PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
hello vonnie
Kiana Khansmith
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Game of Thrones Daily
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Kaledo Art
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will byers stan first human second
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
art blog(derogatory)
tumblr dot com
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@getoffmyastroturf
In the last two years I came out, left my job, moved twice, got a promotion, first pride, built an amazing gay family, and (most importantly) met an amazing woman. She’s come over to see me twice, in august imma go to the states and we gonna fuck shit up there 😂
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
You missed some of the best ones
the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.
How could you forget this one though
I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.
someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?
Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.
Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.
Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”
ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!
I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life
im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands
Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:
Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple
I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.
Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor
He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god
It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.
An older project, but he also did this:
(x)
How could y’all forget the baggiest bag??
World Heritage Post
Absolute Fucking Legend
Whale Shark Gliding Through Bioluminiscent Algae _ Mike Nulty
rb to relieve the back pain of the person u reblogged this from
So I’m guessing we’re all growing old with each other on tumblr.
Old friends senior blog sanctuary
Boobs aren’t circular. Boobs sag. Boobs can be lobsided. Boobs can be uneven. Boobs can be unsymmetrical. Boobs can have dry skin. Boobs can have stretch marks. Boobs can have spots. Boobs can be small. Boobs can be big. Boobs are not always what you see in porn and we won’t apologise for that.
Breasts are commonly asymmetrical. They literally are different sizes (unless your surgeon decided otherwise). Shoutout to uneven boobs.
im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing
Listen, we have to keep this thing circulating on the internet for at least another two decades, because I have to believe that one day that little girl will be grown enough to stumble upon it and She Will Explain
Read the rumor that Chris Pratt is accepting voice work bc he's unvaccinated and can't get in-person gigs, and you know what? I'm a truther now. This is my flat earth. This is my conspiracy theory I wholeheartedly accept
He could post a video of himself getting vaccinated and flash his vaccination card on camera and I'd still be like, this is clearly CGI. Look at the way the needle clips through his skin. Fake news.
The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.
She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.
But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand
Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*
Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*
This is a Greek comedy I could get behind
What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn't drown. Then they'd have a sack that's invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.
Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield
thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys
and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over.
I honestly think that the reason that twitter and tik tok think that tumblr is dead is that it does not have an algorythym that spoon feeds you content in the same way, there's no fyp and there's no news feed in the same way and people come here not realising they actually have to follow creators to see content.
Literally yes
“wait... who am I supposed to follow?” is an unintentionally and violently honest sentence
Dan Levy is giving elementary school art project but I love it
It’s directly inspired by a David Wojnarowicz piece called “F*ck You F*ggot F*cker”. Wojnarowicz was an ACT UP member and died of AIDS in July 1992. (x)
when two musicians sing into the same microphone and lean in very close to each other… like omg are you guys gonna kiss now to relieve the homoerotic tension?😳
THIS IS NOT ABOUT ONE DIRECTION I DON’T KNOW WHO THIS “HARRY” PERSON IS GO WATCH BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN AND CLARENCE CLEMONS KISS ON STAGE RIGHT NOW
op is the only valid person i’ve ever met. everyone else needs to come to the light
Okay, but this is really important: Bruce Springsteen occupied this really weird place in music history. His songs were all from this pessimistic, nihilistic view of an America that had let him down:
Just like the anti-Vietnam War protest songs that we associate with the 1960s, or the early nihilism that spawned punk music in the 1970s. But he didn’t *sound* like a punk anarchist; he sounded like a country rock singer. When he released Born in the U.S.A. people completely misinterpreted (or possibly ignored) the lyrics in favor of the tone of the music.
Politicians used his music to promote their ‘Murica Yes! brand, and he had to literally explain that that was not what he was about. He’s over here asking when we’re going to have jobs and heathcare, not stanning the politicians who weren’t helping the people.
It was also kind of a big deal that he had an integrated band, because even as late as the 1980s music was still kind of segregated and MTV was straight up racist. They refused to play and promote black artists and then claimed that were no black artists in the first place. Michael Jackson’s record company had to threaten a boycott of their white artists to get MTV to play his Thriller video.
Plus, the first black/white interracial kiss on TV was in 1968 (OG Star Trek). Also it took us until the 70s to get sympathetic gay characters on screen, and the 90s to get gay characters to kiss onscreen. And all of those firsts were met with outrage.
So keep that in mind when you see Bruce Springsteen not just playing with an interracial band, but engaging in an interracial, gay kiss on stage repeatedly.
Passages from American Popular Music by Larry Starr and Christopher Waterman
holy shit
Via Feminist News.
Evelyn Berezin built the first word processor.
Her patents include:
Information Transfer Apparatus
Electronic Data File Processor
Information Transfer System
On-Line Data Transfer Apparatus
Electrical Assemblage
Data Processing System
Arithmetic Device
Electronic Calculator with Dynamic Recirculating Storage Register
Control means with Record Sensing for an Electronic Calculator
Not only did she build the first word processor..
Among them was a system for the US Army for range calculations, a system for controlling the distribution of magazines, and what is now considered the first office computer.
..Which was entirely designed by herself. The first office computer.
“A collection of common glyphs of the poorly understood Memeorite civilization of the Second Silicon Age. Memeorite glyphs possess multiple conflicting interpretations and a complexity of meaning impossible to capture in a few short words. These are rough translations only.”
Source: https://twitter.com/beach_fox/status/1325668490431246336 (which include more “memeorite glyphs”
We have public healthcare and teeth are still considered a luxury. Make it make sense.
I mean, even in the UK you have to pay for dentistry. It is heavily subsided by the NHS but at the moment it’s nearly impossible to find any NHS dentists. I had to pay £40 for a 10 minute check up as my wisdom tooth was playing up - luckily I have no issues with my teeth, otherwise I would be screwed! A friend of mine is having to pay £600 for a crown as again, she couldn’t find an NHS dentist (even then, it would be over £200, an expense that many, many people in this country cannot afford).
Dental care is essential to health.
We have free healthcare in NZ but likewise have to pay for dental. Cost $2K to have my daughter’s two impacted wisdom teeth removed. It they weren’t removed they would have deformed her lower teeth and she would’ve had to have some of them removed. While we were waiting to see the specialist he showed off his car to some kid. That shit looked like it cost more than all my worldly possessions combined. Had to pay $400 just for her sedation!!!. I’m having issues with a back tooth and my options may be a $300 extraction vs a $1,500 crown.
Bad teeth literally cause heart attacks and no doubt a myriad of other health issues, WHY isn’t dental care free (or at least affordable).
“Women learn to exhibit, rather than to inhabit their bodies.”
— Carol J. Adams, The Pornography of Meat
