Tulum is like... adult summer camp. Your feet are constantly dirty. You will get so many bug bites. You are not the master of your own destiny. Based on the ubiquitous blog entries and travel mag pieces, I had a misguided impression that Tulum was see-and-be-seen. However, unless you own a closet of chic linen rompers and have "magic skin" (coined by one of my travel companions in reference to the fact that other patrons in line at Hartwood somehow weren't perspiring at 3:00 in the direct sun), you will feel... wild.
Hammocks. Our resort (Hotel Coco) had a hammock for every room and eight hammocks right on the beach. I read three books just by swinging away the days.
Coqui Coqui’s spa - specifically, the coconut papaya scrub treatment. However, please know this is not for the modest. We booked our appointments 2 and 2 (you don’t have a choice, there are only two tables in the spa) without the realization that you will not only be showering (twice) in direct line of sight of your compatriot, but in FULL view of the whole beach below. (The spa is that little white box in the picture). Also, you will not want to eat papaya for the rest of the trip and it is on every fruit plate.
Sanara’s yoga studio and restaurant The Real Coconut - Sanara, which is pretty pricey, offers easy access by signing up for one of their yoga classes ($20). On one of the prettiest bits of beach (see the water photo), you look directly at the sea, which is ample distraction from the fact that the class might be entry-level. The Real Coconut seems like a slice of Southern California, with juices and smoothies and vegan bowls - not cheap, but worth milking the ambiance as long as you can.
Posada Margherita - we ate here twice (three times if you count breakfast) by virtue of its proximity to our hotel. At night, totally candlelit and filled with seaside breezes and buzzy energy. HUGE ciabatta plate (lots of places offer bread for free), al dente pasta, and the most reasonable burrata salad on which I’ve laid eyes (THREE balls - unheard of!). The breakfast menu is worth the glance solely for charming illustrations.
Healthy fare, everywhere - I came home from this trip totally guilt-free in the eats department. I ate dinner at a vegan restaurant (Restaurare), including coconut ceviche. I had a really top-notch za’tar hummus under a disco ball at Gitano. The nachos were there, I just didn’t need them.
Logistical tips (mostly downers):
Unless you are restless, you don’t need a car. Shuttle service (we arranged through our hotel) gets you there; after that, feet, rented bikes, and if you get really desperate, those ubiquitious taxis do the trick.
The bugs are no joke, especially when on the jungle side (most restaurants). I’ll be wearing pants until my munched legs heal up. This is with OFF and bug bands. I’m at a loss how this can be avoided (with the exception of Hartwood’s relentless smoking of their dining area).
Nothing is cheap. With the exception of our snorkel trip (via Mexi Divers, who I recommend), I was never marveling at how reasonably things were priced. I found most of it comparable with (fancy) Chicago. Additionally, BRING YOUR CASH. I was the only one in my party who brought ample pesos (thanks, Ravenswood Chase!) and without that, it would have been a rocky road. Few places take cards and the ATMs on the main drag are less than reliable (i.e. they rarely work at all).
If you are particular, this will be difficult. What you order is often a suggestion. You will be brought the wrong thing. Items will be forgotten. While it happened a lot at our resort, even the high end spots are not immune - while only two members of our foursome requested the coconut papaya scrub, it’s what we ALL got. As long as you are not in a hurry (and why would you be?), you can get accustomed.
Bringing anything other than flats is a waste of time. Either you walk on the (unpaved) side of the main road, or you take the beach and your feet are covered in sand in your fancy shoes.
Before you go, it feels like everyone’s already been. Once you’re there, you feel like you discovered it.
