The Android Sent By CyberLife

Fan of Undertale, Marvel, Starkid, Musical Theatre, Detroit: Become Human, Animal Crossing, The Umbrella Academy, Overwatch, Glee, Sanders Sides, Beetlejuice, Kingdom Hearts, Kakegurui, Disney, Spider-Man, Night In The Woods, etc.

[fragile-porcelain]

Bro PLEASE I am so tired of not having anyone to talk to about writing. If there is any other teenage Tumblr who wants to exchange fanfictions even thought they’re probably really bad, PLEASE message me. I am willing to read so much fan fiction and give advice as long as you do the same for me, I am actively begging you

[jupitersmusings]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[overlord-fire-bubble]

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

[essenceofrose]

Okay I reblogged and got into the entrepreneurship program I wanted. This WORKS

[jensenackles-ismyreligion]

I POSTET THIS HALF AN HOUR BEFORE MY JOB INTERVIEW AND I GOT THE JOB OH MY GOD

[fragile-porcelain]

When it comes to the Met Gala, normally the only men with acceptable looks are Billy Porter and someone else depending on the year (last year it was Dan Levy), but I can appreciate this one.

Sebastian tried not to go with the typical suit and I appreciate the effort put in. I generally like Valentino and this is no exception.

He’s never made particularly big fashion statements on any red-carpet, but this looks amazing on him.

[ilovedirt]

[ilovedirt]

[fortyeightnone]

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

friends from college

[fragile-porcelain]

which one of you fuckers got 0.01%

[oopseydazey]

“you’re an art model does that mean you’re NAKED?” “yeah” “whoa….those lucky artists ;)”

…buddy.

[oopseydazey]

idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like. there’s at least ten people in the room and we’re all tired and covered in charcoal.

the dude in front who’s staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. he’s almost out of paint. he is crying.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[oopseydazey]

[mothspaws]

Hey @perisnoop

– –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- -···-

[deftomes]

wack.

[a-gods-somewhat-mortal-form]

That is so much fucking effort oml

[softblockwashere-deactivated202]

[softblockwashere-deactivated202]

it’s fat fuck friday

[super-affection]

mr. boombastic

[coolxatu]

meanwhile in a different dimension…

[ihavehugemuscles-deactivated202]

skinny bitch sunday……..

[noburden]

“In my friend, I find a second self.”

c.s. lewis / my best friend by the coral / alivia horsley / @billypotts / hanya yanagihara / ‘after party ll’ salman toor / the kids aren’t alright by fall out boy / a summer’s tale / lorde / hanya yanagihara / abed and troy (community) with a winnie the pooh quote @weelezzer / isabel norton

[garbage-empress]

time smells bad.

[chrome--horse]

what Synesthetic bullcrap is this now

[garbage-empress]

Listen

I accidentally leave the milk out overnight.

Milk smells bad the next day.

Why does milk smell bad?

Time gets in it.

[garbage-empress]

@ryanthecynic

[larckla]

Just realised this implies that a fridge cancels or slows time down

[garbage-empress]

As a simple experiment I will put some plutonium in my refrigerator and see if it decays slower, brb

[garbage-empress]

The results are in!

I have radiation poisoning!

[lastvalyrian]

this time it’s the opposite of Greek philosophy because you used the scientific method

[bravinto]

i mean what is time if not a facet of entropy

[elucubrare]

The chronicle of the monk Herbert of Reichenau for the year 1021 ends “My brother Werner was born on November 1.“ 

1021 was not an uneventful year. The emperor began a campaign into Italy. Illustrious abbots died. There was an earthquake. But Herbert took the time to note, at the end of the year, that his brother was born. 

Of such acts of tenderness is history made. 

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

This post broke through the shell of crustiness on my medievalist heart and made me go ‘aww’.

[marzipanandminutiae]

There was a medieval parenting manual that recommended parents smack pieces of furniture their toddlers bumped into and scold the furniture for being so naughty as to get in the way, so that the kids would laugh and forget about their bumps and bruises 

I read that and my heart melted

(source: Medieval Women by Deirdre Jackson. She cited the primary source but I cannot for the life of me find the book to check what it was called)

[shredsandpatches]

We should hold a thousandth birthday party for Werner in a couple of years.

[theoutcastrogue]

In 11th century Constantinople, the historian, philosopher, monk, and general insufferable know-it-all Michael Psellos once wrote a letter to his infant grandson. He begins like this:

“Perhaps I will not live to see you, dearest newborn and offspring of my soul, when you reach adolescence, if God so wishes it, or when you mature; for the days of my life are failing and the time approaches when its thread will be cut short. I have therefore decided to address this speech to you in advance of that day and reciprocate your innate charm with the graces of speech. I should be ungrateful and entirely thoughtless if at a time when your perceptions and thoughts are undeveloped (though as far as I alone am concerned you are perfect in these respects, insofar as you hear my voice and feel my affection, cling to my neck, slip into my embrace, and put up with my annoying kisses), I should be ungrateful, I say, if I myself failed to render to you a fitting return.”

He then goes on to praise his grandson, who is the most HANDSOME and INTELLIGENT and RATIONAL child ever born. (No seriously, he calls a four-month-old baby “rational” – rationality and moderation were considered important virtues so OBVIOUSLY his grandson was full of them.)

He observes every little thing the baby does – breastfeeding, taking baths, fussing, babytalking – with unrestrained marvel and delight, complete with flowery descriptions:

“[Your eyes] moved cheerfully, whenever a smile was about to come upon you. It sufficed for me to take note of this only once—I needed no Delphic tripod or bacchic ecstasy—to prophesy without hesitation from the kindly look in your eyes that you were about to laugh. And, true enough, you moved your lip slightly, blushed, and, behold! you laughed.”

He takes special pride that the baby likes him, and puts himself in the picture too:

“And when I would see you becoming perplexed, I immediately snatched you away from your toys, took you up in my hands, and lifted you up in the air until you were full of joy.”

He wishes him to lead a happy life. He calls him “my living pearl, the ornament of my soul”. And he ends the letter like this:

“May you obtain all that you love, but especially education and good sense, which alone can elevate the soul to its proper beauty and which constitute understanding of the more profound things. I wrote all this for you while holding you in my arms and kissing you insatiably.”

Isn’t it incredible? Translation by Anthony Kaldellis, from Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters: The Byzantine Family of Michael Psellos (University of Notre Dame Press, 2006).

[mens-rights-activia]

Guys, the liquid stuff you use when you make a pen mistake so you have to cover it over, what’s it called?

[junepop45]

White out

[mens-rights-activia]

Okay that’s what I thot too,

But apparently it’s “Wite out” 😳😳😳 hello??????

[fandomsofrandom]

Mandela effect *X-file music plays*

[mens-rights-activia]

Views from an alternate dimension

[darkpaladin]

Wite-Out is a brand of white out/correction fluid/liquid paper. The colloquial ‘white-out’ probably derives from the Wite-Out brand. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correction_fluid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_Paper

More importantly:

[mens-rights-activia]

Twink????

[alchemillasapphic-deactivated20]

New Zealand math classroom, circa 2019

[mens-rights-activia]

[freak-priest]

this post just shot me in the face like ten times

[cyanityinsanity101]

[vcrcleaner]

Extremely City white people are so fucking weird they see a pic of a deer and theyre like “its an Old God, tell me the wisdom of the trees Forest Lord … wow this is just like game of thrones” its a deer. Its a fucking stupid idiot animal it doesnt know shit

[whenthebirdsareheardagain]

Yes deer are dumb panicky dinguses in real life, but sometimes a picture will capture one looking all majestic and we just… want to believe…

[whenthebirdsareheardagain]

Case in point: this dude

Yes he got like that by being so hormonally addled that he tried to fight a tree. But try to tell me a forest god wouldn’t have big leafy antlers just like that if he were to take a physical form.

[knivesandteeth]

who says the old gods aren’t stupid animals who are so hormonally addled they’d try to fight a tree

[mutedtempest]

@librariansheart for your enjoyment

[alexaloraetheris]

Look, I’ve lived a good chunk of my childhood in a halfway abandoned mountain village in the middle of nowhere. Which meant wildlife galore whether you liked it or not.

And that meant sometimes we saw a deer in the middle of the road at midnight and the majestic motherfucker just stared us down until my mom shredded our tires to stop from hitting him. Once we stopped he did a little half-bow as if saying ‘You have not committed an act of godslayer this night. Your bloodline shall bear no curse of mine’, and walked away chill as you please.

The next day a neighbor told us a deer with fucking big antlers got tangled in his fence because it was trying to steal his grapes.

I went on a hike with another neighbor to collect yarrow for tea. A bear came out of the woods towards us, went on its hind legs and inquiringly roared. And he pushed me, tiny as I was back then, behind me out of sight and spread his jacket wide to make himself seem bigger than he already was. He let out a sound I had not known humans were capable of making. He and the bear looked at each other for a moment, and came to an understanding. The bear went down and walked away, respecting a powerful opponent protecting its young.

A week ago, there had been a bear that completely tore apart our trashcan and gorged itself on half-fermented apples we threw away. My cousin had to chase it away, drunk out of its tiny fucking mind, with an umbrella that made weird noises when opened. The bear ran for its life, crashed into our wall, fell on its ass, and scampered away.

I was playing on a swing once, all alone, and a fox came up to me, the most beautiful animal I had seen in my ten years of life. Thinking it wanted to pass, I stopped swinging and sat still not to spook it. But instead of passing, the fox circled the swing, found it wanting, and came to sit before me perfectly poised and looked me in the eye, and I could swear it wished to tell me something but I could not understand the language spoken before human time.

Then my mom came out of the nearby inn, shrieked at the fox and swung her purse to chase it away. The fox jumped, ran off and fell into a ditch, all notions of grace gone with the wind.

What I’m saying is: the old gods are absolutely idiot animals who embraced the life of constant sex and hedonism in return for losing their higher power. Whether or not they regret it, we’ll never know.

[we-are-knight]

@thegreenchapel

[thegreenchapel-deactivated20211]

Well the Old Gods are old. In the same way your grandparents are old. They’re a font of experience and wisdom, they’ve survived wars, famine, poverty–but they’re thwarted by a smartphone. The Great Stag understands “car” in the same way he understands “challenger.” He understands “fence” in the same way he understands “brambles” or “underbrush.” He can handle plant fiber in his way but metal might be a bit beyond him. The Old Gods understand their ways. The Great Stag can can give you the wisdom of being a stag, but humans aren’t stags, so not all of his wisdom applies to our experience. If you promise not to hunt in his forest for a year and a day, he’ll show the trails his herd uses so that you can get out of the woods faster. Maybe you’ll keep that memory, maybe you won’t. If you do remember, you are responsible for being a stewart.

Some believe the Old Gods are living gods. There’s no one single Mother Bear. It’s a title that gets passed on. The beings are inhabited by divine force much older and deeper than any human can imagine. Picture a pebble being thrown into a pond. Each new incarnation is like a new ripple expanding outward. If the Old Gods are living beings then they are limited and falliable. They make mistakes and are prone to embarrassment. Like we all are. Instead of merely venerating them, sympathize with them.

[marlynnofmany]

Behold, the rare sight of an Old God interacting with something new:

[runcibility]

Now hearing “In the air tonight” played on a church organ, thanks.

[tiktokmuseum]

he was in the fridge!!!

[myusersnamegoeshere]

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

[rattle-my-stars]

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover

[blog-carmex]

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

[esperantoauthor]

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…

[marraphy]

mutuals put me in your fridge

[gallusrostromegalus]

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”

“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”

“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.

“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’. …Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”

“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”

“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”

[captain-snark]

“is that for soup?”

“No, that’s my uncle”

[fragile-porcelain]

Every single day of my life I think about the fact that in an alternate universe, Gru is gay, and he married a red-headed twink with a scarf collection named Lucille

[lake-erie]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

[oolongearlgrey]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

[lake-erie]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

[frogsandcranberriesitmustbefall]

Frogs and cranberries it must be fall.

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

Hello?

[frogandcranberriesitmustbefall]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.