Augh

Augh Augh Augh

[segamascott]

[pusong-mangga]

[ryebreadedd]

im a protected species you fucking asshole

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[kalichnikov]

[clarificationsw]

literally my dad

[chaussurre]

[softichill]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

[thesadcyborg9million]

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

THE HELL YOU WILL!!!!!!!!

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

the staccato trumpet trills from the end of TANK! but they just keep going

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP

[rose-blumen]

Visit Original Link

I have been prepared for this moment for like 2 months

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

holy shit i am in tears

[evillesbianvillain]

Never ask a man his wage, a woman her age, marjane satrapi what her thoughts on israel were

[omgellendean]

To those who want to know.

[trans-lykanthropie]

Economists will really say things like "[Country] is a failure as they have rendered themselves uncompetitive by providing healthcare to their citizens, adequate pensions to the elderly, and robust safety and labour laws to protect workers. They should consider stopping all that to get a higher AmeriBank Investment Opportunity Score™" and apparently you're not supposed to feel violently sick and full of rage at such a revolting worldview

[spiralmindz]

everytime someone with mild autism or adhd says theyre "reclaiming" the r slur i kill another hostage

[socpens]

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[abalidoth]

6. If x and y are my daughters, then there exists a set that has x and y as elements.

7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.

8. I have exactly one daughter parallel to a given line passing through a given point.

[inthefallofasparrow]

9. If my daughter is hung on the wall in the first act, then in the following one she must be fired. Otherwise don't put her there.

10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.

11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.

12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.

13. My daughter is nine-tenths of the law.

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[asneakyfox]

one of my favorite bits in lord of the rings is something the movies didn't really try to do because it's entirely internal, but sam's carrying the ring and it starts trying to do its work on him, so he's having these intrusive visions of himself marching at the head of a vast and terrible army, and he just starts laughing because, me? samwise gamgee? sam gamgee the general sam gamgee the dark lord are you for real? man i just want to go home and do some gardening. and the ring gets frustrated and it starts trying to figure out other stuff that would actually tempt sam and it's finally like, okay, but hear me out: imagine if you could have...A REALLY REALLY BIG GARDEN

[kuuura]

[shittttyproblems]

not today...

[oneheadtoanother]

[racmune]