Master

Smiles are contagious. Go forth and contaminate as many as you can!

[absolutely-xantastic]

Let’s scream with mama

[mactiir]

So I ended up with free time at the end of my first class today, so I was like "do yall wanna see a vintage meme?" and turned on "what does the fox say". Expected like. A laugh from the kids, or even just a "wtf is this mx?" which is. A reasonable reaction to What Does The Fox Say.

But instead of a reasonable reaction. all of my students watched the first 60 seconds with jaws agape. And then this one kids turns to me like the fucking eye of Sauron and literally goes:

[mactiir]

My husband told me I also should share the next part of this story, where I, feebly trying to defend my honor against a child, said, "No, this video was just big when I was in college!" and he scoffed, rolled his eyes, and absolutely obliterated me by saying, "So did you go to furry college?"

[389]

[idontthinkthereforeimnot]

No one needs to say it but we all know what it is

[sighinastorm]

IT

[bebe-benzenheimer]

FUCKEN

[sighinastorm]

[foxpost-generator]

ok this one is new to me

[bougiebutchbinch]

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

[voidandradiance]

the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

[booksandchainmail]

#i was in a car with a linguist i had never met before the car trip and like half an hour in he looked at me#after i finished describing a geology thing that was happening out the window and asked if i'd ever spent much time on tumblr#the fuckor of it all#and then we spent six more hours driving#it sure does leave linguistic markers! i'm not sure i'm good with it (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)

[issela-santina]

it is one thing to be a linguist and another to be a linguist who knows enough of 2010s Tumblr to spot one of its enjoyers

[noneedtofearorhope]

probably just a coincidence and not at all a linguistic marker or anything...

[clevercorvidae]

can we have tv dramas set in college please. fucking nothing happens in hs man. now im in college and my friend got chased by feral hogs a week ago in the woods and its like the 5th craziest thing to happen this week

[largishcat]

i forgot to post this but which one of you lame ass nerds works at my dentists old office

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

i'm not the guy who always has mini bagels in his purse but today i happened to and, by some stroke of god, today also happened to be the day my brother declined a bagel in front of me with the statement "i'm not hungry enough for a whole bagel." so obviously i ask "would you be hungry enough for a bagel if it was like, a miniature version of one?" and when he said yes, miraculously pull a mini bagel from my purse. so now i seem like a guy who always has mini bagels on him

[yuripink]

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

[heaven011]

[rococo-the-clown]

Can't quite cope with how much this looks like me and my dad

[rococo-the-clown]

It begins

[rococo-the-clown]

Photo credit to the exceeding bemused sound technician we bribed with two cans of Carlsberg to permit us access to his gazebo.

[neaveings]

one of me and my brothers favourite bits to do is pretend we're cavemen seeing modern things for the first time. like an airplane passes overhead and i go 'caveman' and we both point and stare at it pass with gazes of abject horror and disbelief like we're about to experience the rapture and have seen the closest thing to god we ever will

[spiribia]

whoever came up with the 'crossing fingers behind your back nullifies a promise being made' thing should be given nobel prize for service to the visual artists depicting a character being untruthful or traitorous through shorthand

[fayevalcntine]

" 'As much as I hated him, with him we were . . . complete.' [...] " No, only you were complete . . .' I said to her. Because there were two of us, one on either side of you, from the beginning.' - Interview with the Vampire

[trashcangimmick]

[lenoirexv]

Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt | INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 1x05 | A Vile Hunger for Your Hammering Heart.

[homunculus-argument]

I think one of the funniest things about kids is how they'll be very observant and lack context for anything. Like imagine someone having to explain their small kids that some other adult in the grocery store was acting absolutely horrid because some grownups aren't real adults, they're just kids in adult bodies trying to pretend to be grownups, and some of them are bad at it. Real grownups don't throw tantrums in grocery stores.

And three weeks later one of the kids sees a trainee at the daycare fuck up something that the other daycare workers have no problem doing, and observes "you're just a kid trying to pretend to be an adult, aren't you?" and this whole-ass young adult will have to process that they were just read for fucking filth by somebody who was born in 2021.

[homunculus-argument]

It fucks with me that dog intelligence is tested with obedience tests, so there's a significant bias towards compliant dog breeds. Dogs that are intelligent enough to understand what is being asked of them, but are too headstrong and/or independent to go through with it, get lumped up with the dogs that might want to do what people ask them to do, but are too stupid to understand the assignment.

And it fucks with me that chihuahuas are actually quite intelligent. They're not stressed and angry because they're too stupid to understand what's going on. They understand exactly what's going on, and that's why they're so angry and stressed.