For The Dundie

“Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who or who you are with, or or where you are going, or, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever.” - Michael Scott

[literally-a-piece-of-trash]

Ah yes, the 5 love languages:

touch starved

my parents never told me they are proud of me

i love Stuff

im so fucken tired please god just let me rest for 5 minutes

hey pay attention to me

[versaceslut]

me and my hunties arriving at the funeral of my second sugar daddy

[norunningbythepool-deactivated2]

[ampervadasz]

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

When I was a kid, I thought those pillars went down to the sea floor.

In reality, they usually go down to some large submerged floats.

[kasaron]

I dislike this. 

[isensmith]

[jennamourey]

A Full Face of Rhinestones

[lovepsychothefirst]

#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies

[michaun]

[sprf23]

I love her so much

[soloikismos]

the fact that there's an 8 fucking pm curfew in new york is so unfathomably insane to me. like, a city of 8 million or whatever all has to go home when the sun is barely down because cops are that addicted to upholding white supremacy? i was out and some cop drove by and said thru his loudspeaker "go home! what are you still doing out!" what are you doing driving around in a caravan with your lights on fucking harassing people in the street? get a real fucking job

[shewhosebeautystartlesrabbits]

listen living in nyc is wild right now, but the curfew makes total sense when you see it from the NYPD’s perspective.

i was out today 4-7pm, cops surrounding us marching with full riot gear, batons, shields, tasers, the works, and following the march were at least 15 NYPD vans. i kept wondering, what are they waiting for??

they were waiting for the FUCKING CURFEW. as soon as 8pm hits, everyone--EVERYONE--on the street is a criminal, because you’re out past curfew. if you’re out after 8pm, you’re breaking the law. you’re a criminal,  and if you’re a criminal, the cops can do anything to you that they want. it is literally night and day. i left today’s march before the curfew, with zero violence from police, but as soon as night fell, suddenly those very same cops got out their batons and tripped up everyone they could find. 

the curfew exists SOLELY to give the NYPD a cover for arrests, beatings, stealing people’s bicycles, paper spray, tear gas, any of the violent things those motherfuckers fantasize about doing every single hour of the day.

and when you see people argue, “oh if they didn’t want to be arrested, they shouldn’t have been out past curfew” THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT. it’s a state-sanctioned crack down on otherwise free speech and assembly. they WANT to trap people into “committing” “crimes” so they can be violent. they WANT to beat and maim all the peaceful protesters doing the day, and without a curfew, they wouldn’t have as many good excuses for doing so. 

the curfew is only so that the police can commit violence against peaceful, first-amendment protected citizens and scare everyone else into staying inside. it’s a goddamn shame and i will go to my grave ashamed of myself for ever thinking cops are good people.

[geek-ramblings]

[kaijuno]

These articles were posted by the same person less than 2 hours apart

[bunjywunjy]

not that I don't love the cursed bio facts, but do you have any blessed bio facts?

HYENAS CAN LOAF LIKE HOUSECATS

[ohcorny]

happy pride fuck the police

happy pride fuck the police

[calebwittebane]

grime's and musk, and their children... gunk and sweat -_-

[greelin]

bro for real you gotta be making some of this shit up

[greelin]

hit me with some of that sleepman

[outofcontextdnd]

List of wizard names

[lochnutmonster]

tag yourself I’m Zolpi-Q

[beesmygod]

what is the child annihilating zipline

in 2010, a camp counselor goon logged on to the somethingawful forums asking for help with the zipline he build from scratch, and with no engineering knowledge, that didn’t seem to be working right. when he tested it with a sandbag, it continued to gather speed during the entirety of the 143 foot drop (19 degree slope) until it slammed into the wooden platform at the bottom at a speed of 65mph, presumably creating a child paste that would have to be scraped off to be sent home. there were pictures.

[acridrainshowers]

groverhaus and the child-annihilating zipline are classics of post and we will never forget them

too bad the zipline isn’t as famous. the fucked-up bathroom has even gained more traction than the child-exploding summer camp zipline. there is no justice

[onceiwashere]

i love this but DON’T denigrate the fucked up bathroom that’s a legend

[patrickdiomedes]

fucked up bathroom?

[onceiwashere]

before and after extensive diy renovations 

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

this looks like a doom wad

[goatplanet]

The extremely good news is that someone DID make it into a doom wad

https://twitter.com/dietinghippo/status/1102879467741966336

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

this is un fucking believable

[football-in-tuxedos]

I’m sorry, y’all are selling RIPline (The Machine to Kill Children) short, so I need to bring in YouTuber and generally amazing person Dan Olson in to sum this up for me

And some visual aides

[fzlee]

[goawfma]

this is an insult

[seven-valid-libras]

x

[breanieswordvomit]

Wait. What?!

[ick-r-us-deactivated20210902]

This is hell.

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

This man is trapped in his house with what's going to be like 1000 giant moths and it is somehow the funniest thing I have seen in days.

[officialqueer]

Idk what about this is funniest

The sensor sticker?

The hashtag?

Or Lil Nas X shooting his shot in the comments?

[salattiamies]

Isn’t this the dude who got his account on twitter suspended for pretending to be the CIA and saying just because we killed MLK doesn’t mean we can’t miss him?

[officialqueer]

Yup! Jaboukie Young-White, he's a comedian who's currently a Correspondent on The Daily Show!

He also got banned on Twitter for pretending to be that gun lady who shit herself or something and then pretending to be the official Cats account and saying the movie would be updated to give them realistically accurate barbed penises.

Jaboukie is braver than any US Marine.

[caught]

This king also recently got unverified for pretending to be CNN saying Biden wasn’t actually dead he was just getting good dick 😂

[hoardofhyperfixations]

Good luck Lil Nas X

[pickypicnic]