I'm not soft

Fortuna | 25 | They/Them | Art tag is #my art

[fortunaskeep]

idk...

[gd783hh]

[orphetoon]

everyone needs to have an oc that would've hit hard when they were like 13. im talking tortured in a lab, elfen lied type shit. its good for the soul

[beemovieerotica]

[knightowlet]

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

[frnkieroismydaddy]

Oh my GOD

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[the-real-seebs]

one way to read this is "this man has no idea what he is saying"

another to read this is "this man is terminally online and has excellent comedic timing"

[naamahdarling]

Oh that's WONDERFUL. I LOVE him!

[npdkondraki]

that name isnt "literally unpronounceable" its just not english and im going to fucking kill you

[lastparty]

at this point i wish i could obliterate harry potter from cultural consciousness i hate hearing positive and even neutral references to it. find a new thing

[scribefindegil]

Types of brain fog:

Brain is primordial sludge & you are drowning in it

U are a ghost and nothing is real

Mental equivalent of attempting to stream some high-res video game when all you have is dial-up

The thing you want to articulate is *right there* but you're just scrabbling at it like a cat continually failing to catch the bird on the other side of the window

The Void

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[strongermonster]

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

[strongermonster]

i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])

she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??

best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this

and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, ∴ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.

[strongermonster]

my artists rendition of the morning in question

[evilwizard]

one time i walked into God’s room when He wasn’t expecting me and He was kneeling by the foot of His bed praying. tf. who was He praying to ..?

[latinare]

dei cubiculum quondam intravi dum me non exspectaret et ad pedem cubilis orans genuit. qf. cui orabat ..?

[evilwizard]

this is good because maybe there are medieval priests who wanna read this one

[oldenglishtextposts]

hit gelamp sume dæge þæt ic ga in godes rom þa he ne min wende and he cneowlode æt his beddes fet him gebiddende. þf. to hwam gebæd..?

[evilwizard]

motherfucker stop translating my post into the common vernacular and distributing it out to the peasantry

[aropride]

guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent

[aropride]

lalala world so beautiful advertisements so extinct (opens website on mobile)AAAAAH!!!!!!! OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!

[cyber-corp]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[cyber-corp]

i know what i’m doing dw

[cyber-corp]

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

[cyber-corp]

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

[cyber-corp]

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

[cyber-corp]

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

[pluto-officially]

You're failing.

[cyber-corp]

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

[communist-mannyfesto]

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

[cyber-corp]

?????

[enigma-system03]

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

[cyber-corp]

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

[cyber-corp]

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

[cyber-corp]

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

[legionoftuna]

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

[cyber-corp]

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

[cyber-corp]

wrong.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

[cyber-corp]

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

[taco-bee]

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

[cyber-corp]

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

[boxxed-juice]

ares is the god of war, not kratos

[cyber-corp]

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

[f1rstperson]

Eris dangling this concept in front of OP like "make the post, it'll be so funny. You know the name of some greek gods, you can do it."

[ziraseal]

op I'll give you a golden apple if you name the hottest goddess

[aph-lithuania]

gay tumblr artists only personality quiz: what color do u use to sketch before u outline

[bimmyjimmy]

Posture is important

[shiftingwithmars]

@jimmyhoffathecat bros got competition now

[jimmyhoffathecat]

Ok but can he do this

[svetzzi]

go away forever with me

[springstormsbats]

@jimmyhoffathecat

[jimmyhoffathecat]

Mean to me

[mikedugans]

letra bledsoe has her priorities right

[tanknspank]

Times change. People don’t

[thewintersouljaboy]

Dan panosian responds: