Diary of Flowerboi

public journal of my thoughts and feelings • 25 • transmasc ftm enby • they/he • soulaan • audhd • aspec

[classycookiexo]

[enrobed1]

[wanderingmind867]

The nuance of things like romantic and platonic relationships is fascinating to me. I'm like 90% sure I'm aromantic (or quoiromantic, aegoromantic or something on that spectrum), but that's precisely why I find this all so fascinating. The marks of a romantic relationship can be all the same marks of a platonic relationship. Worrying about someone? Saying I love you? Showing physical affection? Never wanting anything bad to happen to them? What makes these things inherently romantic or platonic? I'll tell you: nothing. The answer is nothing.

So for me romance and a platonic relationship are just the same exact thing. And if you were to tie my hands behind my back and force me to say something different, here's the extent of my flexibility: romantic love is like the natural extension of platonic love. But one can't happen without the other. To get to romance, you have to at least dabble in the platonics. That's how I view it, at least. Maybe some other people view it differently, but this is just the only way things make sense to me.

[wanderingmind867]

I find that romance is hard to define, while sex is just sex. Sexual stuff is way easier to understand. It's easier to understand, which made it easier for me to come terms with my own sexuality. But with the romantic attraction scale... it's way harder to figure stuff out, because I don't even know what romance really is. I don't know how to define it, I don't know what it really is. That lack of knowledge is partially why I think I'm aromantic, since I never, ever feel romantic attraction in real life. But because I know so little about romance, it's not something I feel confident discussing. So it's all just confusing to me. I wish it was as simple as the sex revelation was. I hate complicated things like this. sigh...

[backgroundasexual]

I can't believe it's 2025 and we still don't have a way for me to give my empty uterus to a trans woman who wants to carry a child

For Sale: Ace Womb, Never Used

[theweightofdivinity]

Bradshaw writes that many of us were raised by parents who were emotionally children themselves, unable to offer what they never received.

The mother wound, through his lens, often manifests as toxic shame, a deep-seated belief that “I am not enough to be loved.” Healing this wound doesn’t begin with forgiveness or reconciliation, it begins with reparenting the inner child. This means offering ourselves the attunement we once lacked, creating internal safety where chaos once lived, and learning to validate our emotional experience without waiting for permission.

In the realm of somatic psychology and trauma studies, the mother wound is understood not only as emotional, but cellular. Researchers have shown that emotional imprinting begins in utero. A mother’s nervous system, her stress, fear, or disconnection, becomes the child’s first environment. That imprint can shape a lifetime. This isn’t about blame. It’s about biological empathy, the way the body echoes what it was first immersed in. From a spiritual psychological view, this isn’t a punishment, it’s a soul contract.

You come through this bloodline to interrupt the pattern, to transmute inherited pain into embodied power.

[bipolarmango]

My ADHD: I cannot clean it feels like putting my hand on a hot stove

My autism: Things aren't in order I feel like I'm going to explode I have to clean there has to be order

My ADHD: I feel like going to explode because I physically cannot clean my brain won't let me

Me: Guess we just feel horrible then

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

This is why I can never clean my room.

[flowerboi23]

It’s been a minute. I feel like I thought I was attracted to men bc I always felt like I wanted their attention, and when they would give it to me I felt happy and giddy. But, when those men would be looking for a romantic relationship after some time talking, I felt the ick, and was immediately not interested, and would withdraw.

I have terrible daddy issues, where my father was abusive to my mother, sister, and I. My mom had her moments too, don’t get me wrong. Anyway, I always craved his attention bc I felt like if I received anything from my father it was bc I worked hard, and became deserving of his love.

I am realizing that I don’t actually have an attraction to men, but rather an attraction to their attention, and how they can provide for me to supplement the father-like attention I rarely, if ever, received from dad.

Has anyone else thought that they liked men, but then realized they didn’t but just craved the attention they never received from their father?

[yeehawpim]

having a ponder about being aromantic and the kinds of friendships or qprs I might want to have

[tremendously-crazy]

"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff

[just-another-living-ghost]

I hate how deeply I crave affection and intimacy but how quickly I run from it. I hate that I wasn't loved in the way that I needed as a kid. I hate that I don't know how to be loved now

[littlest-bugz]

On Self Isolation, and the fear of being vulnerable

[no images or poetry belong to me. credit help is always appreciated!]

[etherealspacejelly]

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

[soulmvtes]

softness is so attractive to me

[depressedpurgatoryprincess]

[silvermoon424]

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

shoutout to all the neurodivergent people who have been told by neurotypicals “but it’s not even that bright” or “it’s not even that loud in here”