[discooccasionally]

shane: this is such a bad idea

shane 0.5 seconds later:

[dankxsinatra]

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[charl0ttan]

huh? oh sorry, ive just been feeling off since the divorce. its been a lot. yeah. it still hurts when i think about everything she took. whatever, i know you're here for a reason. if the other side of this bridge you wish to see, you must answer my riddle one☝️😔

[frecklesandpoverty]

oh whaaaaaat we can view our likes by oldest first now?

oh god everything is Glee lmao

[kingartsybanana]

If Backrooms was a children’s book

[trigona-necrophaga]

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

[coldswarkids]

when I’m checking out at the register and the cashier is clearly having a horrible day, I feel like I am under so much pressure to speak soooo gently and pleasantly. like I am handling a skittish and traumatized horse. here I am offering my credit card so efficiently. here is an apple from my palm

[cranity]

it doesn't make sense

[snowbairdd]

Some people, they'll never accept him. But some will. And he seems to know how to find the good ones.

LUCA (2021) dir. Enrico Casarosa

[mynorthernattitude]

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

[hansoeii]

doomed yaoi found me again

[frecklesandpoverty]

Ok so now I'm just ugly crying in my bedroom at midnight?

I knew there would be no real happy ending, and it still managed to break my freaking heart.

(I'm so happy I didn't have time to finish this movie at work earlier, my coworker would have looked over to see me bawling.)

[gloryhollanovjah]

Ilya watching TV: 🚫😠😑🌩️

Ilya looking at Shane literally .02 seconds later: ✨😍🫦🎀☀️🥰💖🥹

(Screenshots from this post from @thisfeebleheart ! 💗)

[cjowoart]

Avi & Kyran

[avainblue]

you want to fuck him i want to consume him i want to live inside his skin like a beast in the walls of his house i want to be his birth and his death and his beginning and his end and his undoing and his armageddon and his divine creator i want to eat him whole i want him to love me love me love me love me as the worshippers love the temple and as the temple loves the lamb and as the lamb loves the knife i want to be his vampire i want to be his life i want him to tear me apart i want to create worlds out of him and destroy them and destroy him and have him wake up in the morning next to me i want to call him pretty i want to brush his hair i want to crack him up i want to choke him i want to make him bleed i want to kiss the blood from his skin i want him buried deep inside the wound of my desire i want him to be my best friend i want him to loathe me i want to fight him to the death i want to be his favourite girl his favourite villain i want to be his worst fear i want my fingers in his mouth i want my mouth on his jugular i want to be the only thing inbetween him and death eternal i want my teeth in him i want i want i want i want

[hollanovshome]

[lightningcrashes]

#my wife is a bitch and i like her so much