Just Another Ghoul's Blog

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[logarto]

[writing-prompt-s]

The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.

[galwednesday]

“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.

The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”

“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince  spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.

“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”

“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”

“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”

“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”

The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”

[leaper182]

This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.

[malus-syl-vestris-deactivated20]

“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud” is the best sentence I have ever read in my life

[sixpenceee]

me: *gets a surge of motivation that lasts for 10 minutes*

[toloserswithlove-deactivated201]

[v0mmym0mmy-deactivated20200323]

Here's pics of it happening btw

[0-memento-mori-0]

Can we please just-

[iwtv1976]

[kookiechimchimtrash]

[melgillman]

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year!  Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

[catchymemes]

A year ago I got black-out drunk at a charity bar crawl. My best friend commissioned a painting of his favorite photo of me from that night.

[everythingfox]

I- what?

[captaincrusher]

[catsbeaversandducks]

[onesinnerzerostandards]

MY PAPAYAS

[exobiologist-deactivated2021091]

a crime of passion

[5luv]

there’s an ariana stan on twitter who got her phone taken off her and is accessing it thru any device she can find lmaoooo

[5luv]

you cannot make this shit up

[5luv]

free our girl dorothy

[damnalreadytakenurl]

[pjshirwit12]

LG Smart Refrigerator

I'm dead y'all

[thepuppyclub]

I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it. 

[larkandkatydid]

I love my dog and I love having a dog and I’m never loving dog-free again. HOWEVER, only cat owners experience the pure, altruistic love for a total asshole. The radiant joy of a cat person telling you about the disgusting demon cat that they clearly love is how God feels about us.

[yidquotes]

The last sentence is a winner.

[aradhels]

zodiac signs? in MY 2019?

dwarves - (march 21 - apr 19)

hobbits - (apr 20 - may 20)

nymphs - (may 21 - june 20)

angels - (june 21 - july 22)

dragons - (july 23 - aug 22)

mermaids - (aug 23 - sep 22)

banshees - (sep 23 - oct 22)

elves - (oct 23 - nov 21)

werewolves - (nov 22 - dec 21)

sirens - (dec 22 - jan 19)

vampires - (jan 20 - feb 20)

faeries - (feb 21 - march 20)

[ldkmmkldfs-deactivated20220707]

The new Cats trailer came out and I’m actually gonna start screaming

[ldkmmkldfs-deactivated20220707]

Hollywood: hey do y’all want some weirdly hyperrealistic furry characters with weird mocap, uncanny designs and an overall look that makes you want to throw up?

[ldkmmkldfs-deactivated20220707]

I was just complaining about how bad the Cats film looks and how it should have just been animated and apparently that was an idea that later got scrapped

I’ve never been more upset

[masterge77]

It gets better: Spielburg was going to be producing it, and the reason it was scrapped was because the animation studio that was going to make it ended up closing down, and as a result the project was scrapped.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/stunning-concept-art-for-spielbergs-animated-cats-movie-1599739506/amp

[ldkmmkldfs-deactivated20220707]

I’ll even one up you on it, said animated film had designs done by the Kung Fu Panda character designer :”D

[bi-villain]

[so-doggone-funny]

this is one of the greatest jokes this show has ever landed