Not Quite the World

This is the blog of Renowned Homosexual C.S. Swost. You may swoon.

[trek-tracks]

Moon'll stop doing that if it knows what's good for it

[trek-tracks]

Happy Moon Landing Day (July 20, 1969). It does move a little, sometimes.

[practically-an-x-man]

watching the DND movie again and there are just SO many things to love about it but the one I keep coming back to is how Holga is ALLOWED to be a Barbarian. She has muscle. She has body hair. She has visible scars and tattoos that aren't "pretty". Her armor actually covers her body and isn't designed to be sexy. She's a messy eater. She walks with strength and doesn't sashay. She is gruff and violent and powerful, but still gets moments of genuine connection and emotion because the writers haven't conflated Strong Woman with Emotionless Mannequin. She's a mother figure and loves her child but doesn't magically soften for it. They haven't written her to be "dumpy" for being a strong woman, she is both extremely attractive and not particularly feminine.

I fucking love her and I'm so glad the writers did her right.

[deadpowol]

[naamahdarling]

I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.

[sandmandaddy69]

[cuppydogshane]

no matter what else happens in the world at least Spock is Gay

[unspokengrief]

idk about you but im trapped in a brain that hates me and im exhausted

[pizza-waiter]

I just wanna see penis tbh

[thestuffedalligator]

I’m going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.

I have no idea what “Fire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child no” means and at this point I’m too scared to ask.

[dementian]

For once I can be of assistance.

Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.

"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"

Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV

"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"

House of the Rising Sun

"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"

Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys

"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."

FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite

And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.

Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)

[impossiblepackage]

this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.

in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.

the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.

but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.

[log6]

"you seem like you hate everything" I absolutely do we are living in utterly undignified times this shit is embarrassing at an existential level

[sickinthemezzanine]

[god-of-filth]

[mysticalcats]

it's really gross how you can be self aware enough to know what's going on in your head but you can't actually stop it from happening. i need to grab it like a pigeon that got stuck in a house and throw it out the window. be free

[pitchburgh]

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

[pitchburgh]

you should also be able to do this to job listings

[segamascott]

[mockiatoh]

Saw several people angrily responding to this one & all I can say is she’s 100% right

[aeschylus-stan-account]

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

[thecoolertails]

thanks that was really helpful

[justgivemeabookplease]

Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.

[fitzchivalry]