress a date. Thinking creatively and outside of the box is far more impressive!

[femmedamsel]

OFOS Advice for Femmes

Find your iconic look.

I think the number one trick of finding your real “adult” style is to find an iconic look. I can’t think of Jackie O without thinking about her iconic massive sunglasses.

Or what about Audrey Hepburn without her short bangs/short hair and iconic solid black clothes looks?

Or Clinton without a pantsuit?

And Diane Keaton has been rocking men’s wear for decades (LOVED it in Annie Hall)

And Twiggy with a pixie cut and mini-dress?

Take some time to pick out an iconic look. It can be a hairstyle, a favorite style of glasses, jewelry, signature color or clothing style. Pick one thing that makes you happy and own it! Rock it! Be confident. I wear the most ridiculous fascinators and hair accessories, but I rock them with confidence and always end up getting a million compliments.

[femmedamsel]

hey there, hope you're doing well. im a butch, about a year into being aware of that fact. my girlfriend think she might be a femme and wants to read more about that. the only real piece of literature i can point her towards is SBB. do you have any other writing/book suggestions for her or any other lesbians wondering if they're a femme?

This is really a great question. And unfortunately I’m not sure how much I can help (but I’ll try).

I want to start with saying there’s not just one way to be “femme.” It’s not so black and white. Some femmes are jeans and sneakers kinda of gals, never wear dresses or makeup and have short hair. Other femmes won’t leave the house without “putting on their face” and the highest heels imaginable. I consider myself kind of a “granola”/“crunchy” femme which basically means I tend to rock a lot of dresses and Birkenstock’s but not a lot of heels and makeup. (Don’t get me wrong I have heels and makeup but I tend to wear both for myself as my wife is 100% oblivious as to when I actually put on makeup). I also have my days when I LOVE dressing vintage or “bombshell” and pull out all the petticoats (which my wife hates but I do them for me not for her). There are tomboy femmes and “high” femmes. Both and everything in between is 100% valid.

Also being femme means different things to different femmes. I don’t feel that my wife and I feed into a heteronormative relationship. Yes she 100% opens the door for me (love it) but when the plumbing gets backed up I’m the one pulling out the tools to fix them. She’s neater than me (I’m a total slob) and does most of the cleaning. Nothing is sexier than a big butch woman with a broom in my opinion. I can’t have children...she’s younger than me and we’ve talked (a lot) about her carrying our child. And physically she’s super butch. I mean over six foot tall and can’t wear women’s clothes even if she wanted to because it’s too hard to find. Can’t stand her hair touching her ears. Sexy and dapper in her boxer briefs and sports bras. But she can cook a killer meal and LOVES (and I mean loves with a passion) hallmark Christmas movies and Disney princesses. Being butch/femme to me doesn’t mean we have to fit in nice boxes.

But that brings me to my biggest complaint of being a femme in the community- invisibility. Sure we have plenty of visibility in the media but that has way more to do with the male gaze and not a lot to do with the actual gay community. And that can suck. That’s part of why I 100% admire my butch sisters. You visibly live your truth every day. You don’t have to come out 10 times a day because most of the time people assume you’re gay. As a femme I feel like I’m constantly coming out of the closet. And I get terrible responses. “But you don’t LOOK gay” or “but you’re so pretty” or “so feminine.” I mean yeah there are perks to that. I don’t face the same level of discrimination at work or socially because I “look straight.”

So yeah I’m a big fan of SBB. It was one of the first books that helped me accept who I am and who I’m attracted to (women masculine of center basically Brienne of Tarth all day every day). But when it comes to resources for femmes specifically there’s not a whole lot out there. There are some articles on Autostraddle and AfterEllen (not a lot). There are a few good YouTube channels. There are a LOT of academic and non academic articles (best resources really) but not a lot of books.

But really, again, femme means different things for different people. My biggest advice (especially as someone in her mid 30s who spent most of her 20s figuring it out) is to just try on different hats. See what you’re comfortable with. Don’t feel pressure to be one thing all of the time. And don’t feel like there’s an impossible standard to fit (as in please don’t ever ask me to understand what contouring makeup is or how to do it-I don’t and not all femmes have to contour makeup). There’s really a lot to be said for learning what you like and what you’re comfortable as and accepting that. If that has a nice neat categories box to check awesome, but very few of us fit into a box all of the time.

There are also some great butch/femme communities where she can meet more femme sisters that might give her a better sense of community (also it’s kind of nice to have a bit of visibility and validation from other femmes and butches).

I know that’s not what you’re asking for strictly. If she likes magazine or academic articles (very helpful when discussing the history of femme), just let her google those but I don’t have a specific source where I would steer her.

[femmedamsel]

Real Talk Valentine’s Day

My awesome butch wife works overnights so I decided to meet surprise her at midnight with a bouquet of chicken nuggets since she’s not the flowers kind of girl.

She was going to reciprocate on Valentine’s night with a fancy dinner out. However I ended up working an extra long day and our dog had an unexpected seizure and she had to rush him to the after hours vet. Nearly $500 later and with her having no sleep, I called off our fancy dinner and came home to both her and our pup totally passed out.

I’ve heard it be said that Valentine’s Day is a “High Femme Holy Holiday” and maybe that’s true. But for me it was a pick up Chili’s to go on the way home, slip into my flannel pjs (it was cold that night!), make myself a mixed berry mimosa and watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved, PS I Still Love You while my wife slept.

And yes I drank both mimosas. And you know what? I’m cool with that. Because that’s life. That’s four years of marriage and nearly a decade of VDays. Because I don’t need Valentine’s Day to know I’m loved. My wife shows me every single day. She shows me when she opens the car door or drops me off at the door so I don’t have to walk through mud. In the way she holds me when I’m sad. In the way she watches Downton Abbey with me although she hadn’t a clue what’s going on. Next week she’s taking me to see Indigo Girls for the first time ever. They are one of my favorite bands and I’ve caught her actually learning their songs over the last month (caught her humming Least Complicated). Not every Valentine’s Day has to be perfect. But this one was perfect for my family.

Also- real talk who else thinks she picked the WRONG guy in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before 2? Am I right? There has to be a third one coming!

[femmedamsel]

Happy Valentine’s Day Y’all! This is me giving my mutual a flowers 💐 🌸 🌺 🌹 because y’all pick me up when I’m down and generally entertain me. Until next V-Day!

[friday-night-cocktail]

This special Valentine’s Day Friday Night Cocktail is a mixed berry mimosa! This is a super easy one (perfect for VDay). Equal parts berry drink and pink bubbly wine. Garnish with fruit. Yummy! Mimosas (usually made with orange juice) have been around since the early 1920s! Perfectly paired with a brunch or for sipping when riding first class on an airline. There’s something about a mimosa that feels decadent.

[femmedamsel]

This is how my Valentine’s Day is looking!

[femmedamsel]

[femmedamsel]

OFOS Butch/ Femme Dating Advice

This advice works for anyone dating, especially at the beginning of a relationship. If you're going to ask someone out on a date, especially a first date, do not ask on short notice. You should always ask a prospective date with ample time in advance, preferably at least a week in advance. You then should plan for the date and not ”wing it.”

This shows your date that you are able to plan. Create a back up plan in case something goes wrong (such as discovering your date is allergic to shellfish when you've arranged for dinner at a seafood place). It demonstrates your consideration of their time and an ability to take the lead when needed.

Also if someone asks you for a date with almost no notice or has no plans (other than Netflix) please note this is a red flag. If someone is genuinely interested in you, you won't be a second thought. You deserve to be treated like the goddess (or nongender conforming diety) you are and not a backup plan.

[bedcorpse]

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

[fiyhi]

11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

[bedcorpse]

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

[thecarrisonfiles]

Awwwww

[where-are-your-source-citations]

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

[madlori]

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

[losethehours]

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

[bouncyerbear]

I wasn’t going to reblog this at first…but it just made me feel too good not to.

[disneywifedisneylife]

“I’ll think of a mermaid lagoon, underneath a magic moon.”

You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!!!! I loved doing this Peter Pan and Wendy Darling Disney Bound recently at Disney World!

[femmedamsel]

From a side blog. My awesome butch wife (Wendy Darling here) and I decided to Disney bound Peter Pan and Wendy Darling on a recently Disney trip.