Y'know, I thought it'd be easier

[dankmemeuniversity]

[spacemancharisma]

I am dying for tiktok witches to give me all the details on the governments secret coven of spellcasters employed to make sure that white people burning fruit can’t hurt any politicians with their psychic beams

[o-kurwa]

[ebaybumpstock]

some people masturbate for pleasure. others out of boredom. me? i masturbate to save all of california from a devastating earthquake

[kodachromatics]

[marlbororeds100s-deactivated202]

aint this show abt high schoolers? dude in the middle looks like a 45 year old vet that got dishonorably discharged 3 months outta basic

[marlbororeds100s-deactivated202]

u mean to tell me he literally is a war vet. i was kidding.....could be anywhere from 25-40 omfg

[sparrowpharoh]

He fought in WWI after being inspired to join the military by the ghosts of WWII vets. He goes to school in the 50's, graduates and enlists in 2020, leaves for seven years to fight in a war that only lasted four and ended in 1918, and when he comes back it's 2021. Characters will use rotary phones to call numbers they looked up on their macbooks.

[hyumjim]

that reply made me feel like I ate too much edibles

[badassdemonsword]

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

[snakest1cks]

i literally cannot escape

[manscaped]

we will track you down no matter what the cost

[midiport]

[exitwound]

i was born inside an airpod case 3 minutes ago your honor and i love abortion

[atlassolid-prower]

this is the most unhelpful post ever

[exitwound]

do i look like a fucking faq to you

[exitwound]

#f slur

is it a slur to ask questions frequently

[powerburial]

Holy fuck. Shiniest head I’ve ever seen. I was instantly entranced when I saw it. Completely forgot what I was reading about. I forgot everything. There was no me, no world. It was just his head- no, the reflection. I can see the whole universe reflected in his bald head, as if our world is nothing more than that reflection. Our reality is his shiny bald head’s dream. What a religious experience. Enrapturing, utterly biblical.

[tinderfinds]

“I’ve been getting nothing but lesbians”

[hyundaimovietheatre]

wholesome

[chaeronaea]

“i’m a fool in a man’s shoes” is the most powerful thing i have ever read

[utopians]

actually extremely upset that they released a trailer for avatar 2. I’ve been chuckling over the ‘any day now’ post for years now I’m not ready to lose that

[memewhore]

[fangoriousfae]

poggers

[thedorkdionysia]

[munchroome]

[nemfrog]

“The non-athlete can often make an important contribution to the team.” Experiences in Homemaking. 1960.

Internet Archive

[bunnerella]

[mavisbeaconofficial]

Being the cumdump

[pitbolshevik]

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

[pitbolshevik]

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

[pitbolshevik]

omw to go sit in your pool

[gaymageclub]

this is why kennedy space center had to install fancy outward-curving fences around the launchpad, bc gators climbing over regular fences and getting on the launchpad could be very dangerous

[songsofwaterandnight]

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

[weaselle]

turns out they climb trees too. Like regularly. they tend to do it a lot less once they reach certain sizes, but like several crocodilian species turn out to have a whole development period where they spend a lot of time in trees, and we just never knew that until like 2014 because, understandably, nobody who was studying them thought “i wonder if I should look for a bunch of crocodiles up in the trees”

[frottinq]

new phobia just dropped

[matriarchyuzi-deactivated202508]

Guys, crocodiles and alligators are lizards. Large ones, but still lizards

[pitbolshevik]

they’re actually more closely related to birds than lizards :)