Poetry & Stuff

ze/they

[freshlybakednerd]

why can’t you leave me alone

you never had enough time to talk back then

so why won’t you leave my fucking mind

i gave you so much

i gave you a part of me i haven't given anyone

and you seem to have forgotten that

why did you have to lie to me

how long did you lie to me

did you ever really love me

or was i just a stand in for someone you couldn’t have

and then the second you can have them

you had to leave

seems awfully convenient

or maybe I’m just being silly

but why do i still smile when i hear your voice

when it has hurt me so much

please come back

or go away

[freshlybakednerd]

i just want you to be happy

i would give anything in the world to see your smile

and if that means i have to give you up

maybe it’s worth it

because i don’t want to break you

the way i am breaking now

[freshlybakednerd]

sometimes i feel like nothing in my life is permanent

like i am some sort of curse upon all who come near me

nothing within my reach will ever be stable

all there will be is change and pain

every interest i ever have never lasts

every skill i begin remains unfinished

every small joy i have will one day be bland

and every blissful moment always lasts a second too short

i am so afraid of what i bring

why can i not just stay the same

why can’t i be solid and transparent

why is my reflection different every time i look in the mirror

but despite all that

my only hope

is that you stay

because i am afraid of what i might become if i lose another part of myself

[freshlybakednerd]

My therapist said I need to make out with someone an hour a day for my mental health bro, it’s what the doctor said I don’t make the rules.

[freshlybakednerd]

why is it so difficult

to exist

without pain

[freshlybakednerd]

The strongest people don’t ever truly have power; they just convince others they do.

[freshlybakednerd]

My friend sent me a meme about lesbians to ask me if it was actually true.

I love my friends so much.

[freshlybakednerd]

sometimes i want to see how far i can go

until somebody

anybody

realizes i’m not ok

[freshlybakednerd]

everything smells different since i’ve met you

i was always so sensitive to the ways people smelled

i felt someone’s scent was what was unique about each person

as strange as that may sound

i’ve read so many books about the science behind smell

how it is a key factor in attraction

in the way we love

and i understood that partially

i loved the way fall candles smelled

when you first lit their fresh wicks

i loved the way my mother’s perfume smelled

when she pulled me into a hug

i loved the way my blanket smelled

when my dad tucked me into bed

but i had never been so infatuated with a person’s own smell before

not like you

you were the smell of video games in the sunroom

of face masks on bunk beds

of hands held under a blanket

you were the smell of my first kiss

you were the smell of a hug after a rough day

you were the smell of the only person i could ever fall for

and you still are

[freshlybakednerd]

you said i wasn’t a burden

how lovely those words sound

coming from a real person

and not my mind

[lonely-and--sad]

[freshlybakednerd]

have you ever met a person

so breathtaking

every time i see you

it’s like it’s the first time

i thought they lied when they said love was real

but they didn’t

because here you are

[freshlybakednerd]

words can strike fear

they can dampen the light

you do not know why you cry

only that they hurt you in the dead of night

words are all fake

they are merely sounds we shriek

but why do we shudder

when the quiet dare to speak

i do not know why emotions

are tied to simple sounds

because you can never truly describe

what twisted things you have found

so we just wonder why a word

can catch in our throat

while we drown inside ourselves

unable to truly know

[freshlybakednerd]

what is the color of a person’s soul

is it something special to only you

can we decipher that which makes us whole

or are those parts of us a secret too

ev’ry person is unique in their own way

we are all a masterpiece unfinished

growth strikes us in the heart everyday

you can hear it if you closely listen

a spectrum of light erupts from our minds

the creativity of existence

and the purest form of hope in our eyes

is a source of power that can’t be missed

humans are a species of myst’ry true

but each heart emits its own vibrant hue

[freshlybakednerd]

nobody knows that i’m sick

and if i speak up i’ll probably never hear the end of it

i’m sorry that i never said what was on my mind

i’m sorry if i assumed you’d be anything short of kind

but you’ll probably never hear

my broken thoughts 

my screaming falls on deaf ears

i’m sorry but i’m not

[poetryandthesea]

For some reason, I think the world can’t end before I told you; but it can and it will and you will never know.

// the end of the world j.d.m. (via poetryandthesea)

[freshlybakednerd]

we all have someone

that we want to be

they’re funny, kind, rich, or pretty

but all my life i’ve just wanted

to be the person who doesn’t falter

i thought at one point that was something i could do

but i now see the truth

i could never be you

because im afraid

i’ve forgotten how to be brave

and i’m now realizing all the pain

that i shouldn’t feel

and sometimes the darkness

feels way too real

and i never quite knew

what it was like to feel alone

i’ve got my heart

but humans don’t know how to console

so if you ask me why i stopped to speak up

i’ll just blame me

i was never enough