The first time it happened was in Eden, when Crowley was still regularly changing between forms. Aziraphale simply plopped down beside him one day, a veritable cornucopia of fruit gathered in the skirt of his robe, and proceeded to eat and talk and try to cajole Crowley into trying things until the heat of the day and the fullness of his stomach seemed to lull him into a heavy-eyed stupor. Leaning back on the rock Crowley was currently coiled upon, he didnât even seem to notice that his fluffy angelic head had come to rest on something rather less rock-like. And he was so warm. It was only instinct, really, for Crowley to loop himself around the angelâs shoulders and go to sleep.
The second time it happened, they were stumbling-drunk, giggling and shushing their way up to one or the other of their dwellings. Crowley didnât remember transforming, but when he woke to Aziraphaleâs pained moan some time the following day, he was draped across Aziraphaleâs prone and hungover body in his snake form, and didnât see any urgent need to change back.
The third time it happened, Crowley was merely cold and feeling daring. He was quite prepared for Aziraphale to tut and push him off â and really, irritating the angel could be its own kind of fun â but just like before, Aziraphale barely seemed to notice the incursion on his personal space. After a few minutes, the steady warm weight of his hand came to rest somewhere on the length of Crowleyâs spine.
After that, it happened several times more, never quite premeditated, but certainly never too often to be obvious. âAziraphale doesnât seem to mind a giant black snake snuggling up to himâ simply became a fact of existence on Earth, a trinket, a little pearl of information, akin to âAziraphale likes booksâ and âthe British Isles are a bit dampâ. In terms of what it meant, at first Crowley didnât know, and then he didnât dare hope, and then he did dare hope, and then he just tried not to think about it to the extent that that was possible.
Then the Apocalypse came and went, and they somehow survived it, and the whole world took on a gold-tinted glow. They walked side by side towards the Ritz, and only detoured briefly when Aziraphale, with a deep breath and a âsorry, my dear, but I really need toââ pushed Crowley up against a tree trunk and kissed him breathless. Well, âbrieflyâ in the context of the length of time Crowley had been dreaming about such a thing â by the time they disentangled and continued on their way, the sun had actually moved quite an appreciable angle across the sky.Â
Crowley couldnât have been happier. Could barely speak from happiness, in fact, which worked out fine because Aziraphale had a great deal to say and Crowley simply watched him with the utmost contentedness as he talked and glowed and filled the room with light.
It was only once they had returned to the bookshop that uncertainty crept up on him. Aziraphale was buzzing around the stacks like a delighted honeybee in a field of flowers, and Crowley shoved his fingers into his too-small pockets and felt, all of a sudden, surplus to requirements.
In the past, he would have just left, made some casual parting remark and waved over his shoulder as he sauntered out, wishing all the while he couldâve found it in himself to stay a little longer. It had always seemed easier to remove himself, before Aziraphale had to ask him to go. Now, though. Now was a world in which Aziraphale had kissed him, a world they had helped to save together. Now was a world in which âour sideâ wasnât just a pipe dream or a very vivid hallucination. Now, maybe, he felt a little bit braver.
Braver, but still unwilling to mess it all up.
âIsss thisss okay?â Crowley hissed as he slithered his way up to Aziraphaleâs shoulders. Aziraphale turned his head to give him a long look, before a gentle smile curved the corner of his mouth, and he left his books behind to walk the short distance to his favourite armchair in the back room.
Once seated, he sighed. âMy dear, this is perfect,â he said, radiating warmth and contentedness. He stroked one hand tenderly down a length of Crowleyâs scales. âThough I would certainly not be averse to trying it the human way tomorrow.â
âTomorrow,â Crowley agreed. And maybe, he was starting to realise, all the days after, as well.