Germophobe

Minors DNI, snz kink blog, early 20s, he/him, lover of colds/contagion/mess

[doublegsnz]

I have a cold! I woke up this morning feeling quite rough, and ended up like this by the end of the day (three sneezing fits spliced together, getting sneezier as they go along.) 🤧🤧🤧

I can’t stop sneezing, and I already feel awful - please distract me by telling me how you imagine I caught this cold! ❤️🤧

[snzyspencer]

Don’t know if you’re still interested in getting asks, but here’s a contagion scenario courtesy of my overtired yet still relentlessly horny brain:

Colds become infectious shortly before symptoms start displaying and are most contagious in those first few days—keep that in mind as we continue. Imagine our person A, who is flying halfway across the world on a long-planned, bucket-list trip. A is, of course, extremely excited to see all the major sights in their destination, and they’ve planned a full, jam-packed itinerary, with multiple group tours a day.

A arrives at the airport, and, despite being exhausted from the overtime they’ve been putting in at work and stressed from last-minute packing, their anticipation completely outweighs how run-down their body is, leaving A in such a ebullient mood that they don’t even register the check-in attendant’s constant sniffling and nose-rubbing as A hands over their passport, receives their boarding pass, and checks their suitcases. Nor is A at all fazed by the security guard’s hoarseness and occasional cough as they have to get patted down after triggering the scanner. A goes straight to their gate, but the waiting area is crowded despite how early they arrived, and the only unoccupied seat they spot is in the back corner, next to an exhausted-looking man who seems more like a walking cold medicine commercial than a fellow traveler. As A approaches, the man buries his Rudolph-esque nose into a visibly soggy brown napkin, shredding the thin paper with a monstrous sneeze, then adds the remnants to the veritable mountain of used napkins he has accumulated on A’s intended seat. A, though, still preoccupied with daydreaming about finally beginning their long-awaited trip, doesn’t even flinch before asking if they can sit; the man begrudgingly sweeps his napkin pile into his lap, and A sits down and puts on their headphones to listen to a travel podcast about their destination, completely blocking out the germ factory to their right, even as he runs out of napkins and starts spraying wet sneezes openly on to the floor in front of them. Finally, boarding begins and A settles in for their long-haul flight. A hasn’t flown much before and is very taken with the view from their window seat, so much so that they completely miss the increasing number of throat clears coming from their seatmate as the hours pass, and A gives only a perfunctory blessing when the descent prompts an only half-covered sneezing fit… A’s excitement has rendered them oblivious to the fact that they, by now thoroughly infected and incubating a nasty cold, will soon be in the same position as the unfortunate passenger in the middle seat.

The next morning, A has booked an early walking tour booked to avoid the mid-day heat. As soon as they leave their air-conditioned hotel, though, A starts sneezing like they never have before. They haven’t any allergies before, and they are rather disgruntled to find that their dream destination disagrees badly with their immune system. Their walking tour starts soon, and A decides that they don’t have time to find a pharmacy and wrangle with unfamiliar medicine in a foreign language; they’ll just have to deal with the sneezing for the day. Little does A know, the cold viruses they picked up the day before have been replicating busily in their nose, ready to be spread afar with each seemingly-innocuous allergy sneeze.

And spread the cold viruses do: A is typically not a sneezy person and is entirely taken unawares by their newfound allergy, so their frequent sneezing goes mostly uncovered, the germ-ridden spray generously misting the guide and all the other tourists in the group; having not packed any tissues, A is forced to resort to wiping their nose on their sleeve and hands, spreading more germs with every touch (A, unfortunately for those behind them, has the habit of holding doors; once the tour ends, they also make sure to shake hands with the guide and the new friends they’ve made). After the walking tour, A still has no chance to pick up allergy medicine, as they rush to get to their three back-to-back museum reservations on time. They sneeze at pace, wetly and poorly covered, for the rest of the day, freely expelling cold viruses in the lines to get into the museums and the crowds around the most famous artworks, as well as at the poor docents, whom A mists frequently when interrupted by an unexpected sneeze in the midst of asking questions about the art. After the museums, A hurries onward to their dinner reservation, where they flip through the menu with their by now thoroughly germ-covered hands and share their cold more directly with both the servers and fellow diners via their constant, clockwork sneezes, which have now become even more unpredictable and messier than in the morning. A gets back to the hotel too exhausted to bother with finding medicine, stumbling straight into bed.

The next day, A wakes up feeling wretched, throat aching and nose dripping wildly, the first cold symptoms having set in; having no prior experience, though, A assumes this is normal for allergies and, beside, they have so much planned for the day and so much they still need to see, what’s a little discomfort in the grand scheme of things? A was planning to finally figure out the allergy medicine, but they’ve overslept a bit, so they head straight off to their first tour of the day instead. The day goes much as the last did; the sneezes are still coming hard and fast, and A is still caught off guard every time, spraying whatever poor souls are unlucky enough go be in their vicinity, usually the guide. As the day wears on, A’s voice begins to acquire a creaking quality and aches start to build in their head and throughout their body, but A is still convinced all their symptoms is just the consequence of their new allergy, and they don’t bother taking any extra precautions against spreading their germs to everyone they come across. A spends most of the night kept up by chills and the beginnings of a cough, and they end up the calling the front desk to ask for an extra blanket, the bellboy who brought it up getting an errant sneeze in the face for his trouble.

The next day, A is now properly unwell. However, this is the day A had managed to get tickets to the most famous landmarks/attractions in the destination, and they’re single-mindedly focused on seeing it all, so A is somehow still in denial about their current cold-ridden state. The slight cough from the night has now fully developed, but A’s sneezing, spurred on by their allergen, continues at the same blistering rate, though with increasing force and messiness. As A boards the bus to the first landmark, they are a veritable symphony of sickness, but they still make no effort to cover, since they ‘most certainly aren’t sick.’ The lacklustre hygiene of the past two days continues even when A enters the sardine-like press of bodies inside the landmark, they coughing and sneezing freely on untold numbers of other tourists. By the end of the day, four landmarks, five bus rides, and hundreds of contagious, virus-spraying sneezes later, A is completely wrung out. Determined as A is, they can no longer maintain the denial nor the energy to keep sightseeing, and they are forced to spend the rest of their vacation stuck in bed. Too bad A had already spent the most contagious part of their cold sharing it with their guides, other tourists, and anyone else they had encountered. With A’s help, the monstrous cold they had picked up at the airport had been shared with dozens of new hosts.

This is sooooooo good anon 👌

[bendithiachi]

every time i tell someone irl i'm still on tumblr they say something like "even after the porn ban?" and i give them a little secret smile and say "you just have to develop kinks so esoteric they aren't recognized as porn" and we all have a laugh and none of them know i go on tumblr and jack off to sneezing

[quosteroo]

Friendly reminder that if you use generative AI for making sneeze content, block me. If I see GenAI on your blog, I’m blocking you.

GenAI’s not nearly at a place where it can be used ethically, and in a way that doesn’t actively hurt the ecosystem.

In my country especially, huge tech industries, billionaires, and my government are all using generative AI as backing to instill fear and threats of destroying small jobs that marginalized communities rely on to put food on tables for families. All to scrape extra coins into their already-fat wallets.

The richest person in the world is trying to spoon feed his robot to erase black history and argue that trans people don’t deserve to exist.

This is why I don’t have any respect for GenAI at the moment. The humans using them obsessively are too hinged on maximum product for minimum effort, which they mask under the term ‘accessibility.’

And to those who use GenAI in the sneeze fetish community? If you ever come across this post, take a moment to think about the people you are finding yourself surrounded by. Do you notice people distancing themselves from you? Do you see that as the months go by, that ‘art’ you spent hundreds (or for some, thousands) of dollars worth of AI programs on looks soulless? Is this what you’re prepared to spend hundreds more on?

Feel free to reblog this post if you want those on your snzblr blog to know you do not stand with GenAI. Do not reblog to non-snz blogs.

[thedoctor6420]

really wish someone was with me

[starrysnz]

hi cuties, let’s tests ourselves for covid this fall/winter when we get sick. love you! don’t spread disabling viruses!

/dont rb outside of snzblr

[lenishhiew]

^^^ and also outside of fall/winter! covid is a year-round endemic disease!

[hitchykitty]

adding to say let’s test ourselves even if you think it’s “just allergies” & an FYI that covid can also be asymptomatic, so pls test regularly!!!

here is a maskbloc resource guide of free masks/tests most likely available in your area if finances are a barrier to keeping yourself & your community safe

also pls get vaccinated for flu/covid & honestly literally anything you need to be updated on

pls & thank you loves 💕

[silentsneezes]

guys if you are sick PLEASE WEAR A MASK!!! if you are anti-masking just block me now

if you’re feeling symptomatic, wear a mask. if someone that you live with is sick, wear a mask. if you have potentially been exposed to any illness, wear a mask.

aside from it being common courtesy, it’s a protective measure for disabled and chronically ill people!!

it’s not sexy to purposefully spread illness (unconsensually). be kind, be respectful, and mask when you need to

[sleepysoftsnz]

Hey gang, short little PSA/check in under the cut ... I know none of us like talking about the c-word, but it's important, especially given certain recent decisions by the US government and the fact that illness/disability is demonized under fascism. Anyway, this is all out of love/a desire to help you keep yourself and your community safe.

COVID is bad. I can provide sources on all the ways it can fuck up your whole body, but I feel like this community already takes that pretty seriously. So that's pretty well established ... don't fuck around with this virus. BUT!!! Don't panic. There are things you can do to protect yourself, patterns to be aware of, etc. Here are a few things that might be helpful for you.

Wastewater data: For the US, I suggest looking at data from the CDC and WastewaterSCAN. (Feel free to drop recommendations for other countries in the comments.) Based on data collected since 2020, COVID CIRCULATES YEAR-ROUND AND SURGES EVERY SUMMER AND WINTER.

Any mask is better than no mask. N95s, KN95s, KF94s, and FFP2s are considered the most effective masks available to the general public for filtering COVID. BUT any mask you will wear is better than no mask, as it will still create a filter, even if it's imperfect.

Masking sometimes is better than not masking ever. Do I wish people would mask regularly? Yep. I really do. But I know that's not reality for most people, and so the main places I would really, really suggest masking for your safety and the safety of others is on public transport, in grocery stores, and at medical facilities. These are usually places people HAVE to go regardless of whether or not they are disabled/"high risk." Even if you are not symptomatic when visiting these places, COVID often spreads asymptomatically (source).

Testing at all is better than not testing. Rapid tests are notorious for giving false negatives, and a negative should be confirmed by repeated rounds of testing (source). Obviously, the cost can stack up. Testing even once is better than not testing. This website provides some helpful info on when you're most likely to get an accurate test result/what day to test.

THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO COST YOU MONEY: Mask blocs provide free masks and often have free tests as well. They will also often ship you supplies for free. Maskbloc.org has a worldwide directory to help you find resources.

What the hell are we doing about vaccines? I am wildly confused right now on accessing vaccines under the new guidelines here in America. A lot of us will meet the requirements to get one because we'd be considered "at increased risk" (here's the list of conditions that make you "at increased risk") ... but I don't know if you need a doctor's note to get approved by insurance or what. This may be something you have to ask your individual pharmacy. Important to note: COVID vaccines help to lower your risk of infection, but they're much more about lowering the severity of infection (especially true when fewer and fewer people are getting vaccinated). (STILL IMPORTANT! I just also recommend masking as well to prevent the actual infection to begin with.)

Why should you care? Setting aside the fact that I hope you care for YOUR health ... I can't speak for every country, but I can speak to what's happening in the US. We are seeing protections for every community being stripped away. Healthcare, civil rights, the rights of immigrants and trans people, disability rights, worker protections, regulations for our food and water and medicine ... the list goes on. Disability generally impacts the most vulnerable communities first (immigrants, Black people, low-income communities, trans people, etc.) and COVID is no different here. And with all these rights and resources being stripped away, and with a general rise in policies rooted in eugenics, there is less and less you can do to seek help if/when you get sick or become disabled. Many of us would love to attend protests or be out in the streets, but we're too sick to go. What's going to happen as more and more of us become sick?

Tl;dr: Fight fascism by doing what you can to fight COVID.

Okay, I'm done. Stay healthy, friends. I hate that we live in this hellscape. Love ya'll.

[autumnal-chill]

wanna know what's hot? covering your sneezes/coughs. and wearing a mask if you've got to be in public while sick.

[lenishhiew]

^^^ this 100%. illness is only hot when it's contained. if you knowingly and unnecessarily expose strangers to your illness you are no friend to the disabled community.

[softblesses]

breaking thru the horny for a minute to remind everyone: even if you think it’s just a cold, test for covid! Don’t hurt yourself or others by being silly Billy

[rydingthrulife]

Who else tries to hide the fact that they are sick? To basically not draw attention to themselves? 😣 my manager was like wait you felt sick yesterday? I’m like yeah and she was like I didn’t even notice and I was like “well mama didn’t raise no bitch” 😎🤧

[sweetlysniffly]

very much I actually HATE peoples knowing I’m sick

[very-freakin-effable]

LITERALLY SAME

[thebigchoo]

Me when anyone perceives me as sick:

[messysneeze]

someone coming down with a cold in the nose. it's tickly and runny and prickly and blocked and they just can't stop sneezing.

not going to work is simply out of the question, and they must attend to all their duties. they do them dripping into a handkerchief or a series of tissues, with big wet sniffs and a lot of sneezes.

a cold in the nose develops into a cold in the head. their head is fuzzy and they can't quite think clearly. their ears are blocked, and their voice becomes deeper, hoarse and husky. their mouth hangs open, and their still-constant sneezes turn from explosions of spray into expulsions of persistent, gluey snot.

the cold in the head develops into a cold in the head and chest, and a thick, productive cough that rattles their chest and leaves them feeling battered, like their lungs are lined with frost and filling with snot. the sinus infection that had been brewing kicks in full force; the mess is endless and miserable. they are breathing completely through their mouth, but snot bubbles form in their hypersensitive, deep red nostrils and slide down their red philtrum to their panting, open mouth. still, they are dragging themselves to work.

the cold in the head and chest develops into a cold in their entire body. they're exhausted and achy and shivery. their sneezes have endless thick snot but are also exploding in clouds of spray again. their fever-glassy eyes try to close, but they force them back open. they just want to lie down and go to sleep, and it's getting more tempting by the minute.

[selene-and-the-cold]

A couple sitting propped up in their large bed in their favorite pjs. They both came down with the same terrible cold, their noses bright red, streaming and full to the brim with sneezes. Used, balled-up tissues are scattered all around them like a halo, and they've sneezed so much today, that person A has given up on tissues altogether and is just giving themselves up to the sneezes, letting them fly uncovered for why bother anyway if both of them are sick already?

B is adamant that all sneezes should be covered, so when A's breath hitches helplessly, B reaches out a hand to catch A's desperate "Aaahh'TIISSHU!!!" in their hand, only to feel a sneeze blooming in their own nose. Without thinking, they hold the hand A has just sneezed into in front of their own nose and sneeze a spraying "Heh'PTTSSHIEW!!!" into it, so now their palm is shimmering wet with both their colds.

[poiub55]

Hey there! Love your blog - First message I’ve sent as I’m a little shy but I know you haven’t recorded anything like this before and was wondering if you’d consider doing a scream sneeze wav or vid at some point? Like a traditional “dad sneeze” 🤧 That would be so hot. Especially if you managed to capture the spray too! I think I’d pass out and die

well Anon since the sun is out this evening and you asked ever so nicely 💜 (please don't die though)

cw: spray

[messysneeze]

remixed @sneezeshame's cold simulator on ao3 into a generator with some tweaks to be more my type of thing.

sample output:

A moderate cold that lasts for 4 days. Rapid overnight onset, with the first symptom of exhaustion. Congestion: 44%. The worst symptoms (other than sneezing), in descending order, are: explosive headache; obvious aches; drippy headache; and sluggish chills. Nose: bright red. At its highest, their temperature is 101. Their voice is hoarse, and they are mouthbreathing a little, trying to hide it. Sleep: sleeping with constantly dripping nose, sleep quality medium. Line: "I don't feel too good". Passed to the next person by used tissues.

[snottysnz]

2 friends sharing a bed together during a sleepover, and 1 of them is well aware that they're coming down with a cold. their nose was been running all day, they've sneezed more times then they can count, and they can feel the congestion bundling in their sinuses. nonetheless, they still think it's a good idea to share a bed with their friend, who seems to be either completely unbothered or unaware of their cold-ridden bed buddy. all through the night they sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. their friend is a heavy sleeper and somehow doesn't wake up from all the sneezing, even when more often than not, the sneezes are sprayed almost directly in their face. once morning comes, both the friends have red runny stuffy noses and are sneezing their heads off.

[snottysnz]

"c'mere, i've caught this r-r-really s-s-sdeezy cold i-i-i-iHh'ITSShhh'ih! H'usshhiew! Heh'shiew! i wanna share wid you. guh. i'b so snotty, and by sdeezes are so messy-y-yIiHh’Nkxshh! Heh-hehahISSHHoo! H'uSSHhhiew! scuse me. guh. snrrf. by cold is very contagious. snrrf. you're gonna be sdeezing and sniffling just like be in no time-e-eHehahissho!!!!!"