found footage horror film
agitated girl: mike put the camera down
mike: He ha why its a home movey

Product Placement
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
todays bird
hello vonnie
DEAR READER
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🪼
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom
No title available

Kiana Khansmith
Three Goblin Art

ellievsbear
taylor price
Cosimo Galluzzi
No title available
Mike Driver
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@gaygremlins
found footage horror film
agitated girl: mike put the camera down
mike: He ha why its a home movey
hey... don't cry.... tesla recall for most cybertrucks, okay? >46,000 vehicles affected <3
even better news! It’s not most, it’s all of them!
Remember barely even a week ago when the New York Times editorial staff put out an article calling Trump's erasure of trans people abhorrent, but took no responsibility for their role in it?
Yeah. About that
one time someone online got mad at me for drawing porn of oddish. disregarding any and all discourse about whether or not pokemon pass the harkness test, im sorry, thats an onion. thats a root vegetable. if you truly believe that rule 34 of a sentient onion creature speaks to a desire to have sex with the real life equivalent, you dont have to worry about me commiting beastiality. but keep an eye on me in the produce section
my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush
Otra víctima el Chupacabra
can’t stop laughing
chikorita gets clowned on a lot for its shit stats and a movepool i would be hard-pressed to describe as "extant" but designwise it's really evocative. it begs the kind of questions that make pokemon so magical: what IF a lima bean was a small dog. what IF instead of a head it had like. a weird nub. with an anime face on it. what if it could throw a fistful of razors across the room
Nicole Cliffe has a whole twitter thread about funny/horrifying anaesthesia stories that you should read all of, but this is definitely my favourite
Judging from the way the stripes go, that scarf was knitted sideways. Meaning the person cast on 17 feet’s worth of stitches and knitted those 17 feet back & forth for three inches. I’m in awe.
The next Doctor’s costume looks great.
You forgot the best part
I preface this by saying I have a weird metabolism that clears through anaesthesia crazy fast (I heal quickly too; my spouse has accused me many times of being other than human).
So when I got my wisdom teeth out, my darling warned them not to leave me unattended while in recovery. “She will not take as long as you think to come out of it,” he said. “She will not stay put.”
The medical staff dismissed this as implausible. When my surgery was done, they shuffled me into recovery, ensured I was stable, and left me alone to sleep it off.
I did not take as long as they thought to come out of it. I did not stay put. A startled and slightly horrified nurse intercepted me staggering towards what I was apparently convinced was the exit, but was in fact (I am told) the gent’s.
They bundled me out to the car with embarrassing haste, probably eager to let me be someone else’s problem, and my best beloved took me home, aided by our friend Mathilda, who had volunteered to help wrangle.
They got me home and I immediately passed out on the sofa for round two of my drug nap. They ran out very quickly to the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions, figuring they’d be back before I woke up again (I have also been accused, again by my spouse, of being likely to sleep through the apocalypse).
The fools.
So… Backstory: we, as a group of friends, had been trying for a while to beat the last level of a video game, and nobody had managed it yet.
When m'darling and Mathilda got back, I was no longer on the sofa. The TV was on, displaying the screen where I had victoriously finished the game. The whiteboard in the hall had been wiped clean of any trace of grocery list or memos, and instead had a huge, smug SUCK IT, BITCHES written on it in multiple colors, and I was unconscious and snoring, facedown in the hallway, halfway through the bedroom door.
This was over ten years ago. I have yet to live it down.
Sometimes facebook is hilarious
I don't think "having sex" is important. What's important is arachnid locomotion is controlled by a system of hydraulic compression
“the human body can make a baby perfectly but will hurt for years after a random injury!” fun fact. the human body also gets severely fucked up with pregnancy
i really need people to start to realize how dangerous reproduction is. not to discourage those who want to reproduce, but to finally dismantle these false narratives of it being this perfect, easy breezy process that will never have complications or permanent body altering consequences
also it can be very lethal. please look at maternal mortality rates and especially look at how it impacts certain communities based on race
Baby need smoko
Sound up! 😂🏴😂🏴😂🏴
[video description: a firefighter in gear slides down a poll, grabs his hat from lockers behind the poll, and boards the fire truck. a second person comes down the poll, they are wearing a formal kilt and it's skirts fly up as they fall. they run to grab something as well, but instead of a helmet its a bagpipes. the emergency lights from the truck start up. our kilted friend arranges the bagpipes for playing. and does a half jog, as he makes his way to the truck. he plays the bagpipe with two alternating notes, closely mimicking the sounds made by emergency vehicles. you can hear people off screen realize what's going on and break out laughing (they might be laughing at the way their friend is running) the video ends as he climbs into the fire truck :end video description]
don't care + running + jumping + skipping + hopping + having fun + playing
Dad is life sized chew toy