I swear I exist

it/its he/him • 20 • nonhuman puppet/doll + hyena + moray eel • used to think I was kin, turns out I'm delusional AND kin lmao • I like/follow from lunarlogix • feel free to message or ask for my discord!

[cataplat]

cooking with trauma

[cataplat]

cooking with trauma

[gncfag-moved]

i know its been said b4 but growing up suicidal and then reaching an age you never planned to live to is extremely stressful and terrifying, and we deserve more credit for not killing ourselves and THEN having to make up for the time we spent not caring if we lived or died and not doing work to improve our lives.

[gncfag-moved]

i feel behind in life because i spent the last 7 ish years not giving a shit about my future because i assumed id be dead before id have to deal with that, and now i have to start making decisions that many people started considering years ago.

[gncfag-moved]

i just feel like. suicidal people dont get credit for firstly, how stressful life is while suicidal, how difficult it is just to do simple tasks, and secondly, how hard it is to recover from years spent not caring once a person is no longer actively suicidal or no longer having suicidal ideations.

[xx-wretchedcreature-xx]

Shipping a ship not in the way "I think X and Y should kiss" way but in the "I am X and Y is my fictional other" way

[deltoradecay]

Fictionfolk culture is "I would NOT fucking say that", we all know this... But sometimes it's also "Ohhh fuck. I would fucking say that wouldn't I? Horrible".

[fuckyoubitch-xoxo-deactivated20]

fictionkin affirmations

YOU ARE THE CHARACTER.

YOU LOOK LIKE THE CHARACTER

YOU ACT LIKE THE CHARACTER

YOU ARE THE CHARACTER!

YOU ARE LOVED!!! NO MATTER THE SOURCE I LOVE YOU!!!!

[scaredofaliens]

shoutout to anyone who kins. at all. from anything

[genlossranbooautism]

Trying to explain being fictionkin

[boycritter]

life is so boring im considering giving myself another eating disorder just to have something to do

[boycritter]

to quote ghost fraseris that weird time did have a certain je ne sais quoi

[pansyfemme]

was going through some of my health records and some doctor put “dresses oddly” next to my psychotic symptoms. hey fuck you too man

[pansyfemme]

this post getting notes is funny because people who are definitly unfamilar with this blog are like ‘ugh they’ll say that to anything’ no i do dress eccentrically. that is true. but i just tend to think that its weird to equate me being interested in fashion as another trait of my already established mental illness. maybe im just chilling. maybe im just having some fun

[pansyfemme]

this may be crazy but i think psychotic people can have hobbies

[housegu3st]

For the longest time I haven't felt like any names/titles I've been called fit, and so I've somewhat become content with being a nameless being who gets nicknames attached by those who wish to do so. I've collected lists of nicknames, some are jokes, others are genuine attempts. The emotional equivalent of being the rival in a Pokémon game and getting named something, there's some that take it serious and some that don't. Either way it tells me a lot about a person the longer they stick to calling me that nickname or if they decide they want to change it to call me something else.

As long as I know what to listen for, I will respond to any title if told beforehand.

But at the same time there's a part of me still waiting, waiting for something to click. I know I have one, that there is a name out there that is mine that I lost or have forgotten. I do have a name, it's just hidden from me.

Sure for reference purposes there are common nicknames I can suggest, for short interactions, convenience or otherwise not wanting to have to explain it, but they don't ever feel quite right.

Name either to feminine or too overly masculine, too distant, and no real draw to any particular letters. Like if I had a name, it wasn't something in English but rather some lost language.

I don't have a name, but someday maybe I'll find it.

Who knows

[txttletale]

ok i've been called a sex freak tranny too i get where you're coming from but like also please be more careful with extremely vague posts about Problematic Kinks

no. people's openness about what two consenting adults can do in private has no bearing on how likely they are to be child abusers or close ranks about child abusers & thinking there is some correlation is a sign that your stance on sexual abuse is mediated more by disgust reaction and aesthetic associations than by structural analysis. there is a pretty hard and obvious line between not condemming consensual sex acts between adults and being a pedophile and thinking that it's some sort of spectrum or slippery slope there imo speaks poorly to your conceptualization of why SA is a bad thing.

people love to say that X or Y kink Normalizes Abuse, but, like, actually think about communities where sexual abuse is 'normalized' in society. is the problem with the catholic church that it's too pro-kink? is the problem with US professional gymnastics that it's too pro-kink? is the problem with the amish that they're too pro-kink? was the problem with the british entertainment industry in the 1970s that it was too pro-kink? is the problem with the prison system that it's too pro-kink? &c. &c. &c.

sexual abuse doesn't happen because people are degenerate perverts and everyone is too accepting of that, sexual abuse happens because society is full of institutions that give adults structural power over children and men structural power over women. giving credence to the former, even in the form of thinking you have to be "super careful" about perverts, is a straightforwardly reactionary position.

[beemovieerotica]

it's kind of crazy on here how when i try to talk about my own experience of male privilege after transitioning to male, especially in STEM, someone always comes forward with "but what if they found out you aren't ACTUALLY a man are trans??? gotcha! you aren't a man i mean, you don't have male privilege!"

[beemovieerotica]

it becomes really apparent what people's thought processes are once they roll up with "so you're saying closeted trans women who are read as male experience male privilege?"

like. what an insane way to admit in one breath that you don't believe that trans men or trans women are who they say they are. like you're simultaneously denying a trans man the ability to say "i'm male therefore i exist in this position in society" and the trans woman "i am not male so i do not exist in that position in society."

do y'all think that a gay man has "straight privilege" if he agrees to a lavender marriage, never engages intimately with other men, and therefore """enjoys""" being seen as straight by society? or would we rightly recognize this as the absolute antithesis of an authentic and privileged life? do we get that self-annihilation is not a privilege, and this is the difference between a trans man and a trans woman being treated as male?

[vro0ms-evil-twin]

I fucking hate that the general response to RFK Jr's eugenist take on autistic people is "autistic people do pay taxes, autistic people do work, autistic people do date!"

Some autistic people don't and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life. Some autistic people do need constant help and support and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life.

Once again we're falling in the right wing trap of :

They make a hateful, fascist statement

Instead of focusing on the fact that it is hateful and fascist we try to show them that they are factually wrong

We throw our own allies and the most vulnerable of us under the bus in the process

We legitimise an only slightly less hateful, fascist view as we go

They have completed their goal of making us accept the still hateful, fascist second version, hurrah. What a victory.

Right now what we're getting to with that is that autistic people who can work and pay taxes are okay, and the others aren't. Fuck this shit.

Same thing happens with the people who are being deported ("they have a visa!", "they didn't even have a criminal record!" -> even if they didn't have a visa, even if they did have a criminal record, deporting them and detaining them in what's essentially a concentration camp wouldn't be okay, you absolute tools of fascism.)

[7frogsspeaks]

In case anyone needs more clarification:

What RFK is saying: "Autistic people can't work, so it's our duty as a society to erase autism" -> This is eugenics

Harmful response: "Many autistic people do work!" -> Validates the belief that that someone being unable to work is shameful and makes them a lesser person, and implies that autistic people should not need support

Correct response: "Yes, many autistic people can't work, so it's our duty as a society to make sure they are supported, you fascist asshole" -> Accepts the realities of disability and values the lives of disabled people, names the actual problem here

[starblaster]

i have never met an unpsychotic person who knows what it actually means to “not encourage the delusion” …not a single one

[starblaster]

what “don’t encourage the delusion” means:

don’t argue with or challenge the delusion—attempting to disprove someone’s delusions is not helpful at all and will result in that person not trusting you

assure the delusional person that they are safe; be open and honest at all times

encourage them to verbalize their feelings and offer protection to prevent injury to themselves or, possibly, others

start building a trusting relationship with them rather than acting on a desire to control their symptoms

do not confirm or feed into the delusion by asking questions about it when the person is not experiencing a psychotic episode

what it does not mean:

insisting to a psychotic person experiencing psychosis that what they’re experiencing isn’t real

[gayskrillex]

I don’t mean to trivialize psychosis by making a weird comparison, but this guide also serves as a handy checklist for helping someone through a bad drug trip. In both cases your number one priority is to get the person through whatever they’re dealing with unharmed.

[starblaster]

i don’t think it’s trivializing at all, nor a weird comparison—as a psychotic person who has had psychotic episodes inadvertently triggered by drug use and/or worsened while trying to self-medicate with drugs, i think this is an important addition.

[thebibliosphere]

It’s so embarrassing when I’m going through a mental breakdown and then my period shows up.

It feels like the Scooby Doo meme where Fred pulls off the monster’s mask and underneath there’s a rich white man but instead it’s untreated PMDD.

Like ah, yes. Once a month Blood Madness takes hold and suddenly I’m hyperventilating in my closet trying to talk myself down from making a rash and irreversible decision as my brain burns itself to the ground in response to hormonal fluctuations.

By the by, if this is at all relatable to you, that’s not normal. That is potentially a thing called Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It’s listed in the DSM-5 as a depressive disorder. And your life doesn’t have to be like this.

I’m in a nightmare position where the medications that can help with PMDD make my complex immune disorder issues worse.

But there is treatment for PMDD. It might be hard to access at first because it primarily affects people with a period, but keep fighting until someone takes you seriously and helps you.

Please. Do it for me if you can. It’ll make me feel better talking about this to know it helped other people not suffer.

[noodspoods]

There's a TREATMENT???? Please tell me more so I can be the best advocate for my wife

[thebibliosphere]

Usually the preferred methods are hormonal regulation via some form of birth control, SSRIs or anxiety medications, sometimes a combination depending on severity.

A lot of the treatment methods listed online will also recommend lifestyle changes like diet and exercise but as someone who is doing all that is definitely not enough for some of us.

Hell, sometimes just knowing what is happening to you is a temporary response to a hormonal shift can be helpful.

Before I knew what was happening it was terrifying and then embarrassing because of the misogyny that surrounds periods and the idea that they make you unstable. I felt like I was playing into a stereotype and I was so angry at myself for not being able to control it the way other people seemed able to.

I still go through mental hell for about a week every month before my period starts. But at least I know it’s temporary.

[chronicpaingirlie]

there is so much grief in losing things you love to your disability