Hold on to your butts.

26. France. infp.

[toralei]

trilogy

[reyskyballer]

Are there no fucking butterflies in japan 

[nekropoli]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

When someone thinks they beat you at an argument and you line up all of your receipts to decimate them:

[tofugargoyle]

I love that the Loki fandom has transformed from 14 year old girls thirsting over Tom Hiddleston to lesbians in their 20s just relating to his chaotic neutral bullshit

[justsomeghostofme-deactivated20]

Bold of you to act like that’s not the same people but older and gayer.

[feyrealms]

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

[newtgeiszler]

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

[wombatking]

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney - early 20th century

Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

[fibonacci-to-infinity]

CHRIS EVANS WAS THE SURFER GUY FROM THE OLD MYSTERY DATE GAME HOLY SHIT

[didney-worl-no-uta]

YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM YOUR PAST

[thatsthat24]

So the mystery was why has my date been cryogenically frozen for the past fifty years?

[kirschade]

[kyotakumrau]

京個展~子宮で視る脳排泄~

kyo’s solo exhibition ~Observation of the brain excretion in the uterus~ 2018.05.09-19 report

さらに読む

[kalifornia-prince]

How to survive college

1) GET FUCKING NETFLIX 2) Jack off everyday 3) Cry occasionally to let out the pain 4) ALWAYS keep ice cream on hand

[willinq]

lmao i thot this was a joke but where is the lie

[distantvoices]

[3vz]

Me, you & a lit 90s playlist

[furbyfuzz]

Today we are having… Hot Dog

[the-eldritch-insomniac]

Yeah hi what the actual fuck

[redkrypto-deactivated20211128]

i’m screaming

[emiliusthegreat]

I don’t think this woman is straight anymore.

[striikee]

Yall are missing the best fucking part

[dynastylnoire]

Real friends help their friends upgrade their sex lives

[alisonzai]

[pyreo]

[toastp1ercer]

[hakuteeth]

Me as hozier liking this tweet

[amateur]

What’s happening on Twitter? 😂

[ruinedchildhood]

https://twitter.com/smashmouth/status/992478669435060224?s=19

[steampunktallulah]

Love smash mouth

[ryonceagsalud]

What’s going on this year

[ruinedchildhood]

What is happening? 😂

[victorious]

[thefishychicken]

LMAO He just said he does

[ruinedchildhood]

https://twitter.com/TheRock/status/588913900789309440?s=19

[natural--blues]

[imanambulance]

LMAO reblogging again because of 5he sass from dictionary.com 😂😂

[ultracheese]

[awildpaige]

Y'all know when you get wrecked by the damn dictionary you’re a fool

[acid-wash-and-lemonade]

So that’s why they called the smash mouth

[ruinedchildhood]

[lvchd-deactivated20170404]

[jigglyturk]

need me a freak like this