[batmanshole]

crisp glass of water moodboard

[anonymous-transitioner]

it's a trap by Big Toilet™

(just kidding I love water now that I've kicked carbonated and caffeinated drinks out my diet)

[herobrilne]

miks kalevipoja munad müügil on? kas tal on tõesti neid nii palju??

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[alucardsinep]

“keskmine inimene sööb kolm ämblikku aastas” faktoid tegeligult vaid statistiline viga. keskmine inimene sööb 0 ämblikku aastas. Ämbliku Jüri, kes elab koopas & sööb rohkem kui 10 000 iga päev, on erind aj seda poleks tohtinud arvestada

[toonfinatic]

Niche fanfic AU: character A is a Finn on a booze cruise to Tallinn, character B is an Estonian SuperAlko cashier

[hivefleetwarrior]

i’d just like everyone to know that tyranids can loaf btw

[memecucker]

Imagine if medieval/renaissance alchemists were shown crystal meth and then told these powerfully psychoactive crystals are synthesized in laboratories and workshops

[cryptotheism]

Alchemist: incredible! This will earn me patronage from a wealthy lord!

Modern guy: actually this stuff is so valuable you don't even need patronage

Alchemist:

[revolverspinner]

Teen me didn't know what a monsterfucker was but that didn't stop em from being one

[good-ol-day]

Does anyone know what these types of pictures are called??

[sheepismdoescrime]

Reblogging this because I have one

[surmatants]

Another commission I've made recently

[eqqtt]

Come, Frodo. Walk beside me, and let your thoughts find rest

[sh1-n0bu]

do you guys think that yautjas have like,,, their own form of social media and thirst edits and stuff? like one of the yautjas would be like:

“this is my hear me out”: shows picture of human reader after another gladiatorial combat, all messy, tired, filthy and most definitely covered in whatever blood of the creature

and the comments are either

yautja.No1: you fool, your “hear me out” is supposed to be something diabolical. like xenomorph or something

ooman_fvcker: i’m hearing you out

galacticalmenace: that ain’t a “hear me out”. that’s a “hold me back”

xeno-hater: i ain’t no damn prey but…

[oliautumn-electric-boogaloo]

This is so fucking funny.

One yautja gets on human social media and is like "damn they freakier than us"

[slasherkisss]

What are some NSFW headcannons for the Collector, Pyramid head, yautjas, and Midnight man?

[my brain only registered Midnight Man and I am SO HYPE FOR IT BLESS YOUR HEART ANON]

Asa Emory/The Collector

Knifeplay is his passion. This man is brutal with his weapon (hehe) and will use it. You better be into masochism because he’ll make you stick your tongue out and slice the tender flesh, making you count each gash and drink up your own blood

Brutal dom. He’ll make you cum several times only to make you wait until he says so at the very last moment. He’s nearly unfair in his treatment of his sub, pushing their limits and bending them in ways (both physically and mentally) that they nearly aren’t sure they can keep up with. He believes in them, though.

Serious self control. The man can pace himself and make it so that he lasts far longer than his partner could ever dream of. He will be the last one to cum and it will be ferocious and needy as he does so all over you.

Surprisingly talkative during sex. Though he’s a quiet man by nature, you’ll get the most out of him when he’s fucking you into a surface. Gentle dirty talk and swift commands that leave you more turned on echo from his lips and its amazing to hear his voice as often as you do when you fuck. He’s doing it so that, every time you hear his voice, you think of him fucking you and get turned on. 

Pyramid Head/The Executioner

Man has himself a size kink. Everyone is basically smaller than him he loves it. Being able to throw his s/o around in his arms and control them like a rag doll, positioning them however he wants, and admiring their body from whatever angle he choses is a big turn on.

Into period play. You can fight me on that one. He likes feeling his AFAB s/o bleed around his fingers and the extra liquid helps his dick slide in so much nicer. He has a lot of lube around too if you’re AMAB too so don’t you worry.

Loves bending his s/o over things while he fucks them. He loves the way it makes them squeeze around him and he likes having one hand on their hips and the other around the back of their neck as he all but breeds them into the surface.

He has a tongue and he will use it to eat you out. It’s a long, black, sentient appendage that crawls from the cracks of his massive head. It’s thick and throbbing, way more unnatural than any other tongue you might see, and does a wonderful job of reaching into your deepest places and curling in on you oh-so sweetly. He loves nothing more than to taste you and drool inside of you. 

Yautja/Predator

Two Words: Praise kink. Yautja’s love to hear how much they’re pleasing you, whether it be with your moans or your words, any sort of positive reinforcement for them makes their pride swell and their urge to fuck you faster all the stronger.

Loves to fuck after fighting. They spar with their partner, that much is known, and the more rowdy and dirty a fight, the more they want to get down and dirty. Pinning you down into the ground and having their way with you is one of their favorite things. Likewise, if you pin THEM down and have your way with them? Oh baby~

Bruises and bite marks go both ways. They LOVE to litter you with marks and scrapes to show how much they’ve pleasured you, but will purr and be putty in your hands if you sink your teeth into their skin and drag your nails down their back as well. They want to be claimed by you equally. 

Huge cuddlers after sex. Yautja are as clingy as puppies when they’re basking in the after glow of your sexscapades with you. Their arms are wrapped around you, clinging tight and purring against you as the two of you relax in your sweat and blood. Tends to be the first to fall asleep as well. 

Midnight Man

Big into fear play.  He knows what scares you and to see you writhing under him in both fear and arousal turns him on all the more. He wants to hear you scream in both ways. 

Always bites when he kisses. This entity is cheeky in his kisses and loves to inflict pain on you during them. It’s quite common to feel his teeth sink into your lower lip as you kiss, drawing blood only to have it be licked away by his tongue. He finds it very erotic when your blood is smeared on his own lips after. 

Slow, steady, and teasing. This man knows how to work your body better than you do and he will do everything in his power to make you a writhing, edged mess ready to beg for him. He’s cruel in that he loves to torment you, even more than Asa will, and laugh at your pain before granting you what you want.

The worst with aftercare. He’s not great at understanding human needs and isn’t big on cuddling, so it’s more often than not you’ll either have to force him to stay with you or live with him disappearing basically within minutes of you coming down from your orgasm. He has people to kill, darling, it’s not his fault that his nature is so... shadow-based. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, though, it’s just his nature to be everywhere and nowhere. Nothing personal. 

[just-some-friendly-fun]

Mischaracterization is so brutal to me, especially with a fictional goober you love with your entire being, because one day I'll just be looking for a very heart healthy fic and in the fic.

My favorite character has been entirely taken over by some skinwalker and transformed into a dark romance protagonist that's been pumped with roids and viagra, and if we aren't fucking on the floor in 0.3 seconds, they will throw something, or act out with the brutality of a grizzly bear on crack cocaine.

It's gotten to the point where it feels like I just left my dog at the groomers only to be given back a completely different dog altogether.

I ALSO DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN JUST GO, "omg! yeah! He'd totally do that!" when all else points at the fact that, no. They would not???? I am saying this with a straight face as my beloved is being melted down into something beyond recognition, and being forced to go, "Oh that's gore, that's gore of my comfort character,"

[a-breath-of-pipeweed]

i’m thinking about sub aragorn and i am unwell

send help

-💛

sub aragorn that's so desperate that he basically guides your hands to his hair to pull on it

sub aragorn that kneels on the floor in front of you sitting on the bed and nuzzles his face against your knees

sub aragorn that reassures you that you can be rougher with him and that he can take it

sub aragorn that grinds his hard on against the mattress while he eats you out

sub aragorn that sheds a few tears after you edge him for the seventh time in one night

sub aragorn that shivers slightly when you claw a long scratch down his chest

sub aragorn that pulls against his restraints while you slowly undress in front of him

sub aragorn that asks "am i being good?" in a small voice because he is craving your praise

sub aragorn that's literally a head taller than you and much much broader but you have him whimpering and whiny just from jerking him slowly with your hand

anyway need i go on? cause i can

[hard-to-be-the-bard]

Slashers x S/O

Thank you!! :) I hope you’re taking care too, and I hope you don’t mind me adding one more person to this, I just thought it would fit nicely :)

Pyramid Head:

- He can’t seem to understand why you don’t like the way you look

- He loves your body, regardless of any mark, scratch, or stretch marks that you seem so upset about

- But if he notices you pulling away when you two are more intimate, trying to hide them from him

- He’ll gently tug your hands away, tracing over the marks.

- He’ll tip his head gently at you, touching the cool metal against your forehead reassuringly

- You’d smile at him, softly, before running a hand along his arms

- He’d wrap his arms around you, tightly, holding you there

Jason Voorhees:

- He knew what it was like, to be unsure about the way you looked

- After all, he’d been bullied as a child for it

- Even dying as a result of it

- So when he sees your frown, as you run a hand along the marks, he’ll swap your hands for his.

- Smiling at you from under his mask, tilting his head as if to ask what’s wrong

- You shake your head, mumbling a response

- He’ll take you for the rest of the day

- Wrapping you in a blanket

- Cuddling until you finally fall asleep

Michael Myers:

- Michael doesn’t care how you look.

- There’s a high chance that he won’t pay attention to you

- But he’ll notice when you frown at the way you look

- After a while of this, he’ll finally take matters into his own hands

- Pulling you into his lap

- After all, he’s chosen you

- And he’s determined to show you just how much you mean to him

- Even if he never normally shows it

Yautja:

- Scars and marks are a large part of Yautja culture.

- So when he sees you frowning at them, upset at the fact they’re there

- He confronts you

- “Why are you ashamed, little ooman?” He asks, mandibles clicking, as a purr erupts from his chest, pulling you close, wanting to sooth you

- He can smell your unease, and you explain to him, that humans don’t normally show off their marks and scars

- He shakes his head at this, telling you that you’re on a yautja ship now. And any other yautja would be proud to bear the marks that you have.

- You smile and thank him, burying your head into his neck, his mandibles clicking, tangling in your hair, his purrs louder now, soothing you, as he feels you relax, and your unease fade.

- “You are strong ooman”

[flikkerij]

i will do ANYTHING but work on my essay apparently

[archaeos]

Hollywood archaeology: Secret treasure! Hidden maps! Ancient tombs!

Actual archaeology:

[ivanaskye]

so I wanted to find a picture of the lobster and

behold! an archaeologist

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

There are many benefits to being a marine archeologist

[archaeologysucks]

I feel it is important to inform you that in archaeology, we call this bioturbation.