leeches for sale

hi, my name is kel. they/them 💉

[sexhaver]

The majority of people who report seeing ghosts are women. So why don’t you believe women? What other things do women report experiencing in great numbers do you think they’re lying about?

SAVOIR FAIRE [Legendary: Failure] - Orgasms.

[mirakurutaimu]

in order to compete with X, the Everything app, we have launched Bluesky, the Nothing app. Claude my little chudlet please program a function that makes all the mean trans people who bully me on the computer have an allergy flareup

[barbreypilled]

when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did

[cryptotheism]

[guy whose parents are a Christmas elf and a dracula]: I just feel like I don't belong anywhere

Me: that's rough man I'm sorry

ElfDracula: I'm still vhite though, right?

Me: you gotta get off those forums man

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

me getting pensive head

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

[sacred-portal]

[louisegluckpdf]

i was born in the absolute RIGHT generation if i had to have children i would KILL MY SELF!!!!

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[clytemnestraaa]

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

[elokitties]

[dogpuppy]

[arach-tinilith]

day 1 of having an oc: i think shes gonna be an elf!

day 600: ive been pondering the elfs miscarriage

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[speedlimit15]

Of all the tags on this post this is the one that worries me most

[toshio]

the MOST iconic 20 seconds of any anime dub i’ve ever experienced

[misfit-freaks]

EVEN THE FUCKING MUSIC OH MY LORD

[femmeslash]

i looked through the notes to see what this was (it’s cyber city oedo 808) and ended up crying laughing at the wikipedia article for it

[femmeslash]

every so often people start liking and reblogging this post from me, and every time i forget how funny it is until i watch it again. hey bentn. don’t crap ya paants if ya see a vampire out deeah. get lost. you wouldn’t recognize a gaddam vampire if one jumped up and bit you on the end of your fucken dick. So just get off my back.

[the most violently 1980s synthesizer sting i have ever heard]

[badassdemonsword]

[rockabillywife]

If I was a gay guy I’d have 7 boyfriends and none of them would like me

[thevampirelustat]

dare i say, anne rice.

[thomasmomwell]