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you are here. or there, i guess. formerly radwagon

[itznarcotic]

[tayne-dot-exe]

[spirantization]

I see some people in the notes thinking that this is the Death card, but it's not. It's much funnier. It's the Five of Cups, upright, which symbolizes like. Loss. Disappointment. Emotional Suffering. You thought you were going to get something and then you didn't. Even more hilarious than Fox News bringing in a tarot card reader for Trump in 2024 is that same tarot reader immediately flipping over a card that says LOSER.

[fanonical]

i want there to be more fanfic aus where everything is the same but for one minor detail. everything is the same but there’s sentient animals wandering around. everything is the same but everyone is called gerry. everything is the same but two characters are siblings for no reason

[naomitess]

At the Minnesota Fringe Festival in 2018 there was a show called “Hamlet, But Hamlet’s a Chicken.” It was more or less what it said on the tin. They had made arrangements to borrow some therapy chickens, and for any scene that needed Hamlet, an affectionate handler gently carried in that day’s chicken (it would be one specific chicken for any given performance, but they didn’t have one chicken play Hamlet the whole time as that would have stressed out the chickens) and set her on the stage and then the chicken got to wander around and do whatever she wanted as the other actors did the scene.

There was also, I think, a scene with swordfighting where it was “the fight scene, but everyone’s using pool noodles” and some other similarly bizarre changes, but the MAIN thing I remember

was Hamlet’s soliloquy

because they just announced, “Hamlet’s soliloquy!” and then brought out the chicken and set her on the stage and then let her just hang out being a chicken for like FIVE MINUTES and the entire audience watched, completely riveted. It helps that chickens are cute. At one point she fluffed up her feathers and everyone gasped. A+ show, would go see it again.

[absolvedgravitas]

America slaughtering buffalo and moving whole tribes for the sake of building railroads only to decide they dont actually like trains is giving the same energy as the english conquering the world for spices and then deciding they didnt like any of them. like father like son

[absolvedgravitas]

LETS GO!!!!! THE SHITBAG YOUNGER BROTHER ALSO COMMITS GENOCIDE AND OTHER COLONIAL ATTROCITIES!!!!!

[witnessings]

garfield caused a controversy a decade ago by publishing this on veterans day

[mycologyenthusiast-deactivated2]

based

[rainbow-femme]

The three kinds of bird species name

1. God’s Specialist Little Boy

2. Hot Breasted Milf

3. Grey Bird With Brown Head

4. Walter’s Fingernail

[rainbow-femme]

[elodieunderglass]

[communistkenobi-archive]

the actual reason I consume mediocre media is because I have bad taste. the deeper secret pretentious reason is because I think there’s something very revealing about bad media that you don’t get with good media. when you watch a poorly executed plot point unfold, you see the machinery behind it. you see the gap between what’s actually on screen and the true goal the author is striving for. if it’s particularly awful, you can even measure just how poorly mismatched the author’s skills are with the story they’re trying to tell you. watching a poorly executed narrative play out feels like you’re discovering something, because you see all the wiring and guts underneath that better authors hide from you, in the same way that movies hide boom mics and books make you forget you’re turning the pages. if a story is good and executed well you just see the story. but I want to see the guts and wires!

[communistkenobi-archive]

also I like complaining a lot

[huffylemon]

[sicknastyjr]

This shit is so ugly you fucking idiot

[atagotiak]

xXx_elonmusk_xXx

[marisatomay]

twitter is hell but i really hope it doesn’t actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life

[byjove]

“unions drowned out the voice of the individual 🥺” I can promise you employers were not listening to the voice of the individual to begin with

[thenewborndeity]

Oh ok. Childhood memory unlocked.

When i was a little kid, i had a "4d puzzle" of new york city.

You built the cardboard jigsaw base, then the foam island, and then you had plastic buildings and bridges.

And it had instructions to place the buildings in chronological order, as well as a timeline, hence "4d".

And i just fucking remembered. In 2001 on the timeline a step was "remove buildings #xx and #xy (World Trade Centers)" with no other explanation.

And as a kid i had no clue what that meant, but looking back on it my puzzle really just told me "alright kid, do a 9/11" and i, age 5, went along with it.

[boommaker1]

[faggot-friday]

YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

[faggot-friday]

i may be stupid

[faggot-friday]

you shut your whore mouth

[faggot-friday]

i won’t hesitate bitch

[xiaq]

Small Town Grocery Store Stories: LGBTQ+ friendly edition

Me: minding my own damn business in the grocery store

One of my students and a few of his teammates enter the dairy aisle. 

My student is holding hands with one of his teammates. 

My student: Oh hey, Professor X!

Me, who has both my student and his girlfriend in my class: …Hello

My student, looking at his hand-holding partner: Oh! Don’t worry. My girlfriend knows. Not that I’m cheating! I’m not cheating. I’m not gay.

Hand Holding boy: Not that being gay is a bad thing! It’s a good thing!

My student: Right! But no, listen. We aren’t together, we just hold hands in public sometimes.

Hand Holding Boy: Especially on Friday nights. And weekends. And at away games.

My student: Because sometimes people will say shit and then we can punch them! And if the fight started because someone was being homophobic, coach won’t get mad at us.

Hand Holding Boy: Always nice to punch a homophobe. And [gesturing to another boy in the group] maybe they’ll think twice about saying something to [other boy’s name] if he ever gets a boyfriend and wants to hold his hand for real. The Gay One, resigned but smiling: I’ve decided it’s sweet and not really fucking weird.

[the-long-gone-souls]

This is what “boys will be boys” is meant to be

[chaoticevilbean]

This is the best thing I’ve seen in a while.

[pseudomantis]

Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results

[pseudomantis]

Yeah actually I just discovered how to turn plastic into gold. Oh you want to know how I did it

Starts running away cutely

[jonnywaistcoat]

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[powerburial]

BDSM is fine, except for binding people which is fucked up, and dominating people which is fucked up, and sadism which is- lets be real- pretty fucked up, and masochism which is honestly lowkey pathetic

[some-lionheart]

this is what gays under 20 sound like when they talk about kink at pride