uhhhh clever title here i guess

any pronouns you want. 29, NEET, agender, autistic, disabled by mental illness (GAD, depression, ARFID, C-PTSD), and chronic illness (IC/BPS, hypoglycemia, probable dysautonomia, chronic pain). biromantic sex-repulsed ace. I reblog mainly funny/cute stuff, memes, science, spoonie and SJW shit. Rarely post about my garden, my family, and whining about how shit life is/how hard living is.  occasional mania-induced rants.  also pretty clothes sometimes. I can read Japanese and Esperanto, and respond in basic Japanese or Esperanto, although I suck at it.  I love my mutuals and would love to get asks but i can't guarantee i won't be too busy panicking that someone talked to me to answer you!  ETA: WARNING:  OCASSIONAL UNTAGGED TRIGGERS.  I do my best to tag but it's not reliable; I sometimes get depressed enough that I can only reblog, nothing else.  Otherwise I'll tag all common triggers, animals by name, media franchises, and anything that's requested.  LMK if you need tags.  last updated: may 17, 2021

[drangel76]

love or hate flowery you cannot deny his impact on the vocal stimming community. his jarona

[raccoonmilf]

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

[fading-constellation]

happy disability pride month to those who rely on support from people who don't want to deal with them. to those who have to beg their loved ones for support. to those who have had others get tired of them and suddenly drop all support. to those who are barely hanging on because they need support from others and no one is willing to help them.

i hope we all get the help we need. i hope we'll all be okay. i love you.

[hollowistheworld]

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[doeeyedwolf]

One thing that people forget about the civil rights movement, the Black Panther Party in particular, is that they were keenly aware of the aesthetics and public perception of their movements/actions, nearly every single thing they did was carefully coordinated to use these things to their advantage. They knew that white Americans would be viewing everything they did antagonistically, even their supposed white allies, which meant that demonstrators needed to be highly disciplined and trained in their responses. Especially in today's day and age where leftist movements (particularly white leftist movements) bicker about the "proper" way to advocate for their ideals, we often forget that the targeted audience for civil rights actions was extremely important to consider, especially when using one as an example to uplift or steer away from. Not every action should be seen as speaking to the public, many did and that changed how actions were planned and carried out, but some of the actions that folks now call "too extreme" or"undesirable" or "radical", weren't meant for the general public at all.

Some leaders chose to highlight the cruelty of their oppressors by remaining calm or peaceful when encountering abuse (like mentioned in the post about sit-ins), speaking directly to the audience of the general public, while others chose to highlight their strength and defense of their communities, speaking directly to those that wished them harm (like the BPP open carry demonstrations) or to communicate that support and defense to their own communities (like the famous BPP free breakfast program, or free sickle cell anemia testing programs).

When it comes to communication strategies and revolutionary advocacy, sometimes we need to humble ourselves when getting into the discourse weeds about "this won't bring people to our side", as sometimes those actions aren't meant to have that effect at all. Sometimes an action is meant to be off putting, not to the public, but to those who seek to harm marginalized people. Sometimes an action is meant to only benefit the communities being impacted. Not every action can be tailored to gaining public favor, because the general public isn't the only audience. We need to be able to communicate that we will defend our neighbors to those who wish them harm, we need to be able to communicate that we will support our neighbors to those who need that support. We need all forms of advocacy and actions, because movements are only effective when we have the ability to speak directly to every audience, which the civil rights movement lays out beautifully. Its not a "this way is the best way", its a "how can my chosen actions support those taking other kinds of actions?"

[sunhatred-deactivated20220531]

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[ardatli]

This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.

“Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?”

[unclothed-i-shall-return]

#I read an article a long time ago about a woman who was raised in an incredibly repressive conservative christian community#where all that mattered was purity and virginity etc #She talked about how for a long time rape fantasies were the only way she could derive any pleasure from sex #because she couldn’t feel safe exploring the idea of wanting sex #it wasn’t really ABOUT rape or eroticizing assault or whatever #it was about creating a scenario where she was free from the shame associated with wanting #i think this is true of a lot of icky-seeming stuff in romance and erotica #it’s an imaginary scenario where nothing you don’t really want actually happens #but you can’t be blamed or feel guilty for it #you didn’t do anything wrong#anyway that article changed my perspective a lot #i think there’s also something to be said for people who have felt ugly and undesirable their whole lives #enjoying fictional scenarios where a hot alpha werewolf or whatever is so attracted to them he ‘cant help himself’ or whatever #because it can also be really shameful to want to be desired #when you feel like youre ugly and gross ( @headspace-hotel )

[ceann-cinnidh]

What 👏 if i ran 👏 away 👏 but no one 👏 could blame me 👏 for leaving 👏

[lierdumoa]

So many fantasies really just boil down to, “What if I could get what I wanted without having to ask for it or even admit I want it?”

[queeranarchism]

If you're a leftist who finds inspiration in the stories of the anarchist and communist revolutions, you also need to find wisdom in its excesses, it's cruelty and it's vulnerability to corruption. If you find pride in the history of the resistance movements against nazism, you also need to find introspection in the fact that many resistance members ended up raping the wives and abusing the youngest children of nazis the moment the power was reversed.

I don't trust people who only explore the pretty parts of leftist history. It doesn't lead to a realistic understanding of our past movements and it doesn't make us prepared to see the flawed, vulnerable and ugly in our current movements. Will you recognize and confront the rapist in your local group? How can you, if you won't even recognize and confront him across 80 years of distance?

[queeranarchism]

Some commie with zero reading comprehension interpreted this as an 'anarchists good, other leftists bad' post or something, and just to be sure I wanna clarify that it isn't.

I thought it was clear from "If you're a leftist who finds inspiration in the stories of the anarchist and communist revolutions" but just in case it wasn't: I wrote this with anarchists in mind just as much as anyone else.

I thought it was also clear from 'you're a leftist' and 'you' that this is aimed at individual lefties and does not imply that specific leftist groups or movements have a systematic habit of doing this. Some groups might, but I'm certainly not accusing them of that in this post.

So, ya know, if this isn't about you: chill the fuck out.

[geekwithsandwich]

i'm so fuckin tired of this shit man. just got my marshmallow root i ordered in the mail and opened it up and it smells. bad. not the same bad smell of other bad batches i've had and i'm gonna try using it anyway and just see how it goes b/c the internet does seem to suggest there's normal variation in smell. but i don't have high hopes.

i need this shit for my bladder. it is the only thing that works. it's been literal YEARS since the last time i was able to find marshmallow root that wasn't rotten. things have gotten worse and i'm actually slightly incontinent now, i leak just a little tiny bit on and off and it's gross and sucks and is giving me like a rash no matter how hard i try to dry the area out. i tried marshmallow pills but they did nothing. some ppl who use marshmallow say that aloe also works so trying that is my next stop, but for some reason my mom doesn't want me to? like she thinks aloe is bad to eat/drink? i pointed out to her that there's massively popular aloe-based drinks they sell at the grocery store and she just kind of went "hmmm" in a way that usually means she isn't changing her mind even if she's proven wrong. i'll probably buy it anyway even if she doesn't want me to but i hate having these stupid conversations.

ugh...... at least the new SI joint brace i bought seems to be doing wonders for my pelvic alignment. still too early to be sure of how much it's helping and i do struggle to find the exact correct place around my hips for it, but even a small improvement in this area is a huge relief.

[thesewersofparis]

btw i live on nailpolish reddit nowadays

and everyone is posting their 4th of july manis

except this year its very few american flags and red white and blue and stars.

and a LOT of pond scum inspiration

[aniseandspearmint]

This is an absolutely FASCINATING cultural snapshot.

[daysleftofsecondterm]

My personal favourite ones

[ilex-cassine]

This spiny-backed orb weaver crop top came to me in a dream and I had to make her real. Approximately 6474847 errors were made in the cropping and painting of this shirt. I am okay with it.

[dramatic-dolphin]

who let biologists play dnd

[probablyacerpgideas]

would you let the druid wildshape into coral based on this post

yes

no

Remaining time: 4 days 13 hours

no "nuance" just yes or no

[batshit-auspol]

In a 1996 by-election, one of the candidates for Australia's parliament changed his name to Steve Grim-Reaper so he wouldn't get mixed up with other candidates

[batshit-auspol]

Update: Thanks to some brilliant suggestions from you all, we have an even better contender - A man who ran in the 1998 federal election named 'Prime Minister John Piss the Family Court and Legal Aid' who received a whopping 183 votes for the party 'Abolish Child Support'. Sounds like a lovely guy.

Unfortunately for Mr Prime Minister Piss, this name change came back to haunt him after he was denied a passport a few years later due to the name. This led to this quite incredible entry into Australia's case law that is still frequently cited today:

Unfortunately for Pisso, the court ruled that the government was right to deny him a passport, on the grounds that the phrase "Prime Minister" might be considered by some to be offensive.

Australia went on to change the laws around name changes as a result of Mr PM JP, making him the first and last Prime Minister Piss we'll likely ever see on the ballot in our lifetimes, and democracy is all the poorer for it.

[batshit-auspol]

Honourable mention to this headline from a South African newspaper:

And this quote from Time magazine:

[potted-orchard]

There was more than one of them!

[batshit-auspol]

"BRUCE THE-FAMILY-COURT-REFUSES-MY-DAUGHTER'S-RIGHT-TO-KNOW-HER-FATHER"!!!!!

Truly one of the names of all time

[matrixdragon]

That is a name that answers every question about why he's not allowed contact with his daughter, I feel.

[acethememelorde]

HELLO???

[batshit-auspol]

How does this post keep getting weirder.

So we looked it up and yes, it was indeed the 'Dane' recording studio owner who attempted to stage a fascist uprising in Melbourne (of all places) in the 90s.

This was the last update we could find on him in the news, sounds like he's doing well for himself:

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"

Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.

[thequeeninyellowlace]

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

[tearsofrefugees]

Clerks smile and 'flip off' security camera while 'sneaking' immigrants out of courthouse: DOJ

Two Utah court clerks have been dubbed "anti-ICE vigilantes" after they were allegedly caught "sneaking" immigrants out the back door of the

[antifainternational]

That's how you show real solidarity!

"After they overheard that ICE was at the courthouse to arrest someone, they improperly accessed court databases to determine who was not born in the United States," a DOJ detention filing says. "They then snuck every suspected illegal alien who was at the courthouse out a back door, where ICE, who was waiting in the parking lot for their target to leave the building, could not see them."

Think about what you can do at your job or in your daily life to resist fascism when the opportunity presents itself!

[genderoutlaws]

fundraiser for their legal expenses x

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened"; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

[rootingformephistopheles]

I feel it would be good to have a word that's like not ragebait but shamebait, where you can read a post and just go 'ah, this person just wants me to feel ashamed of myself and is not engaging with the issue in a constructive or useful way. I do not have to participate in this actually' and like. move on with your day

[rootingformephistopheles]

So the most common response I've gotten to this post other than positivity/general agreement is some flavor of 'um that's just called guilt tripping sweaty' 🙄 and like, on the one hand, you can call it whatever you want to babes this is just a word that my OCD brain liked so I posted about it. I am not forcing you to call it anything. But on the other hand, I think it's maybe worth it to talk about the differences between guilt and shame because people might use them interchangeably a lot but they aren't the same at all, and I think it's important to make the distinction, hence why I liked the idea of shamebait.

Guilt is about actions. I said something dumb or accidentally broke your favorite mug, and I feel guilty about that because I regret doing something that hurt you. Guilt can be useful. It might prompt me to apologize for what I said, to buy you a new mug, to watch out next time I'm walking by the table so I don't bump into it again, etc. My actions in this situation went counter to my core beliefs, and I feel upset about it and am resolved to change in the future. Guilt does /not/ say anything about who I am as a person.

That's shame territory. It's the difference between 'I fucked up' and /I'm a fuck up/ as like, an inherent state of being. Shame is the thing that gets in the way of our ability to grow and change. Why bother doing anything different if I'm just always doomed to failure? If I'm fundamentally a bad person at my core? When people feel shame, that's when they retreat into themselves, or get defensive and double down. It's a way to shut down a dialogue, not open it. As someone who has dealt with feeling a lot of shame in my life, it has been hugely helpful to me to practice recognizing when something is a trigger for my shame, and to learn how to move through it in a healthy way as opposed to letting it get the better of me and sometimes the people I love.

Shame is very often a result of trauma--I know mine is. If your parents were abusive to you as a child, your kid brain, being unable to understand why the people who are supposed to love and care for you the most are instead A Threat, might land on the only reasonable explanation being that /you/ are somehow the problem. It's a way to cope, but now as an adult it's become maladaptive. This is not your fault, but you are now the only one with the ability to choose to try and change that. Which is so hard! God it's so fucking hard. But I'm working on it, and it's made me really happy to hear in the notes that other people are working on it too.

If you want to learn more, Brene Brown's work is a decent accessible starting place. Here's a short post she did on the differences between shame and guilt, and here's a ted talk she gave about shame. Here's a podcast from the American Psychological Association about the differences between shame and guilt And here's a handy infographic from the national institute for the clinical application of behavioral medicine. They provide a lot of materials and training courses for clinicians, including how to help people work through shame. They break it down further into helpful and unhelpful guilt, and I will fully say that what I wrote above is an oversimplification for the sake of a blog post, so I encourage you to look more deeply into this stuff if you're interested.

and finally, here is one of my favorite ted talks of all time from the author Jon Ronson about the practice of public shaming on the internet. He also wrote a book about it, called So You've Been Publicly Shamed, and I believe there was also a podcast series too. I wish it didn't still feel relevant a decade after the fact, but it really really does.

[bugthingsdaily]

still can't believe this thing almost escaped it's old enclosure

MILLIPEDE!!! i think when i move in with my girlfriend i want to own a bug... a millipede would be so nice