ARCANE | 1.05 Everybody Wants To Be My Enemy
So what’ll it be, man or woman?
@yangsboxers
im sorry for tagging u in so much arcane stuffs im just yeah

Andulka

PR's Tumblrdome
ojovivo
dirt enthusiast

titsay
Today's Document
No title available
i don't do bad sauce passes
YOU ARE THE REASON

if i look back, i am lost
RMH
KIROKAZE
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
cherry valley forever

JBB: An Artblog!

JVL
Cosmic Funnies
art blog(derogatory)
No title available

blake kathryn
seen from India
seen from Luxembourg
seen from Türkiye

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from Netherlands

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany
@solamaryllis
ARCANE | 1.05 Everybody Wants To Be My Enemy
So what’ll it be, man or woman?
@yangsboxers
im sorry for tagging u in so much arcane stuffs im just yeah
“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire
you’re actually correct!
Cooking is the one thing that only humans do and can be directly linked to the increase in our brain size
Burning the mammoth flank just a lirtle instead of eating it raw gives grug more calorie to think. Grug thinking about color symbolism in silence of the lambs
Losing my MIND on twitter this morning seeing a thread on what appears to be the worlds unluckiest child
i’m so sorry to this poor kid but i’m crying laughing are they being HAUNTED???
i hope the beloved mutuals don’t think me unintellectual for this but i love romantic subplots i gobble them up delightedly with very few exceptions. ‘oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me’ etc
“how are they finding time to fall in love when the worlds ending” and what are we all doing right now 🤨
I actually really like the thing when you're starting to get the hang of a new language, enough to understand and say simple sentences but you gotta get creative to get more complex thoughts across, like a puzzle. I remember a time in the restortation school when a classmate who wasn't natively finnish and did her best anyway dropped something and sighed, telling me "every day is monday this week. I have had four mondays this week." And I understood.
I don't think I speak much of spanish anymore, but in the nursing school training period I did there, I did manage to get by with making weird Tarzan sentences. I got a nosebleed at some point and startled another nurse. Not knowing the words "humidity" or "stress", I managed to string together: "This is ok. It is hot, it is cold, I have a bad day, I am sad, I have blood. This is normal for me." And she understood.
And sometimes you just say things weird, but it's better than not saying it. One time, I was stuck in a narrow hallway behind someone walking really slowly with a walker, and he apologised for being in the way. I was not in any hurry, but didn't know the spanish word for "hurry", but I did know enough words to try to circumvent it by borrowing the english "I have all the time in the world."
The man burst into one of those cackling old man laughters that they do when something in this world still manages to surprise them. He had to be somewhere between 70 and a 100 years old, and I guess if there was one thing he wasn't expecting to hear today, it would be a random blond vaguely baltic-looking fuck casually announce that he is the sole owner and keeper of the very concept of time.
I’ve mostly learned Chinese in school, so I know a lot of academic vocabulary while having the language skills of a toddler in some basic areas. Once, I forgot the word for sad, which is a really dumb thing to forget. A bunch of the ways to say sad in Chinese are literally just “not happy”, but I also momentarily forgot how to say happy. So instead I said “there is an economic downturn inside my brain”.
the bad news is that my mom was sad that her eggplants haven’t been growing; however, it turns out that the reason her eggplants haven’t been growing is because her eggplants were actually spinach. The good news is that her spinach is growing very well. She was also sad that her peppers haven’t been growing either, but it turns out that the peppers were actually eggplant. And I’m happy to report that the eggplant is also growing very well.
great at gardening, horrendous at botany
hi a note for transfemmes: there is a site called eshakti where you can get beautifully made femme clothes in a wide variety of shapes, colors, prints, and fabrics -- all made to your measurements. it is not cheap, but it's also not expensive for what it is. i dont know where they ship outside of the us but im sure they have it listed somewhere.
im not a transfemme but i pretty much exclusively shop from eshakti when i can because my body is ridiculous shapes that are not found in pretty much any clothes i could buy off the rack. the quality is amazing, and if anything fits weird, you can send it back for adjustments.
my partner IS a transfemme though, and she just got her first order in, and she just looks so beautiful and so happy and i just. i want to make sure y'all know this exists. i know not everyone can afford it, but for those who can, it can be really nice to have something in a shape you want, in a color you want, in a fabric you want, made for your body no matter what shapes make up your body.
typically for your first order you get custom sizing for free. right now (july 2nd 2023) there's a 35% sale on the whole store, and those sales happen probably quarterly, and you can get the free custom sizing on top of that. you MAY be emailed by the team to confirm some of your sizing, but i promise it's just to make sure your measurements are right, and not the company trying to judge or discriminate. i was contacted for my wild shapes (bust/waist ratio) and my partner was contacted for her height (she's 6'3"). you just email back confirming and it's totally fine.
i hope you have clothes that fit you, size and soul, and make you feel beautiful, whether from here or otherwise.
Buy custom and ready to wear women's dresses online at eShakti.com, the #1 store in the US for women's clothing. Find pants, skirts and top
really glad that this has this many notes and no transphobes yet 💖
This post is missing one very important piece of information: the sheer number of these dresses that have fucking amazing pockets!! I can fit two phones and a 12oz can in a pocket of most of my eShakti dresses - I tend towards the cotton jersey, which is also a bit heavier of a weight than other stretch cottons, which is fantastic for hiding bumps and bra lines and just feeling a little more sturdy.
But as a plus size, super busty femme, this is my first stop when shopping for work and special event dresses.
AU Alphabet
These are meant to be vague: Take them however you want to. With that being said, have fun!
A)
Apocalypse AU
Afterlife AU
Arranged Marriage AU
Angel AU
Actor AU
B)
Band AU
Boxer AU
Bounty Hunter AU
Bachelor/ette AU
Bookstore AU
C)
Coffee Shop AU
College AU
Cooking Contest AU
Coaches AU
Campground AU
D)
Do-Over (Second Chance) AU
Dance Company AU
Drivers (Racing or Rideshare) AU
Divers AU
Dragon Tamers AU
E)
Emergency Room AU
Empath AU
Entrepreneurs AU
Executioner(s) AU
F)
Fake Dating AU
Firefighter AU
Flower Shop AU
Face Blindness AU (the inability to recognize the other person’s face.)
Forced Partners/ In a group together AU
G)
Graveyard AU
Ghost AU
Gang AU
Gardeners AU
Group Therapy AU
H)
Holding Cell AU
High School AU
Harpy AU
Historical Fiction AU
Husky Race/Doglsed AU
I)
Ice Cream Shop AU
Ice Hockey AU
Interior Designer AU
Island (Survival) AU
Investigation AU
J)
Jeweler AU
Janitors AU
Jazz Club AU
(Court) Jester AU
K)
Kennel (Animal Shelter) AU
Knitting AU
Karate AU
Kayaking AU
Kingpin AU
L)
Lawyer AU
Lemonade Stand AU
Library AU
Lycanthropy AU
Lifeguard AU
M)
Musician AU
Medieval AU
Motocross AU
Makeup Artists AU
Mafia AU
N)
Navy AU
News Station AU
Nurses AU
Neverland AU
No (Insert Character) AU
O)
Online Friends AU
Orchard AU
Office AU
Ocean AU
Olympics AU
P)
Podcasters AU
Photographer AU
Psychic AU
Pirate AU
Pizza Place AU
Q)
Quilting AU
Queen (Royalty) AU
Quarry AU
R)
Reporter AU
Resurrections AU
Receptionist AU
Rodeo AU
Raceway (Horses or Cars) AU
S)
Soulmate AU
Skiing AU
Songwriter AU
Soldier AU
Stunt Performer AU
T)
Time Travel AU
Tennis AU
Tour Guide AU
Tattoo Shop AU
Talent Agency Au
U)
Undercover AU
Underworld AU
Umpire AU
Underwater AU
V)
Vampire AU
Veterinarian AU
Vlogging AU
Vineyard AU
Virtuoso AU
W)
Writer AU
Wedding Planner AU
Woodworker AU
Western AU
X) N/A
Y)
Youtube AU
Yacht Club AU
Z)
Zookeeper AU
Zodiac AU
Zombie AU
Some thoughts abt modern stranger things characters
Steve and Robbin going squishmallow hunting together
Steve would be a “I pretend I thrift but secretly just shop at urban” boy. Robin made him actually go thrifting with her once and he did NOT have a good time. He was a gaint bitch abt it
Jonathan loved instax instant cameras. He doesn’t give a fuck that they’re girly. The rest of the skittles squad find the coolest, weirdest film packs they can find on eBay for him. His favorites are the Sarino ones from El and will he got for Chanukah. He’s very sparing with using those boxes.
Nancy and platform Mary Janes. She’d be so obsessed. She’d be such a coquette core girlie.
Chrissy + warmies. YK the microwave heating pad stuffed animals? Yeah our soft little cutie queen would be obsessed. I also think chrissy was/is a horse girl but that’s just my vibe off her.
Jonathan makes everyone Spotify playlists. There amazing too he has such a varied taste. Unfortunately modern johnathan would be more obnoxious abt his love for the smiths than 80s! Jonathan is. He would also be SUCH a 1975 stan. Tumblr boy.
The idea makes me throw up in my mouth but season one Steve being a vloger. I know bleh.
Robin has a comedy tik tok account.
Her and Steve work in a game stop (I know what you’re thinking stop it) Steve doesn’t know shit abt any of the games he just likes Mario cart and animal crossing, he just works there bc Robin got him the job. Robin makes tik toks at work with Steve being a dingus in the background. The kids annoy the fuck out of him at work (he loves it). Him and el visit eachothers villages a lot.
LDR jargyle facetimeing all the time. They’ll FT from Jonathan’s hangouts with the rest of the gang 🥺
The party + marvel movies!!!!! Tell me El wouldn’t just *get* captain marvel?!?
Robin “every minor inconvenience is homophobic” Buckley.
Joyce is the kind of mom who buys all the “proud mom” shits at target in June and gets super excited with all the pride stuff in bullseyes playground and like,,, she’s just so genuinely excited abt all the little pride stuff. Will and Jon and el can’t even be embarrassed or cringe they’re just all *blushy* “thanks mom”. She’s just so genuinely excited to show them what he found every time. Pride flags in the lawn. I just love her okay she’s so good. She’s the “mom hugs at pride” type. Idk how to explain it maybe I’m projecting.
Honestly max and el are just the girls who consider target an exciting evening outing. It’s the ADHD dopamine seeking. Them, Robin and Nancy go on little impromptu girls target- Marshalls runs.
Let Dustin loose in a Spencer’s.
Nancy gets drunk and explains Taylor’s swifts discography at length and detail.
Give murry a Twitter, let him troll Republican politicians. He would have so much fun. My man deserves it he’d be great.
Dustin + quoting vines. That’s the whole thought.
These little bitches in a spirit Halloween.
murray and twitter???? glorious
D’s thot thoughts: Summer Steddie Edition
The summer of 86 is a hot one in Hawkins. When May bring a scorchig heatwave with it, Steve adjusts his wardrobe appropriately.
After ending on a delightful cliffhanger, Eddie follows the rest of Hellfire out to the school parking lot, and forgets how to breathe at the sight of Harrington leaning against his beemer in denim cutoffs and a fucking crop top. The shirt is a bold yellow with “Hawkins High Swim Team” printed in faded letters on the front.
At the sight of the teens still bickering over their choices, Harrington assumes Mom stance #3: arms crossed with one hip cocked and lips pursed. (Eddie can’t help but notice them, cherry red and shiny with chapstick.) Its topped off by the impatient glare peeking over the aviators balanced on the bridge of his nose.
He looks like a wet dream even as he snipes at the teens to hurry the hell up. “It’s hot as shit guys, c'mon” “Is that why you’re dressed like a Ken Doll?” “You can walk home Wheeler! I swear…” At this, Harrington turns around and makes his way towards the driver’s side, giving Eddie a lovely view of his ass in those low rise shorts and… Holy Shit
Right above the waistband sits a pair of Venus dimples, tanned and glistening and Eddie salivates.
“Fuck me” he mutters, catching the attention of Gareth, who throws Eddie a bemused glance before hopping in Jeff’s pickup.
Later that night, Eddie dreams of broad shoulders and a trail of brunette hair mavigating a slim waist. He imagines kissing the salt off golden skin and dark bruises peeking from the waistabnd of those jeans, ones left by his mouth and thinks
It’s gonna be a long summer.
"This should do it." It looked down at itself, pleased.
The two - rather long - legs jut out under it's torso. It used it's new - ew - five fingers to feel along it's skin, feeling the bumps of a ribcage underneath. A heartbeat too.
In front of it was a mirror, and staring back at itself was a human. Well, an illusion of one.
Time and time again, the newly star bound aliens, humans, had infiltrated it's species ranks through elaborate disguises. They got better at it every time.
Not only were humans great with what they call "make up" but they had a way of mimicking their behaviors. It's species tried to replicate this. Failed to. In the end, they had something better.
A team of highly immoral scientists who were given boundless permission to try whatever the hell they wanted. And they went with genetic mutation.
It was a painful change, and slow. Agonizingly slow. But now, it was a super solider with one superpower. A shape-shifter.
And it was time to test it out.
It strolled out of the bathroom and into the eating area where various alien species were seated. Only one human - the unwitting test subject - was present.
If this could pass for normal conversation, this could pass for war.
It strolled right up to the other creature - a man who had not yet seen him - and sat down.
"I'm glad to see one other human on this station," it said.
The human non-committedly looked up. Only to jump with a start after taking it in.
"What are you?" he said.
"A human?" it said. If it's species could sweat, it would do so by now.
The man stared at it a moment. He turned to the alien on his right and pointed to his left.
"Forgive me if this question is batshit insane, but what do you see?"
"Two humans?" The alien had three eyes.
Her species' third eye was famous for detecting the most miniscule details and then committing it to subconscious memory. The rise and fall of a chest. The careful rythem of a human heart. How often - or little - a human blinks. Even human's make-up tricks couldn't bypass her species' extra form of security.
"So it is," said the man. She turned away and it found itself blinking quickly in relief. It cut that out when the human turned to it. "Sorry, I guess you're just real ugly."
"Ugh, rude." All humans are ugly.
He scooted in closer on the bench and leaned in towards it. It found itself leaning away, but couldn't help but notice the bead of sweat on the human's forehead and how the pupils were shrunken as far as they could.
"Wanna hear an old Earth tale?"
"I'm sure I know it." Was this a test?
"I doubt you know this one. My grandfather experienced it himself." He leaned away. It had stop itself from blinking too rapidly again. "This is about an Earth cryptid."
"Bigfoot?" it said, but nodded as if it already knew.
"Everyone knows Bigfoot," he laughed. "No, he was driving down a dark country road unlit by street lights. He didn't have his brights on - that's important to the story, you see - but heaven knows why."
Brights??? What are brights???
"Down the road an animal was crossing. A simple male deer with antlers. He couldn't see its body yet, but he was familiar with the eyes. They glowed as his car sped closer."
"He slowed as the deer became more apparent, and eventually came to a stop when the creature wouldn't move. By now, he could see the antlers, the four legs, the neck. Not in detail, mind you, but he could see it "
Other aliens in the room- not hearing this conversation - were trickling out of the room. There was no dramatic reason for this, they simply finished their lunch. The human, not paying any attention to his own lunch, continued the story.
"It's not uncommon for deer to freeze, especially when lights flood their eyes. So my grandfather gave it a moment to realize it should run. When seconds ticked by, he honked at it."
"There was something... off... about the deer. It looked every way like a deer, but the longer he stared, the longer that just didn't seem right."
"Was it a deer?" it said.
"It was not."
"What was it?"
"Not a deer."
The alien found itself frown at this in a perfectly human way.
"Time went on, and my grandfather decided to turn on the brights to try and see the creature better. And it was still... a deer... but not..."
It found its frown deepening.
"What's worse was it began to move. Similar to a deer, but all wrong. Like maybe its legs bent the wrong way. Or perhaps the legs were too long. It was every way like a deer, but it just was not."
"He drove home as soon as that not deer was out of his path. And yes, he found himself alive the next morning. But that encounter disturbed him, so he recounted it to everyone. And many people - especially in that town - could tell him their own stories."
"...okay?"
"Well, that story is funny. Probably a figment of his imagination, but it does reflect a very real human instinct."
This was another test. "Would this be something I know of?"
"It's called uncanny valley. It occurs to us when something looks human... but is not."
"Why?"
"Well, rumor has it that it was a instinct formed from a predator. Something that looked human but was not. A not human."
"A not human? Is this true?"
"No," he said. He laughed. "No, we most likely developed it for something a lot more practical. Corpses, you see. They carry a lot of bacteria, so we have a fear of them."
"...interesting."
"I have that very same feeling of you," he said. The room was empty besides the two. He reached for his bottle above his lunch tray.
"But I'm not a corpse?"
"You're about to be."
The human tossed down the bottle, effectively cracking off the bottom half and forming his weapon.
It shape-shifted as it scurried away to retreat from the very much human.
Jason: “do you think it’s possible to boil someone’s feet off without killing them?”
Dick: “what kind of fucking question is that?”
Jason:[offended] “this is why I don’t talk to you”
Tim: “I think they would die from shock alone”
Jason: [thinking] “so in theory no”
Tim: I didn't say that. You just need to avoid them going into shock
Jason: And how the fuck would I do that?
Duke, who no one noticed was in the same room: Freeze their torso
Dick: what
Duke: yeah. If the feet is boiling and the torso is freezing, in average they're fine
Jason: I can't believe you stole the tittle of Most Fucked Up in The Family from me and I'm not even mad about it
Dick: [already regretting adding on] “no, you’ll make them go hypothermic way before the feet come off”
Duke: “wet towels then”
Damian: [pops up] “you’d need to use some sort of sedative if you want them to live through the whole ordeal, Todd”
Jason: but a strong sedative will put them to sleep and that will take all the fun of boiling a person's feet off
Dick: fun!? What part of this is fun!??
Duke: then give them a sedative and cocaine
Dick, almost crying: how does this conversation keeps getting w o r s e
Jason: and where would I find cocaine?
Duke: dude. You're a drug lord, if you can't find it then you suck at your job
Tim: Duke remind me to subscribe you to a crash course in medicine later
Damian: “coke might numb too much. We still want the victim to suffer”
Duke: “… genera anesthesia? Just enough for them to still feel everything but not die quickly”
Tim: “ok but cokes easier to get”
Jason: “Tim’s got a point”
Damian: “coke might
numb too much. We still want the
victim to suffer”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I like how this post’s reblog/like ratio is over 100%
I’m Daphne
I think that for every episode of bake off that has a foreign country as a theme there should be a special third judge that is just a grandma of that nationality and they should be equipped with an air horn they can toot in paul hollywood’s smug face whenever he confidently says something completely incorrect about a bake’s construction, flavour, texture, etc etc
I don't think this goes far enough. I think we should give the grandmas guns.