Fluke of the Universe

Whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Queer fandom old - 18+ interaction only please, online when I'm conscious, tired all the time. 

[flukeoftheuniverse]

The worst thing about being a distant bystander to Some Bullshit perpetrated by someone who has made a name for themselves is that every so often the perpetrator of That Bullshit will show up somewhere random and I'll see their name and think "Ugh, that fuckin' human" but then what do I do with that? The Bullshit is well in the past. The friend upon whom That Bullshit was perpetrated has moved on with their life. I wasn't involved at all in That Bullshit. I have no proof that That Bullshit has been repeated or that the Bullshit Perpetrator has continued to Perpetrate Bullshit at all. But grr. That fuckin' human.

[flukeoftheuniverse]

Today I was talking with some coworkers about weird commercials of our youths and I mentioned the If You Tell One Lie ad and both of them looked at me like I was speaking in tongues and I was like "Wait... is it me? Was this a fever dream?" But no. It exists. It was a weird ad put out by the Mormon church about not lying to your parents and it involves flashlights and synchronized jazz dancing. Weirdest commercials, folks? Anyone else remember this one?

[zennihilation]

Who, Me?

make this picrew and put your name in the incorrect quote generator!

Saw this on @handsignals' tumblr and could not wait to do it!

i need to cut my hair so gd bad. i also need a kuromi, it's so weird i don't have one.

Tag game tags below! This is voluntary! If you want off, dm me and no questions asked. If you want on, please view the horrors of my tag list manager.

@flukeoftheuniverse, @mageofquandrix, @biowaredisasterbisexual, @juniper-and-dragonthorn, @jukkaricity, @sandcastlekings, @tarasmom, @shadowknight19kay, @antivan-sprig, @serialsforbellara, @handsignals, @waxlyricalmoon, @pixiedurango, @apothe-cary, @amoaliquis, @larknnightingale, @vishantikaffar, @blackwall-my-tiny-husband, @davrinsleftpectoral, @jenn2d2, @sorcerousadventurer, @sandcastlekings, @curiouswisp, @tieflingsorcerer , @serensama, @mushrooms-x-moss , @redaresss, @sunny374940, @lycheecatee, @kabsey, @hedwigoprah, @chaosherald, @wickedadaar, @viagosbrother

[flukeoftheuniverse]

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Fluke: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

If fuckin' only. Also, thanks to the creator of that picrew for including my fave angry penguin.

Thanks for the tag, @zennihilation

[wheeloffortune-design]

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

[deus-ex-aquila]

all right, I think I got this, I've got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

[varangianviper]

[wheeloffortune-design]

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

[xthehatchick]

holy shit

[finnslay]

This is the only correct way

[transarsonist]

[Patchnotes]

swapped purple in bisexual and asexual flags for better saturation matching and color theory

[flukeoftheuniverse]

Back when I was working at The Coziest Branch Library (which is a nice way of saying it's too damn small), I would get local teens coming in asking about volunteering in order to complete community service time that our high schools require to graduate. Two years after I started, I got this fantastic volunteer. She was great. She was also a senior. The following year she brought me her younger sister.

The sister volunteered for two years. Then she brought me her younger sister. This continued for about ten years. TEN YEARS with one family passing down the volunteer role at my branch library. I'd get each for a year or two before I'd get an email asking "Hey, could my sister volunteer there next year?"

Almost two years ago I moved on from that branch to a different one and now I'm running the whole children's department. This week the youngest sister, now about to start college, brought me her younger brother. The last of the siblings. The timing feels poetic, tbh. I am so pleased that this family has stuck with me for all this time.

[sexhaver]

not my pic but this is the cleanest Storrowing i've ever seen. hats and roofs off to this unknown rental truck driver for full sending it with 0 hesitation

[flukeoftheuniverse]

So I took in the photo well before I read the caption and thought "That truck's been Storrowed. Even if it didn't happen on Storrow Dr. it was still Storrowed." And there we are. Yup.

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[nudityandnerdery]

And if you ever wonder what some of those varieties are like...

The industry-standard, definitive, inarguable guide to ranking and reviewing munching apples. Curated by comedian Brian Frange.

[assignedfaggatbirth]

listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today… i’m so very sorry

[assignedfaggatbirth]

If this post gets 100 notes I’ll recreate the entire song through memes

[assignedfaggatbirth]

OK so I’ll do my best to get this done soonish–it may be a week or two, but I’m doing it

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

My masterpiece… is complete.

[chidi-anaqonye-deactivated20181]

op did not put in this much work for 160 notes

[natus-ex-astris]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame got one for ya!

[bashcrandicoot]

Based on a true story

[zennihilation]

@flukeoftheuniverse if you told me this, it wouldn't even be the worst work story you've told me.

[flukeoftheuniverse]

I mean. I've definitely dealt with weirder phone calls. And in-person interactions.

As for the Fae and libraries, we believe in access to all. The big thing people (and the Fae, I presume) often forget is that impeding access to others negates that. So as long as you're not stopping anyone else from gaining access, you too can use the library! Fae, demons, etc. included.

[lysimachias]

❌ Is this ship well supported by canon

❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

✅ Does the thought of these characters standing next to each other make you want to chew concrete and then break apart a nearby automobile with your bare hands

[flukeoftheuniverse]

#marcus x methos#the highlander ship me and exactly one other person cares about idgaf

Look, we built this ship and we will ride out to sea on it.

[zennihilation]

keeping it afloat single handed for twenty years 🙂‍↕️

[flukeoftheuniverse]

Twenty years is nothing. Look how old both of them are.

[zennihilation]

when you're right you're right. they're the old ones, obviously.

[flukeoftheuniverse]

We are but youths in comparison! Practically toddlers! We're so young! YOUNG!

[lysimachias]

❌ Is this ship well supported by canon

❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

✅ Does the thought of these characters standing next to each other make you want to chew concrete and then break apart a nearby automobile with your bare hands

[flukeoftheuniverse]

#marcus x methos#the highlander ship me and exactly one other person cares about idgaf

Look, we built this ship and we will ride out to sea on it.

[zennihilation]

keeping it afloat single handed for twenty years 🙂‍↕️

[flukeoftheuniverse]

Twenty years is nothing. Look how old both of them are.

[lysimachias]

❌ Is this ship well supported by canon

❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

✅ Does the thought of these characters standing next to each other make you want to chew concrete and then break apart a nearby automobile with your bare hands

[flukeoftheuniverse]

#marcus x methos#the highlander ship me and exactly one other person cares about idgaf

Look, we built this ship and we will ride out to sea on it.

[radiqueer]

Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget

[aromanticduck]

Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me

Reciprocal: you were there for me when I needed help, and I’m going to do the same for you, it doesn’t matter if one of us needs more or is capable of less, because the point is not equivalent exchange but mutual care

[poolsidescientist]

If there's one thing I will never understand it's Lord of the Rings fans wanting to be an elf in Middle Earth. I mean, sure they're graceful and pretty but they live too damn long and having to witness an eternity of stupidity from the species around them. Like, imagine being Elrond and basically witnessing a cringe compilation of the human race. Nope. No thanks.

[attackfish]

I've been witnessing a cringe compilation of the human race my whole life. Elrond is not special.

[flukeoftheuniverse]

When I was young I wanted to be an elf: Mysterious, tragic, unknowable, ethereal, lives forever, etc. Now that I am firmly middle-aged, I just want to be a hobbit: Comfortable, well-fed, cozy in my home, down for a party but also down for a good night in with no visitors. The high AF is optional and I don't partake but it's there for anyone who wants it.

[lizardsfromspace]

Star Trek fans, 2026: "Ugh, I hate Starfleet Academy! We need real Trek like we had in the 90s, like Voyager."

Star Trek fans, 2000s: "God these internet reviews are right, Voyager was literally unwatchable! It wasn't real Trek, like DS9!"

Star Trek fans, 1990s: "They don't even go anywhere! This oddly joyless book about Trek bloopers literally said the show should be called Bajor: Terek Nor! It wasn't real Trek, like TNG!"

Star Trek fans, 1980s: "TNG isn't even real Star Trek. Only the original is real Star Trek."

The world's largest Lost in Space Fan, 1966: "This upstart program will never displace Lost in Space in the hearts and minds of the people! Lost in Space will be the number one space opera show FOREVER!"

[dykebeckett]

[flukeoftheuniverse]

I've got some pretty strong texture aversions when it comes to food. Like, I can stare down a thing that I know will taste good and never manage to actually try it because I just know the texture is "wrong" for me.

Oatmeal is one of those texture things. I just cannot fathom being able to stand the texture. At all. Same for cream of wheat. But also, warm breakfast grains! Don't warm breakfast grains sound good on a cold winter morning in New England? They sure as fuck do!

And then it occurred to me: Wheat and oats are not the only grains one can make warm and tasty. What about barley? I fuckin' love barley. The texture is ideal and the flavor is delicious. So I made myself a pot of barley over the weekend and added milk and pecans and sunflower seeds and cinnamon and allspice and nutmeg and cardamom and I have been reheating portions of it for breakfast all week and let me tell you, that is perfect. I could eat it all day every day.

My point isn't hey, try barley (though you certainly can if you want), it's that if you have texture or flavor aversions to common foods, there are often alternatives out there and it's worth trying to find them.

[zennihilation]

you've heard of an unreliable narrator but what about an unreliable reader who sometimes forgets where they are or what just happened or who the characters are or where they put the book down or sometimes just gets really sleepy