Film Bluff

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The seemingly wide open, but easy to predict Meryl Streep's 2014 Oscar picks

They’re trying pretty damned hard to make this seem like the most competitive Oscars in history. At least that’s what the ads are trying to tell us. And sure, there is a nice variety of films and performances to get excited about, but if you really break it down, the race always comes down to a couple legitimate choice. So just sit back, relax, and watch them make the same choices all over again. The same safe, reliable, non-controversial, American Hollywood Awards. Why do we keep watching it?!

BEST PICTURE

The fact the “Inside Llewyn Davis” was not nominated for Best Picture restores our faith slightly in the Academy and makes up for, this year at least, the lack of a 10th nominee. The movie didn’t deserve the nomination, but it seemed impossible that the Academy could curb their insatiable lust for the Coens. The fact that they didn’t just honor them this year with their annual career achievement award is staggering and wonderful. Our wish list here would have certainly included “All is Lost.” but we knew it was a long shot. And just what the hell is wrong with Jeff Nichols in the Academy’s eyes?! He’s been making some of the best American films in the game since he started. Recognize this man! Also, surprising no one, they left us yet again with that unexplainable vacant spot on the list, showcasing the flaw in their strange Best Picture system. Frankly, nine pictures out of 10 is just an insult to filmmakers and film lovers alike. This needs to be fixed, or they need to go back to five nominees.

AMERICAN HUSTLE

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

DALLAS BUYER’S CLUB

GRAVITY

HER

NEBRASKA

PHILOMENA

12 YEARS A SLAVE

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

The Race: GRAVITY vs. 12 YEARS A SLAVE vs. AMERICAN HUSTLE

Who should win: HER

Who will win: 12 YEARS A SLAVE

BEST ACTOR

This category held the most surprises for us. Christian Bale seemed like an afterthought this awards season, taking the back seat to his co-stars. We had him on our wish list, but thought it impossible. Well, dreams really do come true, don’t they? DiCaprio, strange as it seems, seemed like a long shot as well since his film was a “comedy” and it caused some much needed “controversy” this year. Well, we couldn’t be happier to see him on the list and to see his god-like good looks at the awards this year. What’s an awards ceremony without Leonardo? Not one we want to see. Robert Redford and Joaquin Phoenix were the only glaring omissions, but it’s a well stocked category, and there just aren’t enough spots. They might have to think about expanding the acting category, or just nominating the number of people who deserve it. Also, they may look back on this and regret the opportunity to at least nominate Redford in the twilight of his acting career. And the best performance may just have been the non-nominated Joaquin Phoenix in “Her.” 

Christian Bale American Hustle

Bruce Dern Nebraska

Leonardo Dicaprio The Wolf of Wall Street

Chiwotel Ejiofor 12 Years a Slave

Matthew McConaughey Dallas Buyer’s Club 

The Race: Matthew McConaughey vs. Bruce Dern

Who should win: Bruce Dern

Who will win: Mathew McConaughey. Because the Academy never awards the old guy in the twilight of his career. See also: Peter O’toole (Venus, 2006).

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Another stacked category here. Shout out to Barkhad Abdi from our wonderful city of Minneapolis! What an exciting time it must be for him—and a well deserved nomination too. Also notable, Jonah Hill has transformed himself from fat, silly stoner dude into a damn good actor. Here are the official nominations: 

Barkhad Abdi Captain Phillips

Bradley Cooper American Hustle

Michael Fassbender 12 Years a Slave

Jonah Hill The Wolf of Wall Street

Jered Leto Dallas Buyer’s Club

The Race: Michael Fassbender vs. Jered Leto

Who should win: Jared Leto

Who will win: Jared Leto. Because our shameless love of Fassbender almost makes us believe that this category is a race… It’s not.

BEST ACTRESS

Here’s a category we nailed, even though it was a rather easy one. The two golden ladies of cinema, Dench and Streep, will get nominated until they go to that big red carpet in the sky. Adams should be nominated every time she sets foot on a set, and could have probably been nominated as Supporting Actress for “Her” as well. Blanchett’s performance was a tour-de-force and Bullock’s may have been the most challenging performance acting against a green screen in “Gravity.” The only glaring admission which was, coincidentally, the best performance of the year that we saw was Adèle Exarchopoulos from “Blue is the Warmest Color.” Other than not nominating the best performance, it’s excellent nominees here.

Amy Adams American Hustle

Cate Blanchett Blue Jasmine

Sandra Bullock Gravity

Judi Dench Philomena

Meryl Streep August: Osage County

The Race: Cate Blanchett vs. America’s Sweetheart, Sandy Bullock

Who should win: Cate Blanchett

Who will win: Cate Blanchett. This again is a no brainer. They’ve been waiting to give Blanchett the lead actress gold, and Woody finally gave them the reason to do it.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Are we the best? Another category we nailed. And again, pretty obvious stuff. Some people are whining about Oprah, buy come on, she’s the strongest and richest woman in the world, does she really need that nomination. She’s got her own book club for Christ’s sake. That’s the real award in our eyes. Solid performances here across the board, with Squibb giving the most realistic and most surprising performance in the category. But in a category filled with heavy-weights, she’s got no shot. Roberts also gives the performance of her career, but again, the race comes down to two. Lawrence is a force right now, and Lupita is in the most nominated film. All four of the performances deserve the win.

Sally Hawkins Blue Jasmine

Jennifer Lawrence American Hustle

Lupita Nyong’o 12 Years a Slave

Julia Roberts August: Osage County

June Squibb Nebraska

The Race: Jennifer Lawrence vs. Lupita Nyong’o

Who should win: Julia Roberts

Who will win: Jennifer Lawrence. She’s on fire right now and they want her to bring some x-factor to the awards show with her “unplanned” and “cute” speech.

BEST DIRECTOR

American Hustle David O. Russell

Gravity Alfonso Cuarón

Nebraska Alexander Payne

12 Years a Slave Steve McQueen

The Wolf of Wall Street Martin Scorsese

The Race: Alfonso Cuarón vs. David O. Russell

Who should win: Steve McQueen

Who will win: Alfonso Cuarón He’s just the favorite, plain and simple. His film won’t win Best Picture, but they will honor him for his technically game-changing film with the director award.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

The annual Woody Allen award for writing will be populated by the Godfather himself, not presiding of course, but watching on with his lustful, watchful eye…

American Hustle Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell

Blue Jasmine Woody Allen

Dallas Buyers Club Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack

Her Spike Jonze

Nebraska Bob Nelson

The Race: Woody Allen vs. Spike Jonze

Who should win: Spike Jonze

Who will win: Spike Jonze This is the best script and it, surprisingly, will also win the award. Woody is always in the running, but he’s been courting controversy lately, which won’t spoil the fun for Blanchett, but will for him. Also, he’s had a recent win with “Midnight in Paris.”

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2013 Oscars Breakdown: What should have happened

With Meryl Streep's 2014 Oscars officially upon us, we decided that it was time to look back at last year's Oscars and give some thoughts on what we thought should have happened. In this list we'll cover nominations that were missed, ones that shouldn't have happened, and the winners that should have been.

BEST PICTURE

LINCOLN

AMOUR

LIFE OF PI

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

ZERO DARK THIRTY

THE MASTER

SKYFALL

MOONRISE KINGDOM

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

WINNER: LINCOLN

Want to argue "The Dark Knight Rises"? Well let’s see, how about “Avatar," “LOTR: Return of the King," and “District 9"? Let me explain: The Academy loved James Cameron’s over hyped neo-naturalist, erotic alien romp “Avatar” and gave it an astounding nine nominations, including director, picture, and cinematography (yes, I said cinematography). If you can’t see Nolan’s film filling those blockbuster shoes then you need to stop watching films altogether.

Secondly, the Academy loves a trilogy capper that they can shower awards on; this is usually to make up for the first two films they ignored. “The Dark Knight Rises” is considered one of the finest trilogy cappers there is and is part of the greatest trilogy ever made (we’ll argue that later), so why no Best Picture nod? And for christ’s sake, “District 9” of all things was up for best picture. We just wanted to use it as a ridiculous example of an action film up for the award. “The Dark Knight Rises” more than deserves a place in this category as well as a few others for the 2013 Oscars.

Our consensus winner would be "Lincoln," although "The Master" would be our first choice. We figured the mass appeal of the greatest president we've ever had, Spielberg's iconic direction, and a performance for the ages by Daniel Day-Lewis make this the best choice. And a choice that easily could have become a reality. The fact that they chose a film like "Life of Pi" with its fake tiger and heavy handed message was a real surprise, and not as good a film as either of our favorites. I don't think we'll see the day where a film like "The Master" will win Best Picture until most of the old, white voters from the "Academy" die off (fingers crossed) and they bring in some less old, less white voters. Until then we'll just have to suffer through baffling choices like "Argo" as our best film of the year.

BEST DIRECTOR

Best Director is one of the worst categories chosen this year, leaving out the best names in the running in exchange for some exciting new names. We would prefer to see it played out by the big names in a year of big films. Let's blow this thing up a little bit, huh? Ben Affleck is already missing, and while it’s hard to see why the Academy would snub him, we don’t really think he should be on the list anyways, so he’s out. Also out are Michael Haneke, whose direction was truly superb, but maybe too straight and Benh Zeitlin who was a wild card to begin with. Zeitlin has a Best Picture nod and an Adapted Screenplay nod, which is more than enough for the newcomer, so out with him as well. David O. Russell deserves a special award for the performances he was able to coax out of his entire cast who all apparently got nominations last year, so he remains. Christopher Nolan? Why nominate him! If you haven't found a way to do it thus far, then just forget it all together. He'll be the new Scorsese and instead of waiting decades to win the director award he deserved, he'll instead have to wait just to be nominated. Here's the list:

STEVEN SPIELBERG Lincoln

KATHERYN BIGELOW Zero Dark Thirty

SAM MENDES Skyfall

QUENTIN TARANTINO Django Unchained

DAVID O. RUSSELL Silver Linings Playbook

WINNER: STEVEN SPIELBERG

Spielberg’s work is nothing short of amazing in this film, putting him back on top until further notice. You can argue some of the Hollywood moments in this film and the “assume the audience is dumb” cues, but what you can’t argue is the masterful handling of the most iconic President in history. Spielberg creates a catalogue of gorgeous, framable shots that bathe “Lincoln” with grace and honor, giving us the feeling of being in the presence of greatness for the entire film. The weight of every decision is felt as if we were there, carrying the burdens with him, and that’s what great direction can do; it can take us there.

BEST ACTOR

The best actor nominations were pretty solid overall for 2013. Obviously the race was between Daniel Day-Lewis and Joaquin Phoenix, so the rest are just honored with the nomination. The only change we would have made would be John Hawkes for Denzel Washington. While Denzel was good, he just showed too many Denzel-isms in his performance. And that ending! Oy!

DANIEL DAY-LEWIS Lincoln

JOAQUIN PHOENIX The Master

BRADLEY COOPER Silver Linings Playbook

JOHN HAWKES The Sessions

HUGH JACKMAN Les Miserables

WINNER: DANIEL DAY-LEWIS

  BEST ACTRESS

The Best Actress nominations remain exactly the same as the Academy finally got an entire category right. Many big performances here, and Chastain is one of our favorite actresses right now. Lawrence had a big year as well and made “Silver Linings Playbook” the film that it was. Quvenzhane Wallis was out of this world in “Beasts of the Southern Wild," playing a fiery young girl whose world had fallen apart around her. But Emmanuelle Riva stood out with a performance almost too good to believe as a former piano instructor slowly losing control of her body and her life. It was the performance of the year in a year of truly great performances.

EMMANUELLE RIVA Amour

JESSICA CHASTAIN Zero Dark Thirty

JENNIFER LAWRENCE Silver Linings Playbook

QUVENZHANE WALLIS Beasts of the Southern Wild

NAOMI WATTS The Impossible

WINNER: EMMANUELLE RIVA

  BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

The Best Supporting Actor nominations saw some of the biggest snubs, including Leonardo Dicaprio, who gave the best supporting performance of the year. He basically became the lead during his fiery performance in “Django Unchained.” Also missing was Javier Bardem, whose ambiguous villain had Bond on his heels for most of the reinvigorated Bond film “Skyfall.”

LEONARDO DICAPRIO Django Unchained

PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN The Master

CHRISTOPH WALTZ Django Unchained

TOMMY LEE JONES Lincoln

JAVIER BARDEM Skyfall

WINNER: LEONARDO DICAPRIO

  BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

The Best Actress category was chosen correctly as well, with the only real outsider being Nicole Kidman from the dismal “The Paperboy.” We're certainly not going to honor that film in any way so we'll stick with the Academy's choices (what a weird feeling!). The only thing that changes is the winner, who for us would be Amy Adams, who gave a subtle and powerful performance in "The Master." Did Anne Hathaway really win for singing a song out of tune while crying?! Wow! I'm sure even the Academy rethought that award after Hathaway, feigning humble, stepped to the mic and said under her breath--but still loud enough for everyone to hear--"they really do come true". A moment that should rival Sally Field's epic "they really like me" meltdown as the most embarrassing moment at the Oscars. What's that? Melissa Leo? Oh, that's right...

AMY ADAMS The Master

ANNE HATHAWAY Les Miserables

SALLY FIELD Lincoln

HELEN HUNT The Sessions

JACKI WEAVER Silver Linings Playbook

WINNER: AMY ADAMS

  BEST ORIGINAL MUSIC

The only thing we can say here is what a disappointment it is that Johnny Greenwood has been shut out twice in a row for Original Scores that defy all cinema conventions. This is all due to a silly rule: if any single portion of the score was part of a previous work, then that score is ineligible. Twice now, Greenwood has taken small portions of previous, little known works and fit them into his scores for the films “There Will Be Blood” and now “The Master.” Both films owed a lot to those scores, which created an atmosphere which has become part of the P.T. Anderson mystique.

The person that Greenwood would replace on this list would obviously be Alexadre Desplat from “Argo.” That movie’s signature was really the '70s era hits played during the cut scenes, not the recycled thriller score he produced, AND WON FOR! While Greenwood deserves the nomination, he should have won the year he scored "There Will Be Blood."

JOHNNY GREENWOOD The Master

JOHN WILLIAMS Lincoln

THOMAS NEWMAN Skyfall

MICHAEL DANNA Life of Pi

DARIO MARIANELLI Anna Karenina

WINNER: THOMAS NEWMAN

The clear winner this year should have been the nearly perfect score by Thomas Newman. His blending of classic Bond score elements with his own modern emotive work helped make "Skyfall" the greatest Bond film to date. This is another egregious error by an Academy in a category already filled to the brim with such mistakes. Their cup runneth over this year.

  BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Hard to find any room for the nomination we thought the Academy should have made, but we found a way. Out with "Anna Karenina" and in with the gorgeous work of Mihai Malaimare Jr. for “The Master.” We really wanted a spot for Wally Pfister’s work on “The Dark Knight Rises” as well, but the field is too crowded with heavyweights. The work of Deakins, Kaminski, and Richardson have long been admired and continue to be greatly admired here. Miranda’s work surprised more than anyone on the list. The fact that Miranda won for a film that was made mostly on computers is troubling to say the least. We would love to know how much work a cinematographer does on such a CGI heavy film before casting judgement, but either way, the other four nominees in the category we feel were more deserving of the award, but Deakins is the rightful winner. 

ROGER DEAKINS Skyfall

JANUSZ KAMINSKI Lincoln

CLAUDIO MIRANDA Life of Pi

ROBERT RICHARDSON Django Unchained

MIHAI MALAIMARE JR. The Master

WINNER: ROGER DEAKINS

  BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

While Adapted Screenplay was represented fairly well, awarding Chris Terrio's historically inaccurate screenplay (wether or not he was pressured by Affleck or the studio) was inappropriate at best. How about one that is historically accurate, like Tony Kushner's "Lincoln?" Is it perfect? Certainly not. But it remains a wonderful treatment of a historical story not enough people know the intricate details of. 

TONY KUSHNER Lincoln

CHRIS TERRIO Argo

DAVID O. RUSSELL The Silver Linings Playbook

LUCY ALIBAR AND BENH ZEITLIN Beasts of the Southern Wild

DAVID MAGEE Life of Pi

WINNER: TONY KUSHNER

So there you have it, our look-back at the 2013 Oscars and our thoughtful amendments to both nominees and winners. We look forward to continuing our love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the Academy Awards as the end-of-the-year contenders begin rolling out onto big screens everywhere, all hurdling perilously towards Meryl Streep's 2014 Oscars.

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THE WATCH: Malick's under-seen and under-appreciated "To the Wonder" now available on Netflix

It's not often that a film of this beauty goes unnoticed by most everyone, especially when it's from a filmmaker like Terrance Malick. It seems that Malick's latest run of films--his most prolific period by far--has left some people thinking he's stretched himself too thin, making films with no linear or decisive plot. Some are growing weary of his use of narration instead of dialogue and his many shots of people spinning and throwing their arms in the air. While this is an argument that we can understand, if you can clear your mind of expectations, you just might come away with a wonderful experience. Be prepared though for long periods without dialogue and extensive shots of "things" happening in and out of suburban houses. The mere fact that Malick can make a modern Texas neighborhood seem like one of the most beautiful places you've ever seen is enough for us to recommend this film to you. It's beautiful, emotional, and lyrical in its finding of beauty in the mundane and the everyday lives of people. Malick is a master of our time and continues to be so with "To the Wonder."

FILM BLUFF RATING: 5/5

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THE WATCH: Oscar nominated documentary "The Act of Killing" now on Netflix IW

One word to describe 2012's "The Act of Killing": surreal. Here's a synopsis of the 2014 Oscar nominee for Best Documentary Feature from IMDB:

A documentary that challenges former Indonesian death squad leaders to reenact their real-life mass-killings in whichever cinematic genres they wish, including classic Hollywood crime scenarios and lavish musical numbers.

This is perhaps the strangest, most challenging documentary you will see all year, or all decade for that matter. Watch it on Netflix IW here and make your Oscar night more exciting by checking off another nomination from the list.

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Meryl Streep's 2014 Oscars: Who will be nominated?

Here it is! Our nomination predictions for Meryl Streep’s 2014 Oscars! This isn’t necessarily who we’d nominate; it’s mostly so we can brag drunkenly to the man next to us at the bar about just how right we were this year. Sure, he won’t give a damn, and neither will you, but we’re here to talk movies, right?

BEST PICTURE

12 YEARS A SLAVE

AMERICAN HUSTLE

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

GRAVITY

HER

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS

NEBRASKA

SAVING MR. BANKS

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

ALL IS LOST

RUSH

BEST ACTRESS

We all know that look. That’s the face of a winner. She’ll secure her 18th nomination and then go on to win her fourth here. Joining her (maybe) will be America’s Sweetheart Sandy Bullock and the Dame Judi Dench. We’ll toss in Amy Adams, who really should be nominated every time she’s in a movie, and the astonishing turn from Cate Blanchett in Woody Allen’s “Blue Jasmine.” The unfortunate loser here is us though, as Adèle Exarchopoulos’ gritty and emotional performance will not be honored with a nomination. Again, this is probably the best performance of the year, but it was most likely under-seen by voters. A longer shot will be the pitch perfect voice performance from Scarlett Johansson in “Her,” which may be her best work yet. A voice performance would be a first for the Academy and they’re not ones to be ahead of the game, or even change said game.

Amy Adams American Hustle

Cate Blanchett Blue Jasmine

Sandra Bullock Gravity

Judi Dench Philomena

Meryl Streep August: Osage County

Adèle Exarchopoulos Blue is the Warmest Color

Scarlett Johansson Her

BEST ACTOR

Yeah, Tom Hanks will be in here, but for who?! You tell me pal! In a category where McConaughey could have been nominated twice (for “Mud” as well), you know he’s not going anywhere. Dern and Redford are sure to be there as well as the old-timers who’ll give it one last go ‘round. And Ejiofor should probably win the damn thing, but probably won’t. You know where we’re going with this: Leo will get screwed again. And again next year probably. After it’s all said and done he’ll be screwed by the Academy in real life as much as he was screwed on screen in “The Wolf of Wall Street.” They’ll figure out a way to leave him out since it was a “comedy” and since it caused “controversy.” So you’ll see Tom “Vanilla” Hanks up one more time since he was in “Captain Phillips” and sponsor of Hollywood, Disney’s “Saving Mr. Banks.” Damn it all! It also seems hard to find a place for Joaquin Phoenix, who’s been drawing raves yet again for his portrayal in “Her” and his performance just might be the best one. This category is jam packed and has already wasted a spot on Hanks, so it’s a slim chance for Phoenix. Christian Bale did his typical disappearing act, but he seems to be lost in the shuffle of awards season as his co-stars are getting more buzz for some reason. Oh yeah, and Oscar Isaac, turned in a pretty wonderful performance in an underwhelming film by the Coen’s. His turn as bored and stubborn asshole, Llewyn Davis, is well played, but he’s out of his league in this year’s Oscars. Also, has a dude named Oscar ever won an Oscar? TRIVIA TIME! James France has been getting some attention of late for his over-the-top (in the best way) portrayal of golden-grilled wanna be bad boy Alien in “Spring Breakers.” While nominations have come his way, the Academy is probably still a little sore from his super-high co-hosting performance a few years ago. But wouldn’t it be sweet to see the “look at all my shiiiit!” clip during the nominations?

Bruce Dern Nebraska

Tom Hanks Captain Phillips

Chiwetel Ejiofor 12 Years A Slave

Matthew McConaughey Dallas Buyer’s Club

Robert Redford All Is Lost

Leonardo DiCaprio The Wolf of Wall Street

Joaquin Phoenix Her

Christian Bale American Hustle

Oscar Isaac Inside Llewyn Davis

James Franco Spring Breakers

BEST DIRECTOR

Well we know it’ll be the Coen’s. The Academy’s lust continues for the twins and they’ll be nominated for as much as possible. Let’s not forget there were 10 nominations for the re-make of “True Grit.” They’re just looking for any reason to give them awards. I wonder what they owe the Coen’s. What sort of information do they have on the Organization? Cuaron is an obvious choice and just may pull off the victory. McQueen also is a lock in this category and should be Cuaron’s competition. However, late in the game, “American Hustle” is making a big run and O. Russell’s stock is soaring. Who knows what could happen? We figure Payne is an old favorite of their’s as well and will be nominated for his deeply affecting work in “Nebraska.” Outside chances exist always for Scorsese, who would probably just be “meat in the room,” as well as Ron Howard, Paul Greengrass, and Spike Jonze, whose otherworldly “Her” defies category. We would love any of these as well, except Greengrass, who should be eternally punished for making “Bourne 3” unwatchable, literally, you know because the camera just shook its ass off for 2 hours. So, it’ll probably be Greengrass, then, but we don’t really want to write his name in there and jinx it.

The Coen Brothers Inside Llewyn Davis

Alfonso Cuaron Gravity

Steve McQueen 12 Years A Slave

The Shaky-Cam Guy Captain Phillips

David O. Russell American Hustle

Alexander Payne Nebraska

Spike Jonze Her

Martin Scorsese The Wolf of Wall Street

Ron Howard Rush

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

We’re just going to guess Oprah over Sally Hawkins. The others should be pretty obvious, at least in our minds. But since when has the obvious choice suited the voters of the Academy? And don't get us started on Léa Seydoux not being nominated! We don't want to talk about that. If this list overall proves accurate (and we hope it doesn't) then most the best performances will be left out.

Jennifer Lawrence American Hustle

Lupita Nyong’o 12 Years A Slave

Julia Roberts August: Osage County

June Squibb Nebraska

Oprah Winfrey The Butler

Sally Hawkins Blue Jasmine

Léa Seydoux Blue is the Warmest Color

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Again, this is pretty obvious stuff. These nominations are locked in. You can bet on it? It just seems impossible for Jonah Hill to show up on this list, but it's a good list as-is.

Barkhad Abdi Captain Phillips

Daniel Bruhl Rush

Bradley Cooper American Hustle

Michael Fassbender 12 Years a Slave

Jared Leto Dallas Buyer’s Club

Jonah Hill The Wolf of Wall Street

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Criterion teases some of its 2014 releases. Hoping against hope that a couple of those zany illustrations mean the classics “The Deer Hunter” and "Red River." Everything else is a mystery. What do you think? Visit Criterion for more.

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THE WATCH: The charming, understated, and overlooked 'Drinking Buddies' on Netflix IW

Drinking Buddies Joe Swanberg

Anchored by two spot-on performances--those of Jake Johnson and Olivia Wilde--"Drinking Buddies" is a film that is perfect in its tone. What is setup to feel like a fairly traditional romcom effortlessly moves out of such territory and into more nuanced, and emotionally engaging places. Cheers.

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THE WATCH: Classic Comedies on Netflix

WARNING: Some of these films are in black and white! And they don’t involve any penis jokes (we know what our readers like), at least not blatant ones. These are classic and classy comedies from a time when comedies were just made better (no nostalgia involved). You’ve long tried to showcase yourself as a cultured and interesting human being, referencing older entertainment as a way to prove that you’re no child of the moment. You’re a thinker. An appreciater of challenging films. Like the ones in black and white. Or the ones with the little words at the bottom. And the icons of classic cinema that adorn your walls and camera phone cases show that you know a thing or two more than the average, normal, plain ol’ 20-something. Well now, thanks to the internet, you can actually watch some of the movies you’ve lied about watching. We’ve even compiled this list for you, starting with these classic comedies. Here you go:

Some Like it Hot

One of the greatest of all comedies stars three of the biggest names in movies: Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon, and Tony Curtis. This film has it all: the roaring ’20s, gangsters, cross-dressing (ballsy for a comedy then, I’ll wager), show tunes, and one of the longest make out sessions in Hollywood history. And did I mention Marilyn Monroe? Yes, she was an actress, not just a model for home decorations. If you haven’t seen her actually act, shame on you. If you have, re-visit her now, in this giant of cinema. Too lazy to look it up? Here is a link.

FILM BLUFF RATING: 5/5

The Apartment

Scandalous for its time, “The Apartment” was Best Picture winner back when that really meant something. It features a naughty plot involving Jack Lemmon’s apartment (you might have guessed) and its recreational uses that help Lemmon scale the corporate ladder. Because of its Best Picture win, you might think that it’s your typical, tame ’60s couples comedy, but it’s not. Lemmon and MacLaine light up the screen in this scandalous little gem. It is truly a classic and what a Best Picture should look like. Click here, you lazy bastard.

FILM BLUFF RATING: 5/5

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

You’ve heard of this, but you don’t really know what it is. You kids may not know this, but there used to be things called books (look it up) and people used to be famous for them. This film is based on one of those. You’ve seen photos of Hepburn too. She’s forever part of the pop culture lexicon and has been on your computer and wall for all these years to show that you’re interesting and love old films. Problem is, you’ve never actually watched one of her films. It’s time you sat down and found out just what she’s known for. This film will surprise and delight you, perfectly capturing the era from which it came. There is a reason Audrey is an icon (hence on your wall) and this film will show you why. Here’s that link you need so badly.

FILM BLUFF RATING: 5/5

-D.W. Marrier, since a teenager, has always only watched the important films. He never used to watch “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” every day until he wore out the VHS.

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The 10 least good films of 2013

What can be said about the films that we disliked that hasn't already been said? Critics have already had their stab at it, so we'll just watch them bleed. We'll keep our criticisms brief, and the let these pictures speak for the horror of these movies.  

#1 - Cloud Atlas The Siblings Wachowski and Tom Tykwer

While technically a 2012 release, we haven't seen anything nearly as bad since. If the photo above doesn't tell you how ridiculous this film was, from its weak "everything is connected" theme to the awful yellow-face makeup, we dare you to waste three hours of your life on it.

We'll let a quote from the heavy criticisms from MANAA sum things up: "The Asian Americans at the pre-screening burst out laughing because [Hugo Weaving in yellow-face] looked terrible, like a Vulcan on ‘Star Trek.’ It took us out of the movie."

#1 - Oldboy A Spike Lee Joint

Just look at that face! One of pain, confusion, and unwanted arousal (you'll understand if you see it, which you shouldn't). Leave it to Spike Lee to take a great film from another country and make a shitty version of it for us big dumb Americans. Put simply, this film is the butt hole of Hollywood cinema. And just like butt holes, it shouldn't be seen by anyone.

#1 - The Counselor Sir Ridley Scott

Rounding off our trio of #1 worst films is this exercise in futility. Watching this film can only be explained by the horror on Javier Bardem's face as he stares deeply into the abyss of Cameron Diaz's body double. It's a black hole: pointless, terrifying, and indifferent to its victim. And for those of you raging about the misogyny in "The Wolf of Wall Street," this is what that really looks like.

#4 - Trance Danny Boyle

Another bad film, another vagina as a plot point. There's a real theme developing here. Roles for women have sure come a long way, huh? All in all, it was Danny Boyle trying to make a Danny Boyle film, and it turned out just like the photo above: an empty frame.

#5 -The Great Gatsby Baz Luhrman

Oh what could have been, Baz! Much like "The Wolf of Wall Street," it's another film about excess and emptiness for DiCaprio. But this time, there's no entertainment at the party, and the emptiness is felt by the viewer as well. A serious buzz kill from Baz and his flamboyant crew. 

#6 - The Hangover: Part III Scrotum Phillips

Tired. Insulting. Bored. Money-grubbing. And those were just the actors. What else can we say? It made us wish the first two never existed. 

#7 - Grown Ups 2 Who Cares?

Another vacation movie from Adam Sandler. Nice of him to keep Rob Schneider's and David Spade's houses from going into foreclosure.

#8 -The Call Brad Anderson

Can't be the same Brad Anderson who directed "The Machinist," can it? It is? Well then it can't be that bad, right? If only there was a way to explain just how awful it is in a couple of minutes so you didn't have to waste your precious time in the theater.

#9 - White House Down/Olympus Has Fallen Two Different Directors

Remember Pierce Brosnan's "Dante's Peak" and Tommy Lee Jones' "Volcano"? Or that great combo of Bruce Willis' "Armageddon" and Robert Duvall's "Deep Impact"? You see where we are going here. Two great films with the same great plot. AND ONLY MONTHS APART FROM EACH OTHER?! What else could we ask for from Hollywood? Thanks guys!

#10 - The Fifth Estate Bill Condon

This film was doomed from the start, and treats its viewer like a complete moron. Surprisingly, nobody fell for this one. Critics hated it, viewers hated it, and Wikileaks even released their excellent "Mediastan" documentary the same weekend (which by estimates made more money) to crush any final hopes the Hollywood propaganda piece may have had left.

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"$93,000? You threaten a financial structure like this for $93,000?"

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REVIEW: "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues"

"Anchorman 2" is one of the stronger comedies to come along since its prequel. The sheer amount of good jokes was amazing, and the amount of amazing jokes put the comedy in a league of its own. And if the constant joke-running ever started to feel overwhelming, its voyages into strange, sketch-show style shifts made it impossible to predict, even when the humor felt so familiar.

Race humor and 24-hour news network spoofs were the film's themes--if it can even be said to have one. These are the sections where good jokes became great. After all, the truth is always the funniest part. But we needed even more satire. "Anchorman 2" gave Adam McKay and Will Ferrell the opportunity to say almost anything they wanted; there was zero chance that the film wouldn't make a boatload of money; so it's hard to see how more of what made the film so hilarious, and less of the common-denominator humor, could have hurt.

All in all, the funny parts are as funny as it gets, but the lulls stop the film dead in its tracks. No one really wants to see Kanye West, Will Smith, or Drake; it's just showboating at this point. Just because you can get anyone to be in your film doesn't mean you should include just anyone. But no worries, it all picks up again as soon as Will Ferrell shows that beautiful mustached, mug.

That's all we really wanted anyways. The only good reason to not like "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" is to decide before you enter the theater that you aren't going to like it. Again, expectations. Change them a bit, and you'll find another bold, psychedelic, raunchy comedy that should serve as a challenge to comedy writers everywhere: step up your game, or get left in Ron Burgundy's sexy, lavender dust.

  FILM BLUFF RATING: 4/5

--Ryan M. Jasurda is a person. He wrote this review. If you don't like it you can... I'm sorry. I hope you like it. I love you.

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Two legends take the stage. Roger Ebert interviews Peter O’Toole after he is honored at the 2002 Telluride Film Festival (via rogerebert.com).

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These are the Oscar contenders you can't miss, even if you don't care about watching the Oscars

We here at FILM BLUFF have gathered today, as we do everyday, to bring you the films that you’d better get off your ass and go see. For this installment, we’re looking at the most anticipated films of the Oscar season. You’ll notice that some of these films may be out already, so you won’t have to anticipate them very long; you can just run right out and see them. We don’t want to keep you waiting after all.

12 YEARS A SLAVE Steve McQueen

AMERICAN HUSTLE David O. Russell

David O. Russell is a man on a tear. A man possessed. We’re witness to a historical run in cinema with Russell’s last three films, “The Fighter,” “Silver Linings Playbook,” and now “American Hustle.” Need I remind you that “Silver Linings Playbook” made history with a nomination in all four acting categories last year? Last year! This is the quickest Russell has come back with a film in his career and it seems to be a great decision. By all accounts, this could be his finest film and it’s storming the early award talk. Here’s hoping he keeps this streak alive next year. NOW PLAYING

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET MartinScorsese

Again, need we say more? DiCaprio, Scorsese, Hill… Hill? Yes, Jonah Hill, who apparently can really act, is putting on another impressive performance, even after the Academy Award Nominee was added to his name. This formerly NC-17 film (dammit) was trimmed (?) of hopefully not all of its sexiness down to an R-rating, and has been drawing comparisons to Scorsese’s classic “Goodfellas.” Well, the trailer sure looks phenomenal and shows us a manic Dicaprio and a bucktoothed Jonah Hill. Don’t really need to see anymore than that. This team up of Scorsese and Leonardo has given us some of the best films of the last decade and this will hopefully start another decade of game changing cinema. Give yourself the gift of Marty this Christmas. CHRISTMAS DAY

HER Spike Jonze

Spike Jonze returns to us in a bizarre way with the love story “Her,” starring Joaquin Phoenix coming off of what we consider one of the best—and certainly on of the strangest—performances ever caught on film in Paul Thomas Anderson’s “The Master.” Apparently looking to continue with strange performances, Phoenix will play the lead in the film, explained this way:

In the not so distant future, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), a lonely writer purchases a newly developed operating system designed to meet the user’s every needs. To Theodore’s surprise, a romantic relationship develops between him and his operating system. This unconventional love story blends science fiction and romance in a sweet tale that explores the nature of love and the ways that technology isolates and connects us all.

A cell phone love story. It was bound to happen sooner or later and I imagine it has already with that saucy minx Siri now out in the world (we’ve certainly had our moments, the two of us). To excite you even more, the film is also filled with some of the best female actors in the game including Rooney Mara, Olivia Wilde, Amy Adams, Scarlet Johansen, and Samatha Morton. Spike Jonze hit his first feature film speed bump last time out with the problematic “Where the Wild Things Are,” but when you consider that this is the man who brought us “Being John Malkovich” and “Adaptation,” we’re more than excited for this strange little film. Dec 18th - select cities

ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND CONTINUES Adam McKay

Is this the most anticipated of all films this year? In any genre? Well, it certainly is for us. Sequels are always tricky, but for a movie of this stature, it seems impossible. Also, the chances taken by McKay and Ferrell don’t always come off. But 60% of the time, they work every time! (I had to throw one in there, damn you!) When their comedy doesn’t work out so well, we get “The Other Guys,” or on a personal note, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.” However, their track record is much better than most and even their lamer attempts at comedy can be made funny just by Ferrell’s delivery alone. He is certainly one of the funniest and most prolific men working in comedy today and we will always look forward to his films. The time spent last time around with the most chauvinistic group of men in history was historically funny, and this should be no different. Confirmations of nearly all the original cast set this up to be the biggest comedy of the year, by far. Can it live up to the greatness of the first? Not a chance. But even if it comes close, it will be one of the funniest things we’ll see in a while. NOW PLAYING

ALL IS LOST J.C. Chandor

This is certainly one of the biggest surprises of the year. Coming seemingly out of nowhere, “All is Lost” displays a director and actor at the top of their games and gives us one of the best films of the year. We’re lucky to have Redford in cinema today, the man whose Sundance Film Festival brings us so many great films every year. To see Redford still acting at such high level is a wonder to behold. See this film if you can. It will be hard to beat Redford come Oscar time. NOW PLAYING

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS The Coen Brothers

What would Oscar season be without the Coen Brothers. Kind of like Oscar season without Meryl Streep, I suppose, which is a real waste of time. There is a reason they are nominated nearly every time out; they just have something that most directors don’t: a brother. One who apparently keeps the other brother’s head out of his brother’s ass. They are a phenomenon in the movie business, and this film looks to continue their streak of Oscar glory. Hell, they even hired a guy named Oscar just for good luck. And don’t forget the ringer, John Goodman is in there too, along with an Amish-bearded, folk-singing Justin Timberlake. What else do you need?! Whether it deserves it or not, this might just be your Best Picture. NOW PLAYING

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB  Jean-Marc Vallée

Performances featuring such an incredible body transformation like the one Matthew McConaughey underwent are rare and seemed up until this point to be attempted only by Christian Bale. Well, McConaughey does his best Christian Bale here and creates the lovable loser, Ron Woodruff: the real life, bull riding, unprotected sex loving, drug addict who throws the AIDS drug industry on its ear. The performance of the film though belongs to Jennifer Garner, whose no nonsense nurse stands up to, but ultimately falls for, the unexpectedly lovable Ron. Certainly not your average female role. All right, we’re not being serious here folks; it’s not really the performance of the movie. Anyone (literally) could have played that part. The performance of the film, for real this time, goes to Jared Leto, playing the transvestite Bonnie to Ron Woodruff’s Clyde. Leto underwent an incredible transformation all his own dropping more pounds than he could afford to lose, dissapearing completely into the character of Rayon. One only hopes that sacrifices like this will be awarded with a nomination at Meryl Streep’s 2014 Oscar Awards. This film, though imperfect, has enough charisma (courtesy of McConaughey and Leto) to make it an entertaining and affecting drama that is more than worth your time. NOW PLAYING

NEBRASKA Alexander Payne

Alexander Payne’s “Nebraska” nearly fell off the radar completely before roaring to the forefront once again near release time to a flood of adoration for Payne and his star, Bruce Dern. It seems that Payne’s streak is alive and well and we can count on another quirky, life affirming wonder that has become his staple. There’s a warmth to Payne’s films that few directors can achieve, and he’s done it every time so far. He’s an actor’s director, a true independent in the cinema landscape who has created a style all his own. Don’t sleep on this film. With some wonderfully unexpected casting (Will Forte, Stacy Keach, Bob Odenkirk), it looks to be one of the pleasant surprises of the year. NOW PLAYING

AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY John Wells

There she is! Our gracious host for this year’s Academy Awards, Meryl Streep. The golden lady has ascended upon us once again to grace us with another in a long line of sold-her-soul-to-the-devil performances in John Wells’ drama “August: Osage County.” Based on the award-winning play of the same name, this film boasts one of the best ensemble casts of the year, including: Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Chris Cooper, Margo Martindale, and Dermot Mulrone, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Sam Shepard. Phew! Did you get all that? There’s no way that this isn’t one of the best performance movies of the year, even if the movie is a steaming pile. This will be worth the price of admission for the lady of the hour. Watch this American Treasure while you still can. Truly the gift that keeps giving this Christmas. CHRISTMAS DAY

THE GREAT BEAUTY (LA GRANDE BELLEZZA) Paolo Sorrentino

A film of great beauty and grace is Paulo Sorrentino’s “The Great Beauty,” which features one of my favorite performances of the year from Tony Servillo. Criterion recently slated this for release in March of next year which is no surprise since the film was released under Janus Films. The blurb written by Criterion is one of the best I’ve read, so to explain the film, I’ll defer to them:

For decades, journalist Jep Gambardella has charmed and seduced his way through the glittering nightlife of Rome. Since the legendary success of his only novel, he has been a permanent fixture in the city’s literary and elite social circles. But on his sixty-fifth birthday, Jep unexpectedly finds himself taking stock of his life, turning his cutting wit on himself and his contemporaries, and looking past the lavish nightclubs, parties, and cafés to find Rome itself, in all its monumental glory: a timeless landscape of absurd, exquisite beauty. Featuring sensuous cinematography, a lush score, and an award-winning central performance by the great Toni Servillo, this transporting experience by the brilliant Italian director Paolo Sorrentino is a breathtaking Fellini-esque tale of decadence and lost love.

How’s that for a description? If you don’t want to see this film after reading that blurb, then check your pulse. If you have the opportunity, please don’t miss this film. It should be the front runner for best foreign film, especially since “Blue is the Warmest Color” isn’t in the running. I only wish Tony Servillo could get in the mix for Best Actor. NOW PLAYING

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Peter Jackson

For whatever reason, last year’s “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” wasn’t treated like the event it truly was. Apart from the Tolkien fanatics—and even though it made damn good money at the box office—it didn’t carry the same weight as any of the LOTR trilogy films. We think that’s silly. “An Unexpected Journey” looked great, felt great, and was great, dammit. Peter Jackson has given us no reason to suspect that “The Desolation of Smaug” won’t be just as excellent. If you can get past how weird you feel looking at a room full of singing hobbits, you’ll enjoy yourself immensely when the much-discussed dragon appears. Get your nerd on and go! NOW PLAYING

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YOUR MUSTACHE WEEKEND: December 20-22

YOUR STUPID (MUSTACHE) WEEKEND is your best source for films to watch in theaters, on streaming sites, and elsewhere for a particular weekend. Consider it a horoscope of sorts, only some of it’s up to you.

Friday, December 20

Saturday, December 21

By now you’ve shaved that sweet ‘stache which has given you some leeway from your lover to go have some “you time.” It also got you your first bedroom action in weeks (note to self). So take that new found freedom and let that lip breath a little. It’s movie marathon day! After all, this is one of the bigger film release weekends of the year, so get out there! Some of the big releases of the weekend are “American Hustle” and “Inside Llewyn Davis.” Take your pick of one or both and enjoy some of the best cinema of the year.

Sunday, December 22

Your “me time” is officially over and the thrill of the mustache harvest is clearly over for you and your lover. She told you everything would be different once it was gone! But apart from that make out sesh that started during the re-run of “Duck Dynasty” and ended once she realized Jimmy Fallon was on, nothing has changed. So today it’s time to remember your long lost hair lip and honor it by taking the power back. Go see Spike Jonze’s “Her” which is both a tribute to the mustache and to lonely, smartphone love, two things you’re going to need to get used to.

Minneapolis Bonus Activities 

What is a man without his mustache? See the look of pain and confusion above? That is you. So, if you’re nearby, take your re-sprouting mustache to see Stanley Kubrick’s “Barry Lyndon” at the wonderful Trylon Theater, playing all weekend. Also, you shouldn’t miss “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” playing at the Great Clips IMAX theater at the Minnesota Zoo. This screen is six stories tall, which makes Bilbo look almost life sized. Don’t miss this screen; it is truly epic!

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New poster for "The Grand Budapest Hotel" causes anxiety, arousal

Excitement can be a funny thing. Arousal, unfortunately for us, also turns out to be funny most of the time. The new poster for Wes Anderson's "The Grand Budapest Hotel" has surfaced and with it the confusing and overwhelming feelings that go along with the anticipation of a new Wes Anderson picture. Just seeing the hotel itself in the first posters for the film was enough to make us giggle like school girls over the possibilities. But now, the gauntlet has been thrown down and the entire cast has been revealed to us in a character montage... on hotel keys?!

C'mon! It's just too much to handle at this point. How can he balance so many big names? Is there any way that this won't be his best film? Is that a real hotel? Can I stay there? Look at all those mustaches! The anxiety over the occasion quickly turned to arousal (as it usually does) however, and things just got weird from there. Needless to say we're excited for this film to come out next year. It's got all the elements to become yet another classic from Wes Anderson and we expect it to be nothing less, for he can do no wrong.

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THE WATCH: Playing catch-up with 2013's overlooked films

We would like to take the opportunity to feature some notable films from 2013 that are showing up on instant watching and VOD services all across this great and beautiful world. Some of these films may have aspirations for Meryl Streep’s 2014 Oscars, some are by notable directors, and others made some waves at the awards circuit earlier in the year. No matter what, they are worth watching. Here goes:

Prince Avalanche David Gordon Green

Frances Ha Noah Baumbach

Noah Baumbach's "Frances Ha" was a breath of fresh air this last year, re-eshtablishing director and star Greta Gerwig as something special in independent film. Baumbach had a good run with the strange and wonderful "The Squid and the Whale" and his debut "Kicking and Screaming." On the other hand, there's "Greenberg," and just who the hell understood what that was all about? That film also starred Gerwig, and after a string of underachievers we were wondering if her potential as an indie darling would ever come to fruition. Well, all rights were wronged from the first frames of "Frances Ha" as Gerwig put together one of the performances of the year sure to be nominated at Meryl Streep's 2014 Academy Awards. This film is a real joy to watch and harkens back to Woody Allen's classic films (that he's still making now) filled with playful dialogue and awkward social situations. And all this in glorious black and white! I just lost most of you didn't I? It's also subtitled... Just kidding, It's in glorious english! I just wanted to see if I could lose everyone there for a minute. Are you a fan of film? A real fan? Well then watch this film right now. "Frances Ha" is now available on Netflix Instant Watch.

Computer Chess Andrew Bujalski

Now just who the hell is Andrew Bujalski and what right does he have making one of the year's most intriguing indie films? Google told us he is the "King of Mumblecore." Sure. In any case, Bujalski's been making strange, endearing, and truly "indie" films for some time now, and "Computer Chess" finds him at the pinnacle of his practice, combining his awkward bend with his penchant for adolescent relationship studies and... drugs! In his latest work, what begins as a Christopher Guest-style study of life's quirkiest characters and their hobbies eventually gives way to a comedic, almost "Pi"-like obsession (maybe it's the black-and-white) for the main character, who struggles to maintain his relationship with his idol, to build one with a cute girl, and mostly try and figure out why his computer chess program keeps failing him; and all of this in the middle of the strange, trippy 1980s world Bujalski has placed us in. Watch it here on Netflix Instant Watch.

Only God Forgives Nicolas Winding-Refn

Now, we'd like to challenge you a bit. If you saw 2011's best film "Drive," then you'll certainly want to see this, right? It's a stylistic follow-up, right? Wrong! If you know anything about director Nicolas Winding-Refn, he doesn't like to repeat himself. In nearly every way he's created something new; call it a dark and evil twin to the ultra-stylish and ultimately optimistic "Drive." Be prepared not to be prepared for what you're about to see: a strange, somewhat slow and brutal film. All in all, it's worth your patience, and we here at FILM BLUFF think this may just be a masterpiece in waiting, with multiple viewings in order before the full glory hits you. "Only God Forgives" is available now on Netflix Instant Watch.

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