I'll lick your floors till they shine

Reblog things I like and shitty memes. Name based on my dog who refuses to stop liking my floors

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[memeuplift]

[mossspores]

life if comes fucks me

[thelowpoly3dbirdfromdaytonausa]

[zekedms]

I'm so old i remember when people liked using Windows

[poupon]

That's because they stuck these bad boys to them

[zekedms]

Oh wow, that IS better.

[parkchanwoohoo]

[beemovieerotica]

[henstomper]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[impossiblepackage]

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

[henstomper]

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

[grimlygroovy-deactivated2015051]

2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago

[lordoftablecloths]

hey op guess what

[lordoftablecloths]

oh nevermind you’re died

[rubykgrant]

[pangur-and-grim]

"Claws like sharpened bananas shot toward me."

this sentence is

good

bad

Voting ended onJun 20

[pangur-and-grim]

ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!

[pangur-and-grim]

YOU DO IT ON ONE OF THESE! OBVIOUSLY!!!

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

a lot of people are very angry with me over this, but I'd just like you to sit down and imagine a banana. maybe a green one so it's extra firm. if you need it to be harder, you can toss it in the freezer.

and that brown end? the hard bit? pencil sharpener. or sharpened with a blade. are you following me? now, attach six of those to a harpy.

yeah. I think you're seeing the vision. you can apologize to me any time you're ready

[pangur-and-grim]

check in time:

I see the vision

it's still really bad

Voting ended onJul 11

[pangur-and-grim]

GOD DAMN IT!

[pitchdarkedge]

[nomiqbomi]

when you finally drive those meddling kids out of town and they come back with a goth 

[meangirlnurse]

[whoviankendokaqueenbeewithbooks]

lol

[dogpuppy]

[liquidpaperfoundation1]

My Very Punctual Wife Gets My Night Worm can also be used to remember the order of the planets in the solar system!

[cryptid-on-a-string]

Mercury Venus Pearth Wars Goopiter Maturn Nuranus Weptune

[thatguyvitor]

She maturn on my pearth til I goopiter

[stickyfrogs]

Tweezer Cricket Dinner with Trevor and Beverley!

[tittyinfinity]

Bro.

[stroebe2]

[victusinveritas]

[byjove]

resteraunts will call themselves gastropubs and eateries so they don’t have to spell restarunt

[dapperdonuts]

[byjove]