I love chaos (*v*) @forever-drowning-in-dimpleofdoom - Tumblr Blog

Dokgo Rewind 180908: ✩✩✩✩✩ #1 on Kakao and Oksusu - Sehun’s acting skill: naturally portraits the twin brothers, one is a sweet mama boy Kang Hu and another one is a wild boy with a big heart Kang Hyuk. - Problem in society: bullying. - Besides the breathtaking action scenes, the cutely silly acts of these handsome gangs will make you laugh.

#osh #exo

nouniqueidentity

You know what I really want to do

walk through an abandoned mall

I’m serious look at these pictures

This is story material scenery

gUYS

(hhhhh look at the rest)

#this is very inspirational #nika

uijinsgf-deactivated20150718

searching for a specific video but only finding it in crap quality

finding the video you’re searching for in hd but no subtitles

finding the video you’re searching for in hd but with crappy subtitles

finding the exact video you want with good subtitles but then

“this video is not avaible in your country"

#exo #subtitles

rayinberkeley

These exchanges between a bigot named Brendan Sullivan, and a heroic troll named Robert Graves, will be the best thing you read all day, I promise.

yanagoya

Best thing

#the facebook troll

absolutniemand

In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.

lannisterapologist

no you don’t understand we actually do say that

the-lonely-scottish-guy-deactiv

i crashed my car into a bridge

THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME

inkcaviness

We also say “That’s not my beer” for “That’s none of my buisness” and I think that’s beautiful

generationiii-blog

is germany even real

kkatkkrap

My roommate dated a German. When I was making dinner one night, he asked my roommate, “this food… does it taste?”

At our confusion, he explained that in Germany, food either “tastes” or “does not taste”. Which he then said he supposed said something about German food.

balrog1911

To be fair we do say “it tastes good” and “it tastes bad” and many variations thereof, but when we want to be succinct, then yes, it just tastes or doesn’t taste.

Other fun turns of phrase in German include:

“Ich versteh’ nur Bahnhof” = “I only understand train station” for when you’re confused

“Hast du Tomaten auf den Augen?” = “Have you got tomatoes on your eyes?” for when someone’s not seeing the obvious

“Auf die Schippe nehmen” = “Take someone on a shovel”, basically means to take the piss out of someone

“Du gehst mir auf den Sack” = “You’re walking on my sack” for when you’re pissed off

quasikool

the world is beautiful

apfelgranate

also there’s two more variations of “Du gehst mir auf den Sack.” (btw by sack we mean testicle. yeah.)

“Du gehst mir auf den Senkel.” = “You’re walking on my shoelace(s).”

“Du gehst mir auf den Keks.” = “You’re walking on my cookie.”

ALSO WE HAVE THE WORD “DOCH” (basically means yes, but in response to someone saying no) AND IT IS A FUCKING TRAGEDY THAT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS NO EQUIVALENT

wonderfulnonsense

I MISS ‘DOCH’ SO MUCH you basically have to settle for “does so” or “yes it does” or something not half as succintly defiant I also miss “aneinander vorbei reden” = “to talk past each other”, meaning when people are completely missing each other’s points / talking about two different things. It’s such nice imagery.

sherlylikeswaffles

And we call stupid people “Hans Wurst” = “Hans Sausage” (no matter if you are boy or a girl)

Yeah, if we are surprised we say “Holla die Waldfee” = “Holla the forest fairy”

rebecca2525

Seriously though, how do children grow up without “doch” und “trotzdem”?

kiwithetraveller

Holy mackerel I love this soooo!!

halo-3

Also we have “noch in Abrahams Wurstkessel sein,” or “to still be in Abraham’s sausage pot”, which is basically saying you haven’t been born yet. As in, when Carter was president of the US, I was still in Abraham’s sausage pot.

thatswhywelovegermany

I know “noch als Quark im Schaufenster liegen”, “to be still on display in the shop window as curd cheese” for not having been born yet.

cuddlyaxe-deactivated20190218

Or there is the slightly less icky “mit den Mücken fliegen”, “to be flying with the mosquitoes”, or something my uncle says in his dialect: “Sternle putze”, “to be cleaning stars”.

firlachiel

Let’s not forget fremdschämen - to be ashamed/embarassed on behalf of somebody else.

Or our wonderful alternatives to calling somebody “Wimp”: Schattenparker, Turnbeutelvergesser, Warmduscher… (somebody who only parks in the shadow, somebody who forgets their gym bag, somebody who only showers with warm water… the list is endless)

sprachtraeume

I didn’t even know all of these and I am very german. This post is like next level german.

#german

sixpenceee

ALIEN ANATOMY (Link to story)

“What did you bring on our ship?”

“A specimen from the desolate planet we visited. I found it among some ruins, I think it might be one of the surviving sentient species.”

“Sentient? Look how unruly it’s behaving, the thing is but an animal.”

“Wait, do you see it leaking fluid from those gashes? I think it might be wounded, that would explain the odd behaviors.”

“What do you expect me to do? I have not the slightest clue how these creatures work.”

“Try something, we can’t let it bleed to death, especially if it might be the last of its kind.”

“Fine, I’ll close the wounds, but I can’t promise anything.”

The small human child laid still on the operation table. His mouth, nostrils, and eyelids had been stitched closed with such precision that he almost appeared to have a blank sheet of skin instead of a face. The alien creature looked over its work with pride.

“The specimen seems calmer now, have we saved it?”

“Only time will tell, only time will tell.”

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (Link to story)

Everyone loves the first day of school, right? New year, new classes, new friends. It’s a day full of potential and hope, before all the dreary depressions of reality show up to ruin all the fun.

I like the first day of school for a different reason, though. You see, I have a sort of power. When I look at people, I can…sense a sort of aura around them. A colored outline based on how long that person has to live. Most everyone I meet around my age is surrounded by a solid green hue, which means they have plenty of time left.

A fair amount of them have a yellow-orangish tinge to their auras, which tends to mean a car crash or some other tragedy. Anything that takes people “before their time” as they say.

The real fun is when the auras venture into the red end of the spectrum, though. Every now and again I’ll see someone who’s basically a walking stoplight. Those are the ones who get murdered or kill themselves. It’s such a rush to see them and know their time is numbered.

With that in mind, I always get to class very early so I can scout out my classmates’ fates. The first kid who walked in was basically radiating red. I chuckled to myself. Too damn bad, bro. But as people kept walking in, they all had the same intense glow. I finally caught a glimpse of my rose-tinted reflection in the window, but I was too stunned to move. Our professor stepped in and locked the door, his aura a sickening shade of green.

THE MONSTER UNDER THE BED (Link to story)

My daughter, Katy, is 6, and has an overactive imagination. She regularly crawls into my bed at night with my husband and I, telling us about the monsters in her room. One, she said, has a black body that looks almost blob-like, with yellow skin on his face and big black eyes. It pins her to her bed and touches her roughly with black hands, sometimes choking her until she can’t breathe. The other one, with red scaly skin and yellow eyes, is really nice. It lives beneath her bed and sits with her after the black monster visits; she says it makes her feel safe again.

This morning I went to do the laundry, and found blood on Katy’s pajamas. I rushed to her room to talk to her, but instead vomited once I flicked on the light. My husband’s body lay in pieces, pools of blood taking up most of the floor. Katy curled up in her bed, her hands over her ears and her eyes squeezed shut. Next to her was the red skinned monster she spoke about. It stared at me with sad eyes, and too shocked to do anything else, I stared back. He started to move towards me and all I could do was stand still, even when it gently placed a clawed hand on my shoulder then crawled underneath the bed.

I looked down at my husband, now noticing his black dressing gown that was torn to shreds, and the rest of the pieces of the mask he was wearing, small yellow pieces.

Here is the first COMPILATION OF SHORT CREEPY STORIES

#this is very inspirational #liv

helpfulharrie

Source: AuroraCarina-Chan

zannyblogging-deactivated201311

shoooting-angels

PERFECT SAVING THIS FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

luminousasthemoon-deactivated20

I actually really like the idea of requiring an extra set of pectoral muscles for proper wing function. I would assume it would also require additional shoulders across the shoulder blades and back as well.

#this is very inspirational

secretoctopus-deactivated201912

standupcomedyblog

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

#what's new pussycat #vid rec

camunki

Time-stagnates-here suggested I make a Winter Soldier thing with that gorgeous Star-Spangled Banner in the minor key. Please forgive me.

#vid rec

thescienceofreality

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