Goblins Don't Know What Gender Is

You cannot change my mind.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[reddherring777]

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

[metal-autistic-coven]

Hang on let me translate something real quick

[metal-autistic-coven]

Yeah this is funny

[reddherring777]

[fairycosmos]

i just remembered when me and my friend were 8 we went to the corner shop to buy sweets and we were talking to the lad behind the counter and he just randomly pulled out a knife to “show it off” he was like look at the shine! and i backed away and said hey maybe we should leave and he got genuinely saddened he was like no no youre not in danger. like OK

[fairycosmos]

honestly he was kinda real for that

[xenasaur]

we need legislation banning games >100GB

[xenasaur]

OPTIMIZE YOUR SHIT BETTER THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR A 150GB GAME!!!

[xenasaur]

upon reviewing the notes I'm changing my position. games must be <50GB. no more mandatory 8k uncompressed textures!!! I don't believe in 8k I think it's fake

[xenasaur]

to be clear games really ought to be around 20 gigs or less. but I think in the spirit of generosity and mercy we won't criminally prosecute the developers until the file sizes breaks 50

[creamypancakebatter]

Helldivers 2 heard you and went from 156 to 23

[xenasaur]

wait is that real

just looked it up. holy fuck. they did it by de-duplicating assets. I'm just. my jaw is on the floor. supposedly duplicating assets helps load times on HDDs but. holy fuck at what cost

[somespicycheese]

it's worse than that: The Helldivers devs were told that duplicating assets would help HDD load times, but then they actually tested it and it had basically zero effect on load times!

So they had more than sextupled the size of their game by following industry standard practice that actually did basically nothing!

[mumblesplash]

actually while i’ve still got this soapbox stuck to my shoe i also wanna say i think culturally we gotta start conceptualizing physical fitness as a productive hobby rather than an obligation

[mumblesplash]

it’s sort of like clothes. there’s a baseline level of involvement with clothing necessary to stay safe from the elements and participate in society. having a variety of different clothing isn’t *strictly* necessary but pretty tangibly helpful. knowing how to do some minor mending and tailoring is nice. once you get into sewing your own clothes, you’re in hobby territory. if you’re making your own textiles from scratch, that is not only definitely a hobby but not something you can expect other people to want to do

the sort of nonsense fitness influencers get up to is sort of like people showing off their homemade silkworm farm and then pointing at everyone else and going “what’s YOUR excuse for wearing a TSHIRT from the STORE???” and actually nvm that would be fucking hilarious. god i wish that was an actual thing can you imagine

[mumblesplash]

that’s what i’m talking about!!!!!

[the-punforgiven]

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

[the-punforgiven]

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

[the-punforgiven]

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

[the-punforgiven]

Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh

They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them

Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it

[the-punforgiven]

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

[rathayibacter]

group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.

[thatquietkid108]

When a species becomes extinct humans have to figure out what kind of magic they were doing to keep the ecosystem from becoming out of balance

[scribefindegil]

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

[astriiformes]

Since tumblr is rightfully loving this one, I feel obligated to mention that I ran into the same guy again on the last day of the convention and told him Scribe was really entertained by this, and he said that the night before he'd also really gotten one of the hotel waitresses, who informed him he could take a seat wherever and he replied "Oh, no thanks, I brought my own"

[depsidase]

[importantcatpics]

[thingsfromthedirt]

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[depsidase]

[segamascott]

he still did 9/11 no one can take that from him ❤️

[rainbow-femme]

Bro they got geep in Ohio

[viralfrog]

[dirtreally]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

inserts my usb c into your port

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

i mean usb a