it's me, the unhelpful tips npc

whats up gamers im here to do nothing but reblog. (adult.)

[briscal]

[whaddit]

What the fuck He gets so dry

[foreveriallyzombified]

what the fuck He gets so dry

white soft fur And dewy eye

baby boy seal boy i Won’t pry

but wat on earth has made You cry

[dajo42]

i quit cold turkey

quit what?

cold turkey

yeah but what did you quit

im telling you, i quit cold turkey

alcohol?

no i quit cold turkey

i wasnt offering, im trying to figure out what you quit

and im telling you i quit cold turkey

wait. you quit cold turkey?

yes i quit cold turkey

like the meat?

no i dont like it thats why i quit it

cold turkey?

no im gradually weaning myself off it

[man-peach-reborn]

[c3rvida3]

Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.

"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."

Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.

[mucmucvi]

This reminds me of a joke I have with two of my cousins

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[melonisopod]

[outofcontexttomodachilife]

(submitted by @imanexistentialcrisis)

[important-cat-pics]

[orthoscheme]

these brownies seem a little strong

[orthoscheme]

well if i have any complaints i can just call potassium about it but im too meek so i wont

[mark-gently]

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit

[lukewarmtomatosoup]

gar field? that’s not where they’re supposed to be

[encryptidarchivist]

ah,,, but they are such gentle beasts,,,

[lukewarmtomatosoup]

oh wow… how serene…

[konoko]

[thysannia]

[yellow-cat]

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

[thisisdogs]

weird animals run all the time dude

[yellow-cat]

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

[walkhimdown]

[g1sunstreaker]

[starrynet]

[the-overthinktank]

this pet adoption database has insane website design choices

[whitepeopletwitter]

[birds-in-posts]

Northern cardinal (Cardinalis cardinalis)

[inzergue]

my favorite mii so far

[inzergue]

patch notes

turned on glow effect and adjusted color palette of body to compensate

modeled window and menubar ui more specifically after MacOS 8.6, including the rainbow apple logo

added subtle pattern to desktop wallpaper

added trash can to desktop

added "iMac" label to body

gifted her a pet CD-ROM

[r0zeclawz]

sick post i just found online. sorry i couldnt find the source

[r0zeclawz]

if this gets more notes than the memedaddy repost it would be really funny actually