Don't get your hopes up

. they/he . minor . bi . theatre kid .

[gaybecauseican]

people who shitpost are bottoms

[gaybecauseican]

I love the way Douglas in act two is like, "which cannot choose but bring him quickly on" so basically what you're saying is come aT ME BRO

[lesbianmindflayer-deactivated20]

AKA what Reddit wants

[not-a-dis-a-ppointment]

Finn Wolfhard trashmouth queer character in love with his childhood best friend cinematic universe

Charlie Heaton plays a moody character who uses a gun and has an abusive father cinematic universe

Sadie Sink angry teen character with absent father and complicated family dynamics cinematic universe

Maya Hawke girl-liker cinematic universe

[brostateexam]

[iminthetunnels]

the $5 target plastic egg container stop

[uncomfortablecliche]

if im dead tomorrow this is the post that pushed me over the edge

[nineteenth-order-simulacra]

if i go to your house and your fucking fridge is aesthetic i am crippling you irreversibly with a crowbar gordon freeman style

[ilovedirt]

Was honestly, like, expecting to find a whole human head in there or something

[gaybecauseican]

Buzzfeed quizzes be like: pick some foods and we'll show you your true fridge aesthetic

[gaybecauseican]

Sorry this is a bit late but

The last three things on your search history describe your 2022:

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[isamaegreenleaf]

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

[nnfirnid]

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

[modelinterrupted]

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

[latenightsugar]

WHyyyy

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Sorry everyone

[just-jay25]

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

[kixgbear]

Shiddd

[angiebkxo-deactivated20180626]

this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!

[manynamedshe]

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr

[glamhoeour-deactivated20251207]

I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES

LMAOOOO

[venusians]

Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~

[edge-of-great]

One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card

[aiplejuice]

Oh hell nah I can’t even risking it I’ll reblog this rn

[blacksubzero90]

[imoverallofit]

I dont even joke with it

[dfordisastor]

2020 is not the year to post this…

[astrorising-deactivated20250101]

not risking ANYTHING in 2021

[shygirlsrule]

……Fuck you people who make shit like this knowing I have bad anxiety and paranoia

[jestermawz]

Guess I’m screwed if I don’t reblog this >_>

[gaybecauseican]

I need a little luck rn must not ignore her

[gaybecauseican]

Cats on you are nice except for when they step on your titties. Ouchie

[zero1infinity]

[tsukiyamas]

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

[diggly]

no one tell him

[gaybecauseican]

Seeing this on March 15 just hits different

[gaybecauseican]

Dear people who watched the SGE movie and ship Sophie and Agatha,

I have utmost respect for you, but they're sisters. Honest, serious, popped out of the same woman's coochie twins. Sorry for the spoiler

[gaybecauseican]

Bro the gen Z edition of Harry Potter is killing me :')

[majesticduxk-deactivated2018121]

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

[soupernabturel]

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

[whitmerule]

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

[hazeldomain]

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

[prairiedust]

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

[hazeldomain]

But do you pad across rooms? 

[prairiedust]

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

[mittensmorgul]

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

[k-vichan]

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

[dorkaelskunkworks]

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

[authorjcalamy]

I hate this post so much I clenched my fists and looked away, muscles bunching in my jaw. 

[bettsfic]

i’m so glad to see i’m not alone, i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding

[ao3feed-thorki]

I looked at myself in the mirror, carefully mapping out every detail of my face, especially my eyes. They are cerulean orbs made of pure ocean water that can be seen a 1000 yards away. Is that disturbing? Yes. Yes it is.

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

My breath just hitched and I felt shame wash over me. I know I’m guilty of all of these. 😂

[fortisfiliae]

I felt my cheeks getting hot, deep red spreading across them, while reading these. The guilt is real.

[yourspecialeyes]

This whole post made me chuckle darkly.

[ashfae]

I raised an eyebrow while reading this.

[pearwaldorf]

This post made me quirk my mouth in amusement

[thetardigrape]

This is so wonderful it makes me want to slot my lips together with all of yours.

[nonasuch]

yeah okay I barked out a laugh at this.

[westiec]

oh.

[rainysaturdayafternoon]

pouting and scrunching my eyebrows insistently at this post.

[gaybecauseican]

This post is so amusing that the corners of my mouth began to twitch up into a smile

[just-shower-thoughts]

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

[unclebeanbag]

“Friend”

Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.

[ulysseus]

Plants don’t wage war

[unclebeanbag]

Ever heard of blackberries?

Yes, plants do wage war

[kasaron]

Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. 

[systlin]

I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.

It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.

And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.

[moirakatson]

This post did not go where I expected it to.

[deathbeforednf]

Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn’t been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later.

Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.

[norseminuteman]

Yall mother fuckers don’t even talk unless you’ve had to wage war on kudzu (it’s an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn’t just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It’s some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. 

[breadgunner-deactivated20181003]

Can second the comments of Kudzu.

I forget where I read it but there’s this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that’s in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant’s seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It’s even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.

[booksandwildthings]

I’d like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields:

See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu.

[nevercure]

Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare

They smother every other living plant to death

Those trees under there are dead, they can’t get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It’s creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist’s wet dream tbh.

The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

What used to be a house

Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale

It’s an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake

The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine…. for now.

[nevercure]

Kudzu is on time magazine’s top 10 invasive species to look out for.

This little buddy doing his part

[nevercure]

Not to keep spamming this post but 

“the growth of kudzu as it became a “structural parasite” of the South,[7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as “the vine that ate the South”.[13]”

“It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., “easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually”.[2]“

yall it’s been estimated this plant consumes 600 kilometers of the united states every year

it’s been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away

[kiwilemonteanonsense]

Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots… Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it.

Eat it before it eats your house.

[vagaybond]

@solarpunkcast @solarpunkactionweek @solarpunkinspo @enviropunk feels relevant

[crittizen]

In this world it’s eat or be eaten

[gamebird]

Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu.

Posts that make you go ‘hm.’

[gaybecauseican]

18

That's how many rebloggers added something to this. Spent about seven minutes struggling through this only to see the words "existential angst of building a tree house" said unironically for the first time in my life. This website is crazy

[gaybecauseican]

I feel compelled to make a post so here: I'm leaving tumblr for a long, long time.

[gaybecauseican]

Why I think Nina is pan not bi

-Matthias once said she would flirt with a houseplant so clearly gender doesn't matter

-She told Hanne she would love them no matter their body, and that she loved their heart. Pan people don't see the gender, only the person.

-And the most important reason, the only one that matters, the one that validates everything: she gives the vibe.

[gaybecauseican]

Jesper and Wylan living together and acting like an old married couple in Rule of Wolves gives me hope for the planet.

[gaybecauseican]

There are few things in life that bring me unadulterated joy, but this is one of them: